How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Why some smug students failed in exams...

I am sure we have come across students who thought they have done well, yet failed in the examinations. We have also come across those who expected the worst, yet obtained excellent results.

If I were to be given the task of setting questions, I would love to trap those smug students with the following examples as red herrings in objective answers to choose from (these are presumed to be actual written answers by students):

Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%

Q. In which battle did Tipu Sultan died?
A. His last battle.

Q. Where was the Declaration of Independance Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.

Q. Ganga flows in which state?
A. Liquid.

Q. What's the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.

Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.

Did the student give any wrong answer??

Q: What does terminal illness mean? A: When you become ill at the airport.
Q: What is a plasmid? A: a high definition tv.
Q: Explain homeostasis. A: It is when you stay at home all day and don't go out.
Q: Explain genome. A: abbreviation of gender and gnome.
Q: Explain momentum. A: a brief moment.
Q: How can we prove that radiation-treated food is safe? A: by eating some.
Q: What does a transformer do? A: It can go from robot to sports car in three seconds.
Q: Give a reason why people would want to live near a power line. A: You get your electricity faster.
Q: Change 7/8 into a decimal. A: 7.8
Q: To change centimeters to meters you... A: take out the centi.
Q: What is conditional probability? A: maybe, maybe not.
Q: What is the splitting formula? A: boy meets girl; boy meets another girl; girl finds out about other girl = the splitting formula.
Q: What is a random variable? A: Someone with multiple personalities.
Q: What is a discrete random variable? Give an example. A: It is a person that hides at a corner at parties. Similar to the wallpaper but a bit more unpredictable after a few drinks.
Q: Explain the term wholesaler. A: Someone who sells you whole items, eg whole cake.
Q: What guarantees might a mortgage company insist on when you want to buy a house? A: They may check to see whether you are well-endowed before allowing the purchase.
Q: What happens during a census? A: During the census, a man goes from door to door and increases the population.
Q: What is a computer virus? A: an STD. A systematically transmitted disease.
Q: Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone system? A: It doesn't come with a chair.
Q: What is hacking? A: a really bad cough.
Q: What is a network? A: When you chat to people you don't like in order to try and get a job.
Q: What does the phrase case study mean? A: It is the process whereby you sit and stare at your suitcase before you go on a trip but not knowing what to pack.
Q: Who said I think Therefore I Am? A: I did.
Q: What is pastoral farming? A: It's a farm run by reverends.
Q: What does lava mean? A: a pre-pubescent caterpillar.
Q: Which artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red Seas? A: The Sewage Canal.
Q: What was the main industry of Persia? A: Cats.
Q: The race of people known as Malays come from which country? A: Malaria.
Q: Name the smaller rivers that run into the Nile. A: Juveniles.
Q: What are rift valleys? A: Valleys fallen out after argument.
Q: Why was the Berlin Wall built? A: Germany was competing with China.
Q: Explain autocracy. A: Country with lots of cars.
Q: Upon ascending the throne, the first thing that Queen Elizabeth II did was to... A: Sit down.
Q: What was the biggest threat to world peace in the 1980s? A: Heavy metal rock music...because it was very loud and noisy.
Q: What is having only one spouse called? A: Monotony.
Q: What were Jesus' closest group of followers known as? A: The Decibels.
Q: State two major world religions. A: The Force in Star Wars, and football.
Q: What is a pilgrimage? A: It is when lots of people wander off in the same direction for no apparent reason.
Q: Name the successor of the First Roman Emperor. A: The Second Roman Emperor.
Q: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death? A: Suspicious ones.
Q: Name one of Abraham Lincoln's greatest achievements. A: Having his face carved in rock.


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