How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Never argue with an idiot, otherwise people won't know which one of you is the idiot.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appears bright - until you hear them speak.

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Monday, March 26, 2012

Fart is best speech topic for originality?



Seriously, it is very interesting. I have typed out the speech because the image cannot be enlarged to be readable:

Farts

Hi, today I am going to talk to you about farts.

Some people think farts are rude and some people think farts are funny, like me.

I think farts are hilarious.

Farting is a fact of life. Everybody farts.

The Queen farts, superstars fart and I fart.

We will fart until the day we die. And apparently a person can still fart after death.

Do you know why we fart?

Fratulence, wind or farts, whatever you like to call them, is the production of the mixture of gases in the digestive tract, that are by-products of the digestive process.

The average person farts about 14 times a day, which produces about half a litre of fart gas. (Personally I think I fart more than 14 times a day).

Farts are made up of the following:

Nitrogen, the main ingredient making up 59%; next behind is hydrogen at 21%; 9% carbon dioxide; 7% methane; 3% oxygen; and 1% other stuff.

But listen to this – hydrogen suphide is the compound that makes them stink!

Here are the top 10 farters:

1st Termites
2nd Camels
3rd Zebras and my pony Free
4th Sheep
5th Cows
6th Elephants
7th Labradors and retrievers
8th Humans (vegetarians)
9th Humans (non-vegetarians)
10th Gerbils (also known as the desert rat)

If you are going to fart, do not sit by flames, because farts are very flammable.

Also, they can come motoring out of your bottom at 10 kmh.

No wonder some of you have holes in your undies!

Please do not panic if you find yourself trapped in a small space like a closet, as it is impossible to suffocate in your own farts. Unless Ben (my little brother) is there with you!

Anyway next time you fart, don't think it is rude. Just know that everybottie, oops, I mean, everybody farts.

Thank you for listening to my fartastic speech.

Here's a little poem that I'd like to share with you:

“A fart can be useful
It gives the body ease.
It warms the bed in winter
And suffocates the fleas.”



Link

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