An invention to end all inventions..
A place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
A vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
A job where you just wanted pay checks.
Something inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Usually a sign of bad memory.
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
A person no different from the rest … except that he/she got caught.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
A place where success comes before work.
Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Future tense of Marriage.
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
A kind of fish so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
The name men give to their mistakes.
A banker provided by nature.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Art of making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
A state of mind when something isn't what it used to be.
A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Always borrow money from one. He won't expect it back.
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
A place where parents pay and children play.
To be sure of hitting one, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
A battle which does not determine who is right - only who is left.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.