The cherry tree story with a Malaysian spin...

Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. The story goes that George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe.
His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth:

'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'

Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians (names deleted) may have reacted to the question :

'I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.'

'I swear that I have never MET that tree.'

'...but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree?'

'Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.'

'Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.'

'It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think it’s me.'

'I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.'

'The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.'

'I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.'

'The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down and besides there were unauthorised signboards put up around the tree.'

'I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.'

'I chopped it because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.'

'We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees , pear trees and all these other foreign trees.'

'You must see the bigger picture, and I needed to test my new axe, so you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.'

'I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.'

'The bigfoot creature did it.'

'The big monkey did it'.

'There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees... Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.'

'I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?'

'Cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford!'

'Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now...'

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