What is good for the goose is good for the gander

Goose (pl.geese) is a large web-footed bird, the size of which is between a duck and a swan. It is also known as a female and its male is known as gander.

Its plural, geese, should not be confused with 'geezer' which is a slang for old person or creature, not a nice word to call an old man like me.

I am helping to pass this message from an article forwarded by Bayi, which would put off (it put me off, even though I have never tried it) more people from eating this, just like the campaign against having shark's fin soup.

Hopefully, both goose and gander can live happily ever after!


Foie Gras...let's stop eating this dish!
Foie Gras means "Fat Liver".

It's a luxury menu item that originates from France. But this dish comes from FORCE FEEDING a goose to make it develop a FATTY LIVER.

Let's see the source of this "wonderful dish".

The cages enclosing the geese are so small that they force the geese to stay in one position to avoid using energy, thus converting all food into fat.

They are unable to resist any forced feeding. Their life is a never-ending tale of sadness.

They are forced to eat until they are dead or until their bodies are bloated with food up to their throat.

Not only their mouths hurt. Their throats also hurt. Their stomachs ache from all the food they don't need to eat. Their legs are bloated with fat; they are not allowed to sleep and they are allowed no exercise at all. They never get to see the skies or the rivers, their natural habit!

Stop being selfish. Stop eating Foie Gras!!!
STOP THE DAILY TORTURE AND CRUELTY TO THE POORGEESE.

STOP THE DEMAND AND THE SUPPLY WILL END.
AND THE TORTURE AND SUFFERING WILL END.


A metal pipe is passed through the throat to the goose's stomach ...even if it does not want to eat anything.

The geese are forced to eat.. even if they do not desire to. This will make the liver bigger and fatter.

The sadness is reflected in their eyes.


Their legs are bloated from standing all the time. There is no opportunity to sleep because they will be caught to be forced-fed again.

As you can see... the food is overflowing the mouth!

Those that survive have inflamed anuses and there's blood in their shit!

And all the cruelty is to get the beautiful and white liver that becomes unusually big like this....
They come as liver - canned from abroad.

After the pictures, would you eat foie gras again?
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Why I think Pakatan can win in Bagan Pinang

BN's choice, or rather the lack of, of Isa as candidate is good news for Pakatan. You cannot fool the people that someone considered guilty of money politics by the party is clean. He is lucky he was not charged in the court. He can probably buy votes but the voters are unlike before. They can still have the money but vote for the party of their choice.

The Election Commission has to be more transparent because there are now more and more people watching their every move.

I believe those in the army (postal votes) would vote for the opposition if given the chance to vote without supervision.

The recent cow-head incident which required the banning of two video clips in Malaysiakini and the banning of the matter when campaigning showed the extent of the harm it had caused and the fear of backlash from the public in general, the Hindus in particular. Damage control and sweet talking with new political leaders cannot undo what had been done. Only the leaders would benefit from PM's deals while the majority would still resent and vote against them.

The increasing use and effectiveness of the internet in campaigning. There is already one website http://baganutama.blogspot.com/ set up by Pakatan supporters specially for this by-election, besides Zorro unmasked and his Special Bunch with their increasing experience and expertise.

NST Online:

PORT DICKSON: Anyone bringing up the Shah Alam cow's head incident during the Bagan Pinang election campaign will be detained immediately and could face charges of inciting racial tensions.

The warning was made by Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister's Department Datuk T. Murugiah, who said that it applied to Barisan Nasional and the opposition.

"We will assign officers to keep tabs on all ceramah and other activities during the campaign and they will alert the police immediately if the issue is raised."

Murugiah is the deputy minister in charge of the National Unity and Integration Department.

"We want a clean and fair campaign and to ensure no racial or religious issues are raised to incite the people."

The BN is now on the defensive, after having lost 7 out of 8 by-elections. The only one, in Sarawak was not without controversies because of the lack of accessibility which transparency. The more anxious they are, the more it shows they are insecure. If they lose this election, they are unlikely to win the next general elections.

