Perks of being a senior citizen

Thank God we still have some perks for just being old!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you, unless you are very rich.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first, as even criminals would avoid being charged with murder in case you die of a heart attack.

3. People call at 9.00p.m. and ask, " Did I wake you?"

4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

6. Things you buy now won't wear out.

7. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.

8. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

12. You admire women in coffee shops who you would not have taken a second look when young.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.