Not all British are like James Bond

Some mothers do have them. Britain has its fair share of them. My comments in brackets.

Some of the most ridiculous complaints made by British holidaymakers to their travel agent, taken from recent research by Thomas Cook and ABTA (the Association of British Travel Agents).

"The beach was too sandy." (Too real for comfort. Can’t blame them. Some prefer to swim in hotel pool and get a tan to show envious friends when they return.)

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. (Too shy to ask which might show his ignorance of local food. But this is Australia...unless you were in one of the many exotic restaurants run by 'foreigners')

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women." (Obviously from an insecure wife. Give him a break and a chance to compare.)

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake." (Cheap labour does not go to the extent of being able to make genuine stuff at a fraction of the recommended price.)

"No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled." (Which planet are you from?)

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home." (…and you did not find out why?)

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
(Hear, hear, for those who are trying hard to get pregnant. Maybe you should try a double bed instead.)

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." (Presumably, at the same price? Do you know 1+1+1 = 3?)

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying
here?" (Hairdressers used to be head-hunters, I suppose, and that’s why they are not allowed, trainees included.)

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners." (Been in UK too long? Never been abroad, I suppose.)

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning." (Poor thing. Have you ever thought of not having what they are waiting for, instead?)

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." (I suppose, suing for misrepresentation came to your mind, didn’t it?)

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite." (In the tropics, those tiny insects could kill too.)

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." (With that kind of details expected, your brochure would come in the form of telephone directories!)

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." (You complained despite knowing the meaning of ‘siesta’? Still expecting everything to be the same when abroad?)

"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." (Find a familiar place, preferably near you, and you are unlikely to get strange foods all over the place.)

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels." (It did not occur to you to ask before you go?)