Let's face it

Life is sexually transmitted. In case you feel low on achievement, just remember you were once the fastest sperm.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Don't worry about old age... it doesn't last that long.

Meanwhile...
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years... not with jokes like this one...

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
And although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together, with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks.
But one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says,
'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'




The guy says,
'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a Duck.

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