How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Value in our 1 sen (cent) coins?

A couple of weeks ago I was unfortunate enough to get stung by both a bee and hornet while working in the garden. My arm swelled up so off to the doctor I went. The clinic gave me cream and an antihistamine.

The next day the swelling was getting progressively worse so off to my regular doctor I went. Infected arm - needed an antibiotic. What was interesting is what the Dr. told me.

The next time you get stung put a penny on the bite for 15 minutes. I thought, wow, next time (if there ever is one) I will try it.

I was helping my wife deadhead her flowers in the back yard and guess what, I got bitten again, two times by hornets on my left hand. I was ticked. I thought,
here I go again, off to the doctor for yet another antibiotic.

I then recalled what the doctors said and went into the house, got my money out, and taped two pennies to the bites on my hand and sat and sulked for 15

Guess what! The penny took the sting out of the bite immediately. I still wasn't sure what was going to happen.

The next morning I would only see the spot where he had got me. No redness, no swelling.

I just wanted to share this marvellous information in case any of you experience the same problem at your home. The Dr. said the copper in the penny somehow counteracts the bite.

I would never have believed it but it definitely does work for me.

~ from Beng

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Blind dwarf?

Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?

This blind dwarf seems to be in the process of finding out.

A: It's Braille for "suck here".

I beg your pardon?

This reminds me of this Teochew woman in Jalan Ipoh, KL, who actually asks for Rm1!This happened 12 years ago.

Then there was this man who saw my change (a few Rm1 and coins) on the table while I was at the same location (hawker site next to playground at 3rd mile, Jalan Ipoh) who told me that he could have taken them instead of asking!

Recently, in Pusing, Perak, I was most amused when this woman who used to beg with her son (still do, even though he is now almost an adult), came with a cute looking pedigree dog (looks like, but bigger than a Chihuahua). The coffee-shop proprietor told me that she paid Rm500 for it! He added that when her son was a baby, her collections in KL, ran into thousands a month!

Anyway, these days, most people refuse to give any because of the bad publicity, especially those who collect big portions of commission for charity and those who pretend to be monks or nuns. There are those who feel good after giving, in which case, it suits both giver and taker!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Dilbert on Albert

After getting even with Steven, it is now Albert’s turn. My good friend used to be called by that name…

Boss: “Dilbert, meet Albert. He’s old. But I like to call him experienced.”
“I’m trying to win an award for being one of the best places to work if you have one foot in the grave.”

Albert: “I’m only 54. I ran a marathon yesterday.”

Boss: “I asked the cafeteria to stock up on food that’s easy to gum.”

Boss: “Asok. This is Albert. He’s old but we need to call him mature.”
“Explain to him what the computers are. But don’t let him touch anything. The elderly like to fiddle.”

Albert: “I was chip designer in my last job.”

Boss: “Really? Chocolate or poker?”

An advertisement in the Atlanta Journal attracts...

"SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I'm a very goodlooking girl who LOVES to play. I love taking long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying in front of the fireplace. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.

I'll be at the front door when you come home from work; wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy. I'll be waiting....."

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador Retriever.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Wake me up before you go - go ...

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 6 minutes late.

On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round.

Following Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 6 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golf's left handed, and wins the round.

This continues for the next few weeks, with George always saying that he may be 6 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was.

They said, "George, every Saturday you say you may be six minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?"

George replies, "Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed."

"Well," one of the employees questioned, "What happens if she is laying on her back?"

George replies, "Then I am 6 minutes late."

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Suggested design for hand luggage?

Guaranteed to delay your flight!

Binary logic

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter 'penis.'

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.

She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

True love?

A man had two great tickets for the Football Cup final.

As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says, "the seat is empty".

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA cup final, the biggest sporting event in the year, and not use it?"

He says, "well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been together since we got married".

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at her funeral".

Monday, November 13, 2006

Denial of the power of prayer?

The story is told of a man who got a permit to open the first tavern in a small town. The members of a local church were strongly opposed to the bar, so they began to pray that God would intervene.

A few days before the tavern was scheduled to open, lightning hit the structure and it burned to the ground. The people of the church were surprised but pleased- until they received notice that the would-be tavern owner was suing them.

He contended that their prayers were responsible for the burning of the building. They denied the charge.

At the conclusion of the preliminary hearing, the judge wryly remarked:

"At this point I don't know what my decision will be, but it seems that the tavern owner believes in the power of prayer and these church people don't."

Sign of the time

A suggested sign for JKR instead of the smiling cartoon figures used at North-South Expressway.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Prisoner in my own house

Gone are the days when I can just open the door and walk out to the garden or to open the gate to drive out a car.

Now I am being closely watched by canine and recently, feline police.

Our dogs look forward to their sugar-coated cream crackers every morning. In a way, it is easy for us to lead them to the next house compound through a little gate before I drive out the car.

