A far-fetched story, a parody, yet some of us would feel there is some truth in some aspects rather than all together. Have a good laugh...
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark. "Noah!" he roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord", begged Noah, "but things have changed. First I needed to have a BUMIPUTRA PARTNER who is linked to UMNO.
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark. "Noah!" he roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord", begged Noah, "but things have changed. First I needed to have a BUMIPUTRA PARTNER who is linked to UMNO.
Then I needed a building permit from DBKL and also have to pay under-counter money to get the permit. I'd been arguing with the BOMBA inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours complained to newspapers of the height of the ark I was going to build and the next day it was in the headlines claiming that I've violated the neighbourhood building by-laws.
"Then there was a stop work order even before I could start work. The MACC arrested me over some disbursements. I talked to a lawyer who looks like Amitabh Bachan, talks like him, acts like him but is not him ...said he knows the Chief Justice and the Prime Minister Apa nama ... and can clear my name."
"After clearing my name ...I had again to go to the DBKL Appeals Board for a decision to allow me to build the Ark. The government after approving the plans said I must use only SIRIM approved goods and must buy from their list of suppliers which are few times more expensive than the local chinaman hardware shop."
"Then the TNB and JPJ demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. SUKHAM and the JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA said there's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the orang utan. I tried to convince SUKHAM and JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA that I needed the wood to save the orang hutan – but they said no go. When I started gathering the animals, JAKIM and an Animal Rights group sued me. JAKIM said I cannot put the chickens and the pigs next to each other as it WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED HALAL and The Animal Rights group insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then JABATAN KERJA RAYA and JABATAN KAJIAN dan GALIAN ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they had conducted An Environmental Impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many bumiputra contractors I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. JABATAN IMMIGRASI and RELA are checking the status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can't use my sons - that's child labor ! They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience."
"Then there was a stop work order even before I could start work. The MACC arrested me over some disbursements. I talked to a lawyer who looks like Amitabh Bachan, talks like him, acts like him but is not him ...said he knows the Chief Justice and the Prime Minister Apa nama ... and can clear my name."
"After clearing my name ...I had again to go to the DBKL Appeals Board for a decision to allow me to build the Ark. The government after approving the plans said I must use only SIRIM approved goods and must buy from their list of suppliers which are few times more expensive than the local chinaman hardware shop."
"Then the TNB and JPJ demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. SUKHAM and the JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA said there's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the orang utan. I tried to convince SUKHAM and JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA that I needed the wood to save the orang hutan – but they said no go. When I started gathering the animals, JAKIM and an Animal Rights group sued me. JAKIM said I cannot put the chickens and the pigs next to each other as it WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED HALAL and The Animal Rights group insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then JABATAN KERJA RAYA and JABATAN KAJIAN dan GALIAN ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they had conducted An Environmental Impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many bumiputra contractors I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. JABATAN IMMIGRASI and RELA are checking the status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can't use my sons - that's child labor ! They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience."
"As I started to CLEAR THE AREA TO BUILD THE ARK, gangsters came and demanded protection money. When I complained to the POLIS... the next day, a policeman came in full uniform, but unfortunately he also demanded protection money.
"Every department I turned to is asking what they call “duit kopi". I calculated that if I had to pay all the so called “duit kopi” and give the donations, the cost to build the ARK will be 20 times higher…so I refused to give them the “duit kopi" as I am faithful to you Oh Lord !
"Suddenly, the Jabatan HASIL seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. I have just been released from ISA. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies above cleared, and the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world my Lord?"
"Every department I turned to is asking what they call “duit kopi". I calculated that if I had to pay all the so called “duit kopi” and give the donations, the cost to build the ARK will be 20 times higher…so I refused to give them the “duit kopi" as I am faithful to you Oh Lord !
"Suddenly, the Jabatan HASIL seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. I have just been released from ISA. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies above cleared, and the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world my Lord?"
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