How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

With History as compulsory subject in mind...

suggested questions (to examiners) or sample questions (to students) to look out for tricks to trap you :

Malaysian history

Dilarang senyum atau ketawa semasa menjawab, kalau tidak anda akan digagalkan. (You are not allowed to laugh while you answer, or you will be considered as failed).

1. Siapakah yang membuka Melaka?(Who founded Malacca?)
a. Param
b. Parameswari
c. Paramugari Terlampau
d. Parameswara
e. Parang Kontot

2. Pada tahun 1771, seorang penjelajah Inggeris telah tiba di sebuah kawasan yang dikenali sebagai New Hebrides, siapakah dia? (In the year 1771, one Englishman landed on New Hebrides, who was he?)
a. Kapten Hook
b. Kapten Crook
c. Kapten Cook
d. Kapten Cool
e. Kapten Boleh

3. Siapakah yang pernah menjadi pemerintah Sarawak?(Who had been Resident of Sarawak?)
a. Brooke Shields
b. James Beruk
c. James Bond
d. Sapok Biki
e. James Brooke

4. Siapakah yang membuka Pulau Pinang? (Who founded Penang Island?)
a. Torch Light
b. Traffic Light
c. Francisca Peters
d. Light and Easy
e. Francis Light

5. Salah seorang pahlawan melayu terbilang? (Select one Malay warrior of eminence)
a. Tuk Janggut
b. Tuk Misai
c. Tuk Sideburn
d. Tuk Misai A Galak
e. Tuk Bulu Hidung

6. Pahlawan Melayu di Pahang? (Malay Warrior in Pahang?)
a. Mat Kilau
b. Mat Silau
c. M Daud Kilau
d. Mat Sentul
e. Mat Rempit

7. Siapakah Residen Inggeris di Negeri Perak yang dibunuh oleh Datuk Maharajalela?
a. Jawa Jerongos. (Who was the British Resident in Perak killed by Datuk Maharajalela?)
b. J.W.W Birch
c. Jay Jay
d. J.W.Marriot
e. Jawa Rangers

8. Negara manakah yang menjajah Tanah Melayu selepas Portugis? (Which country colonized Malay Peninsula after Portuguese?)
a. Ayam Belanda
b. Bela Anda
c. Blender
d. Belanda
e. Blunder

9. Apakah antara hantaran yang diminta Puteri Gunung Ledang kepada Sultan Melaka? (What gift was requested by Princess Gunung Ledang from Sultan of Malacca?)
a. 7 dulang hati nyamuk
b. 7 dulang tongkeng ayam
c. 7 dulang tahi hidung
d. 7 dulang tahi lalat
e. 7 dulang gigi arnab

10. Siapakah puteri Pahang yang mencintai Hang Tuah? (Who was the Pahang Princess Hang Tuah fell in love with?)
a. Tun Mahathir
b. Tan Tin Tun
c. Tun Tak Tahu Eja
d. Tun Teja
e. Arnold Susahanakeja

11. Siapakah puteri Negeri China yang berkahwin dengan Sultan Melaka? (Which was the Princess from China who married Sultan of Malacca?)
a. Puteri Hang Li Po
b. Puteri Kepala Hotak Hang!
c. Puteri Opah Hang!
d. Puteri Hang Go Poh
e. Puteri Hang Cing

12. Ikan apakah yang melanggar Singapura? (Which fish collided with Singapore?)
a. Ikan Bilis
b. Ikan Masin
c. Ikan Kembung Masak Asam
d. Ikan kekek mak iloi-iloi
e. Ikan Todak

13. Siapakah Ketua Kominis Malaya? (Who was the Head of the Malayan Communists Party?)
a. CIMB Bank
b. Chin Peng
c. Soh Chin Aun
d. Chim Pan Zee
e. Chin Chau

MAAF... ANDA GAGAL DISEBABKAN SENYUM SEMASA JAWAB...
(Sorry... you failed because you smiled while answering...)

NB. This is a joke, in case some students take this seriously!
Link

1 comment:

mangchikla said...

1,c.Paramugari Terlampau sounded kinky heheh

2.e.Kapten Boleh, in line with the current theme of 'Malaysia Boleh' actually 'Bo Liau'

3.a. Brooke Shields, hmmm can still visualise her swimming in her birtday suit

4.c. Francisca Peters, give a woman a chance

5.e. Tuk Bulu Hidung ( kanot komen man, nanti Perkasa hot on my tail)

6.e. Mat Rempit

7.a. Jawa Jerongos. Any idea what 'jerongos' means?

8.a. Ayam Belanda, rmeinded me of 'thanksgiving'

9.c. 7 dulang tahi hidung, hahah all the deposits free!

10.e. Arnold Susahanakeja, before he n that maid were an 'item'

11.e. Puteri Hang Cing, she didn't wear pampers, poor sultan akakakakakakakaaa

12.d. Ikan kekek mak iloi-iloi

13.a. CIMB Bank (clue, who's the head)

lariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ahahahahaha