It is getting more and more ludicrous with the way our ministers are talking at us. Moorugiah appears not offended at all by the incident, and I believe using an Indian to make this statement would serve its purpose better than say, Hishamoodin, the one who added salt to injury.
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Too close for comfort...

this is the closest you can get...
Footballers do have a fear for free kicks...
It is obvious from her expression...
that it smells like durian (a British novelist described this king of local fruits as 'like having strawberry and cream next to a toilet)!

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Amid the crossfire of a cyber warfare

We tend to presume there is a war going on in cyberspace, where the governments of the more autocratic countries are trying their level best to curb dissent among their citizens which could dislodge them from power. China is known to be introducing ways and means of banning certain networking sites to prevent the spread of 'lies against the government' (a common expression), for instance. Singapore, too, must be doing so in their own ways. Malaysia, is not far behind, and in some ways, could even be worse, depending on how one views about what is going on here.

Raja Petra, the man who is synonymous with the well known website, Malaysia Today, has been described by some as the greatest influence on the political awakening which brought to the fore, the possibility of a viable, alternative government in place of Barisan Nasional.

He took pains to describe himself as an activist rather than a politician. He is not interested in the nitty gritty of being a Member of Parliament or a State Assemblyman, a position he could have had with his popularity. I believe he is such a free spirit that he cannot be a party man, bound by written as well as unwritten rules of a political party as well as what is expected of a politician. He is an asset to those in search of a clean and transparent government, regardless of political leanings.

His 'No holds barred' and 'Corridors of Power' columns in Malaysia Today carry news and gossips which are much sought after by those in search of alternative news as well as damning allegations against the powers that be which has got him in trouble. Though a fugitive, the columns continue to be published, much to the annoyance of the leadership, especially those affected by the allegations.

Known for 'shooting the messengers', our government has tried all sorts to curb the spread of 'lies against the leaders'. One way is to frustrate net surfers from accessing the site, which is more subtle than outright ban which goes against government's promise to keep the internet free from controls.

What happened to Malaysia Today

By Malaysia Today’s technical team

With so much confusion and speculation making its rounds about what is happening to Malaysia Today over more than a week, we are compelled to offer our explanation so that the record can be set straight. Only limited technical details will be mentioned to allow you to appreciate the scale of challenge the site is facing.

You may now be aware that the site has been up and down since Friday, 17 September 2009. This was due to malicious activities by those behind the effort to cripple Malaysia Today. This is just one of the many rounds of cyber-attacks that we atMalaysia Today have had to face for more than a year now.

Coincidentally, this latest round of attacks started immediately after RPK’s explosive expose two weeks ago on Tuesday regarding the Malaysian Cabinet's knowledge and 'approval' of the PKFZ scandal long before it became public knowledge. Suspicious activities against the site happened as early as Wednesday, but the first damage was done in the afternoon of Thursday, which brought the site down.

The site was quickly recovered and by 6.00pm we were up and running again although with some loss of data. The attack revolved around the long-time problem faced by the site - a rather old version of Joomla content management system and the use of third-party components.
Lack of resources (financial, manpower, etc.) has always been a challenge faced by Malaysia Today, which affected the maintenance and operations of the site. During the recovery process, we locked down the site to reduce the danger of further compromises.

The next wave of attacks came the following day on Friday. This time it was in a wave of DDoS traffic crippling one of our nodes at Singapore. The Singapore node operates with about 30Mbps of bandwidth, a luxury by Malaysian standards but far short if we need to match any serious DDoS attacks. The node was basically choked with illegitimate traffic. Typical of DDoS network attacks, the origin of the attacks is difficult to pinpoint and sometimes pointless as the attack agents/zombies are likely compromised systems themselves.

We then activated our resources at our US node to recover the site. The process required optimisation of the site to cope with demand. (The demand on the site seemed much higher, possibly due to the interest on the PKFZ expose.) Hence the intermittent site outage, due to either overloading or optimisation process.

Being a service provider of a larger scale and sophistication, the US node has a higher capability of sustaining the attacks. Still, the attacks persisted on a daily basis and we tried deflecting them as far as we could. The DDoS traffic we suffered ranged from 227Mbps to 835Mbps, a mammoth scale for anyone familiar with maintaining Internet sites. The attacker does not appear interested in defacing the website, typical of self-styled college hackers. He/she just deleted articles published onMalaysia Today, literally one by one, with the single-minded aim of erasing all the explosive stuff on the site.

Further complicating the trace of attacks is the use of free proxy servers, on random basis, by the attackers. This is an irony, as we have been advising our users to use such proxy servers to overcome any potential content filtering by the government.

All the malicious activities and behaviours bear the hallmark of professional, for-hire hackers. These are certainly no amateurs, judging from the persistence and frequency of the attacks, with the main objective of making the content ofMalaysia Today inaccessible to the public.

We believe that there is NO explicit blocking of the site by the various Malaysian ISPs. The inconsistent and intermittent accessibility of the site in the past many days are the result of the situation described above, although we must caution that it is almost impossible to detect any clandestine censorship.

The MCMC has in the past failed to silence Malaysia Today officially through blocking it in August 2008. Now, with even more revelations of various scandals of the government exposed through this site, we can't help but suspect that there is a more significant force, a hidden hand at play aimed at bringing down Malaysia Today.


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Even the Lord gave up...

understanding women.

A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said. 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said; 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel t would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought hard about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy'.

The Lord replied;

'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

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Happy and Healthy life style

A glimpse of the Tour de France:
http://cduktiv.multiply.com/video/item/113


After following the competitors of the recent Tour de France for a part of the race, a Malaysian is hooked. Took part in a recent race as marshall and then completing the race in Guildford. Uncle Fadzil must be envious!


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Tempted by the Apple?

Since Adam and Eve, the Apple symbolized an object of temptation. I am not particularly fond of it, more so now because of dental gaps, especially the lack of molars necessary for chewing. A friend sent me this information which might be useful for those avoiding genetically modified fruits and vegetables:

Conventional Fruit Labels
Four digits starting with 4

Organic Fruit Labels
Five digits and starts with number 9

Genetically Modified Fruits
Start with the digit 8

So next time you go shopping, remember these critical numbers and know how to avoid purchasing inorganic and GMO fruits. Shop Safe :)

This is good to know because stores aren't obligated to tell you if a fruit has been genetically
modified .)

So if you come across an apple in the store and it's label is 4922, it's a conventional apple grown with herbicides and harmful fertilizers. If it has a sticker 99222, it's organic and safe to eat.
If it says 89222, then do not buy!!!! It has been genetically modified (GMO).

While on the subject of temptation, the following article in The Edge which I found in Malaysia Today seems relevant.

I wish to add that it is open knowledge that there exists a separate world of under-counter dealings involving slush funds.

If dealing with government departments, and where big projects are concerned, with political leaders as well, require kick-backs, where does the money come from?

Developers might try collecting money apart from the stated prices of houses (where there is a great demand) or over-state their costs of construction, to help grease their way in government departments for their projects' approvals. These are so necessary for successful completion up to the issue of certificate of fitness for occupation. Just imagine the losses in income tax as a result of these twilight zone dealings too.

UNLOCKING POLITICS-BUSINESS CLOSE TIES BEFORE NEW ECONOMIC MODEL
By Thomas Soon, The Edge (excerpts)

Talking about insidious relationship between government officials and businessmen — it’s almost an exercise in futility, isn’t it? Yet the matter is an important topic for discussion, although clearly an uncomfortable one for Malaysian politicians and businessmen, towards improving corporate and public governance, upholding integrity and credibility and towards making good use of taxpayers’ money in good and bad times.

It is all the more crucial given that within Asia, according to Morgan Stanley Research recently, Malaysia’s public sector economy at between 25% and 30% of gross domestic product is one of the biggest, ahead of countries such as India, Taiwan, Thailand, South Korea, Singapore and Hong Kong.

Some may say open tenders would do the trick, without the necessity of divulging the political funding. Yet even with that, the politically well-connected personalities can still be favoured.

Aplenty are rumours of “tricks” employed by corporate figures high up the social and political rank — including having the “opportunity” to have more than a glimpse of proposals submitted by rival bidders. Many companies in the developed world even have “slush” funds to pay off their peers and public officials in emerging markets. Stories too abound of indirect funding via people purportedly bidding for public projects on behalf of the ruling political parties, with the latter getting a cut of the “unjust” rewards — as they say, a win-win situation.

