Siti's lesson in the City in Malaysia...

A made-up letter and reply (maybe, a parody) to illustrate the Indonesian maids' problems?

From mysinchew.com:

Siti’s lesson – Tay Tian Yan

FEB 28 - Dear Mr Tay, I am an Indonesian maid. I heard the Malaysian government has ruled that employers and their maids alike need to attend classes from now on. May I know what is it to be learned in these classes? What’s that for anyway?

Before we took up our jobs, we had learned the fundamental household skills. I don’t know what else I need to learn.

Of course, if I can get some allowances, plus some Bollywood movies to watch, while attending these classes, I think I’ll still be willing to go. Better still if l attend every day!

Yours, Siti.

Dear Siti,

There are certain things far more complicated than household chores.

For example, how to get along with people, how to assimilate into the society ... these are not easy things, especially in Malaysia.

To make you attend the classes is to give you a better understanding of this country and its people, in particular your employer.

It is not too much to ask of you to attend a half-day course (but you should forget about additional allowances).

I’m not sure of the course curriculum, but I can try to draft out the main points of the course:

1. There are differences between a washing machine and a drying machine. A washing machine is to wet the dry clothes while the drying machine is to dry up the wet clothes. This shouldn’t be too difficult for you to understand, I guess.

In front of both a TV and a microwave is a glass panel, but they are very different things. You can’t use a microwave unless you open the front glass door, but if you try to dismantle the glass panel on the TV, you’ll have real big problems!

2. Malaysian employers are neither vampires nor bats, so there’s no point making them a cup of “Jakarta coffee” (used sanitary napkins should go where they should belong, not end up in your employer’s coffee cup).

3. Malaysian kids are not orangutans, so you should not snatch them up and swing them when you are not in the right mood. Some of the Malaysian old folks might have already been suffering from Alzheimer’s and clumsiness, but that does not mean they do not have feelings, and can be manipulated by their maids.

4. Malaysian grass-cutters are not Shah Rukh Khans, and you must not try to seduce or be seduced by them, thinking that you can elope with them. I’m quite sure when one starts accosting you, he might have done the same to twenty other Indon maids!

The lawn in front of my house is always overgrown with weeds, and this should serve to illustrate my point.

Of course, to be fair to you, your employer, who doesn’t seem to know much about you, should also be sent to the classes.

This course should enlighten them on the following:

1. Indon maids are one kind of human beings, and they are not much different from us. Don’t ever think you can make unrestricted, round-the-clock use of them, paying only RM500 a month.

2. CCTVs are not a problem, but they should be placed at appropriate places, not the maid’s room or toilet. That, we don’t call surveillance, but peeping.

3. All kinds of dangerous sex tricks such as wax dripping, pulling nipples and scalding of private parts should strictly remain the special preferences of the employer and his lover, which no one should bother with anyway. But to inflict those things on the maid will end you up in a jail plus caning.

4. The way you treat your maid will most possibly be reciprocated. Moreover, the maid is always in the dark, and you’ll never be able to win her if you really want to play the game.

Siti, everything will be peaceful and all right if both you and your employer attend the classes.

Make some money and go back, and start your own venture. As for Bollywood, I don’t think it’s for you!
(By TAY TIAN YAN /Translated by DOMINIC LOH/Sin Chew Daily)

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