How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Chin Chai (Anything will do) vs Pah Pai (Fussy)

Raja Petra's parody of a Malay Muslim in a Chinese restaurant (unlikely). This is not a typical Chinese restaurant because of the wild and domesticated animals mentioned (banned in Malaysia, but more openly sold in other Asian countries). I would say he added them for effect...

Are you ready to order, sir?”
Yes. What is the speciality of the house?”
Our deep-fried roast pork skin is the talk of the town.”
No, no pork. I am a Muslim. I don’t eat pork.”
Okay. No pork then. Why not try our duck cooked in wine?
That is also our speciality.”
No, no wine also. Muslims can’t take liquor.”
 Well, the duck won’t taste as nice cooked in Coca-Cola.
Okay, our other speciality is monkey brain. Ours is the best outside Hong Kong.”
Monkey brain?”
That’s right. We clamp a live monkey in that hole in the middle of the table. Then we slice open the skull and pour brandy into the skull after which we light it up and fry the brain while the monkey struggles and squeals. Oh, I forgot, you don’t take liquor.”
It’s not only the liquor. I also don’t eat monkeys, especially the brains of live monkeys, fried or otherwise.”
 Alright. Do you eat dogs then?”
No, no dogs.”
Okay, then I take it you don’t eat cats either.”
No cats.”
Try our snake then. We slit the snake from head to tail and garnish it with a special…”
No, no snake.”
Anteater? No.”
 You said no pork. But now it looks like no pork and hundreds of other things as well. This is going to go on forever. Why not just tell me what you can eat. That would be easier and faster.”
Okay. I can eat beef, lamb and chicken.”
Alright. Our sizzling beef is the best in town. Or you can try our steamed chicken or charcoaled lamb. Or try all three.”
I’ll try your steamed chicken.”
Okay, half or quarter chicken?”
Half should be okay. But is it halal chicken?”
It is the normal chicken with wings and feathers.”
No, I mean is it properly slaughtered?”
Of course. We never cook the chicken while it is still alive. We kill it first.”
I mean, how do you kill it?”
We cut of its head with a chopper.”
Is it done the Muslim way?”
The Muslim way?”
Yes, with prayers.”
The chickens can’t pray.”
Not the chickens, the person who kills the chickens. Do they pray as they kill the chicken?”
I don’t think so. Most times they are listening to music on their iPod.”
Oh, then it is not halal. I suppose the beef and lamb would be the same then.
Maybe I will just order the fish.”
Okay, the fish then. You have no problems how the fish is killed?”
No, no problems. But hold on. How do you cook it?”
Steamed, fried, any way you like.”
No, I mean do you cook it in the same pots and pans that you cook the pork and all those other things.”
You don’t have separate pots and pans for the fish?”
Oh, then it would be contaminated by the pork.”
If that is a problem I can always serve the fish raw, something like Japanese Sushi.”
No, it won’t taste so nice. Maybe I will just have the vegetables, raw, not cooked.”
 Okay. But why did you not just go to the vegetarian restaurant next door then? It looks like it is not just no pork but no everything other than vegetables.”
Yes, I suppose it is not so much what I don’t want but what I do want, which is almost nothing.”


No comments: