NATIONAL
This is Malaysia - and if you are a Malaysian, you should know:
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto
NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD:
Maggi Mee
NATIONAL BREAKFAST:
Nasi Lemak
NATIONAL LUNCH:
Nasi Ayam
NATIONAL SUPPER:
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam
NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye. Sometimes, bought Fishermen's Friend by mistake.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, air-cond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven ' t remove
make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara ", depressed, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all "dried up".
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :
Moh Fah Kor.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
NATIONAL Rice Cooker
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING NICE:
Running For UMNO during elections, especially a BUY Election. Now showing in Kuala Terengganu.
NATIONAL ANSWER FOR "WHERE ARE YOU"?:
-on the way.
NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE:
-10 minutes
NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE:
Petrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naik ler... inclusive of chicken meat? :)
NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE:
Still cheaper than other country la....
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:
there was accident on the other side of the road.. of course must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypoh lah! If possible, get the car registration number for Empat Ekor lottery.
NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION :
'I got some work to do la..u all go first la..'
NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS:
An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased palms and poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever. Just to please you, we will set up a committee to investigate (hopefully by then you would have forgotten or at least cool down a bit).
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:
None. We were misquoted. (because they were so used to telling lies?)
NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:
Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?! (If people say increase, must let them increase! You think this road belongs to my father?)
NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROM FOREIGN CAR COMPANIES:
We're about to unveil another badly designed low budget car, which, coupled with our notorious customer service and corporate mismanagement, will see us bankrupt again within the next 5 years. And so we have absolutely no need for the Germans and their silly car-making and market-positioning knowhow, thank you very much.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHAT EVER QUEUE):
..... everybody doing that lah............
NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:
Relax ler... government will give discount one of these days
NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION):
...give them minum kopi lar......(just treating them to a drink of coffee only)
Added:
NATIONAL BLAME
If someone invited you for a wedding dinner, you would sigh, 'another summon' but if he did not invite you, you would claim he looked down on you.
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