I entered ten puns in a contest, and I thought I would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I thought about starting a conversation about nuts, but then I thought, "Screw it".
An appeals court has upheld a ban on pitbulls. That's another victory in the war on terrier.
The man who survived both pepper spray and mustard gas is now well seasoned.
The sign at the rehab center said "Keep Off The Grass".
Conjunctivitis.com is a site for sore eyes.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
The horse got run over by a car. It's now in stable condition.
When a woman sees her first grey hair, she usually thinks she'll dye.
Her boyfriend had a wooden leg, until she broke it off.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
When the waiter spilled a drink on his shirt, he said, "this one is on me."
The cannibals ate the missionary and got a taste of religion.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp fence. Police are looking into it.
A rubber band gun was taken away in algebra class as it was a weapon of math disruption.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
The store promised a free abacus with a purchase, but I wouldn't count on it.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
I went to the Cashew factory last night. It was nuts!
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