A cynical interviewer...

When a job applicant meets a cynical interviewer (latter’s thoughts in brackets):

Interviewer: Tell me more about yourself and why do you think we should employ you.

Applicant: “I have good communication skills.”

Interviewer: (So he spends lots of time chatting with colleagues and on the phone.)

Applicant: “I consider myself an average employee.”

Interviewer: (Such modesty! I think this guy is not too bright)

Applicant: “I would say I am active socially”

Interviewer: (So he goes out often and drinks a lot with his buddies)

Applicant: “My family is just as active socially”

Interviewer: (Not a homebody for sure, and spouse drinks, too)

Applicant: “I have always been an independent worker”

Interviewer: (In other words, nobody knows what he does)

Applicant: “I pay meticulous attention to detail”

(Oh no, not one with OCB, a nit picker!)

Applicant: “I believe I have exceptionally good judgment”

(Well, you have been lucky so far, haven’t you?)

Applicant: “Friends say I have a keen sense of humour”

(So you know a lot of corny jokes and forward them to your friends, on company time)

“I am career minded”

(Wouldn’t mind apple-polishing and likely to be a back stabber then)

“The one thing you can be sure of, I am very loyal”

(Or is it because you can't get a job anywhere else?)

Actually, the above made-up interview was in draft form for a couple of days. It is such a coincidence when I read today’s Star on Najib’s criteria for his second in command:

“The Government must cultivate the trust and confidence of the people. One way to get the people to trust us is by being transparent and to tell the truth. And I am committed to doing that,” he said.
Earlier in his speech, Najib stressed that it was important for a “chief executive officer” of an organisation to pick the right man to help him steer the organisation.
He explained that the common factors a boss looked at when choosing a man for a key position were ability, acceptability, integrity and loyalty.
“For me, integrity should be put first among the factors followed by ability. But sometimes in practice, it is more prone to put loyalty first.
“That is so because we might feel compatible with a person who is loyal to us. Nevertheless, if that person is loyal but without integrity and no ability, he can bring the downfall of the boss,” he said.

Give me credibility first before I can take his word on those criteria. Otherwise, just like the cynical interviewer, my response would be as follows:

Ability (able to carry out his dirty work?)
Acceptability (acceptable to him first, then Umno leadership, but never the people)
Integrity (his own version, not Transparency International or the universally acceptable one)
Loyalty (blind one at that, at all times, at all costs)