With the addition of two new kittens, I have to deal with them in the right order ie. get the dogs over to the next door before giving some food or milk to the kittens. Animals get jealous easily over attention and food. No matter how close they are, they tend to fight over food.

Every morning, as I walk down the wooden steps, I can see the dogs and kittens waiting eagerly for me to open the door. They are so impatient that I have to get the food ready in the right order without having to go back into the house for it. After the dogs and cats, I will feed the fishes, which are relatively undemanding. Still, I can sense their anticipation when I go near the aquarium or the big oval-shaped clay container.

I noticed the kittens would wait at a corner of the house where they can see both the side door and the kitchen window for my action. They can reach the back door before I can count to 5 because of the short-cuts under the cupboards and cabinets outside the house.

I told my wife, it is like having to pay tolls just to get out of the house! But in a way, it is nice to feel we are wanted too, though it is more for the food than anything! The male kitten, which used to be overly scared of me, is now the more affectionate one. He will play with my feet or sometimes, just stretch himself on the floor, expecting me to touch him. My wife thinks he is more intelligent as he knows the boundary when we are in the house with the door open. Whereas, the female kitten will just rush in given the slightest chance.

I have just added 5 little local koi (carp) measuring about 3 inches each, which I bought for Rm10. I have asked the pet-shop man and he thinks I can have them in the big “harmtan kong” without a pump and filter. With this type of fish, we have to think of the size they get to after a few months. If I can rear them so easily, then it really took me a number of years experimenting with different types like gold fish, before I realized it! Without great expense, I get to enjoy a few koi swimming in the container. It makes no difference to me whether they are the expensive kind.

Before this, I was contented with some swordfish and guppies, which require minimum attention. I was telling myself that I get to enjoy fishes swimming though on a much smaller scale.

In our rat race, I think those who spend time to enjoy what they have, lead a more meaningful life than those who spend time acquiring wealth but have no time to stop and enjoy what they have.

Three of our neighbours rear chickens in their backyards and we would be telling a lie if we say we are happy about it, with the bird flu and so on. They are being selfish in the sense that they built a fence within their backyards putting the chickens away from their own houses. The chickens are nearer us than them! Our kitchen is only ten feet away from the chickens but fortunately, we are a level higher.

I am used to the cockcrows at all times of the day, not necessarily only in the morning. But it was when my remisier and other friends told me about the crows that I realized I cannot pretend to be living in a classy location!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

London: The Melting Pot

Traveling around the city of London on a particular Saturday afternoon, one realizes the difficulties of finding an appropriate parking space. There are an abundance of lots available, but which average working class income earner would consider £1 for 15 minutes? The obvious question would then come into play, how long would a group of travelers consider staying within the limits of central London with their car considering you can have a day pass for £4.90 per person which virtually offers you a selection of the entire underground network as well as the buses all that come under the authority of the Transport for London. Makes more sense?

Under this system one can see the monopoly that the TfL has created through its Oyster Card. Currently there are talks of increasing the prices of single travel from £3 to £4 so as to increase the usage of Oyster Cards but the darker side of the topic would be the long term effect of more TfL staff being ousted from their jobs as the system becomes fully automated? Currently with the opening of entry from citizens of East Europe to the UK, London has undergone another round of transformation with increase in unemployment and social economic drawbacks.

Previously employees in any of the Chinese restaurants across London would easily earn something close to £300/week on average, but with the inclusion of a new pocket of fresh, eager and willing to work for much less, employees, there has been somewhat a backlash on the earning power. Now some of the employees of the above mentioned restaurants still work their lives away at 60+ hours per week for a measly £180/week.

With the influx of workforce so has there been a huge increase in demand for accommodation throughout Central and many parts of Greater London. Yet there still seems to be stories sold throughout the population in Malaysia about how much a better life one can expect coming to work in the UK. No doubt the pound has strengthened much against the RM but does it justify the logic of transporting oneself into the melting pot? If the government of UK were to be believed, new countries whose citizens will be accepted into the workforce would face lengthy procedures or qualification checks before being allowed into the country. If that happens, then what of those who travel from Malaysia?

Even being here in the country, after a lot of hassle, how would one open a bank account? Without a bank account, one’s existence in the UK is equivalent to one without a right arm. To be qualified to open a bank account, one needs proof of address, which most likely means a bill of council tax, electricity or water bills and even BT telecom bill with the applicants name on it. And along with a passport with permit to entry into the UK which obviously is the main failure once one decides to jump the plane?.

Failing these procedures, one would be without a bank account and then where would that person store his/her hard earned £? With all the effects of staff being laid off, entry of cheap labour from the Eastern European cousins and illegal immigrants being squeezed by both sides of their terrible predicament, one can imagine how much change London would be facing in terms of the social and economic welfare of its residents.

It is without doubt that London is becoming a melting pot.