I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
Then I thought of walking which is simple and does not cost anything, but I was apprehensive because...
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
You see, I have a family history...
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
Moreover, I might have to think of having to increase my nest egg...
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month. (In other words, I need to save more to take care of the extra months I gather from walking.)
I am trying to think of a good reason...
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
There are advantages of walking which I would recommend to some people...
For instance, I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ('Take a hike' comes to mind)
To overcome my dislike for exercise, I have to cheer myself, like...
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Sometimes, I wonder why people take so much trouble just to exercise, after all...
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she?'
I know I have done a lot of exercise in the last few years... 'just getting over the hill'.
I would tend to agree with the suggestion that 'It's all in the mind' and I have a theory that...
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND if everything else failed...
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
Why not join Bobby McFerrin and sing...'Don't worry, be Happy!'
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
There are advantages of walking which I would recommend to some people...
For instance, I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ('Take a hike' comes to mind)
To overcome my dislike for exercise, I have to cheer myself, like...
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Sometimes, I wonder why people take so much trouble just to exercise, after all...
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she?'
I know I have done a lot of exercise in the last few years... 'just getting over the hill'.
I would tend to agree with the suggestion that 'It's all in the mind' and I have a theory that...
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND if everything else failed...
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
Why not join Bobby McFerrin and sing...'Don't worry, be Happy!'
(Based on some jokes, rearranged, and words in italics added by me to make up a story)
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