Such allegations are not new, but they do highlight dishonesty and unethical practices in public procurement. Of course, costs to the public jump many fold. Taxpayers will suffer all the more if this public-private sector disease is allowed to continue and fester in any economy.

So it is not much of a surprise when Transparency International Malaysia (TI-M) president Datuk Paul Low recently spoke of the need for businesses to disclose any contributions made to political parties in order to curb political patronage.

Money saved could be deployed to improve public utilities and infrastructure, including the development or redevelopment of human capital, that would have brought even more benefits for the country as a whole over the longer term, even more so during a recession.

Given that it was highly unlikely that local companies would freely reveal if they were funding any political party, Low suggested that the Securities Commission or Bursa Malaysia Bhd introduce a requirement for them to make such a disclosure. He might add that many of our current batch of politicians will never concur with it...
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Discovery of Pineapple...or so we thought...

At school, we were taught how the Europeans first discovered the pine-apple fruit and came up with the name, because it looked like 'pine' and tasted like 'apple'.

But just imagine, instead of the pineapple we know, it was something else:

When we first reached the shore, it was deserted.
Feels like 'Lord of all that he surveys'. Forget about the pose, it wasn't intentional...just comes naturally after too many years together.
It feels hard...wonder if it is edible (typical Chinese, but so did the Europeans, remember 'tastes like apple'?)
'Looks like and feels like pineapple, but I am not, do you mind?'


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Things are not always what they seem...

This picture would give the impression that the escalators are incongruous with the fitness centre. The first thing that comes to mind, 'Those interested in fitness should take the steps and escalators are superfluous.' But I would think the fitness centre came later. The escalators were originally there when the building was put up. I could be wrong, knowing how different people have widely different opinions these days.


Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guestroom. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, 'Things aren't always what they seem.'

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field? The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older angel replied. 'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.'

'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem.'

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later....

Some people come into our lives and quickly go...

Some people become friends and stay awhile... leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts... and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!



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Making sense of what Ah Beng wrote to Ah Lian

There is no doubt some people are making fun of those who speak Singlish (made famous by Phua Chu Kang) or Manglish, and took the trouble to create some purported conversations between Ah Beng and Ah Lian (these names got famous too):

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you.
How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look?
Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now.
Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger.
After that he take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years Annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people.
So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.
Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon.
And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng


Translation/correction of spelling/intended words, for the benefit of those unfamiliar with Singlish/Manglish:

Wrong - long
quiet – quite
find – fine
taukeh soh – Hokien for lady boss
chain – change
somemore – furthermore
kick kok soo – kick kok (sound of high-heeled or leather shoes)
wok – walk
soft where – software
May nonut – McDonald
barger – burger
kalah ok – karaoke

no stop - non-stop
sellerbread – celebrate
Annie wear sari – anniversary
fist – feast
kampong – Malay for village
hole – whole
e-meow – email
ketchup - catchup
few – feel
goo bye – goodbye
worm regard - warm regards




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Mindful when choosing songs...

At my sister's Golden Wedding Anniversary dinner, her eldest son was singing, among other songs, 'Kiss me goodbye'. Someone pointed out the wrong choice of song for the occasion, and I added jokingly, followed by 'Release me'!

I was told at the other occasion, the newly weds sang the beautiful and appropriate song, 'Tonight, I celebrate my love for you'. the famous duet sung by Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack. What I did not realize was the connection with Beauty and the Beast, the film!


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Power of distraction...

in the course of extraction. Politicians should know this tactic well. When there is a big problem, create a side-show to distract the public's attention on it.

A dentist ran out of anaesthetics just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled.

He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction.

It all happened in an instant.

The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth.

Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Did it hurt?"

The patient hesitated, "Could hardly feel when it came out. But, those roots were really deep!"

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Ignorance is bliss...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it........

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

Remember Barbara it's worth 1 Million dollars."

"I think I know who it...but I'm not 100%...

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."

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Unprofessional medical conduct...

A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."

The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."

The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

The doc says,"It's your penis. It's too long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."

The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"

The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."

The guy says, "Dddo it!"

The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc. You've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back!"

The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"

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Jom Ipoh 'Cari Makan'

One of my nephews who said he is coming with his family, turned out to be a total of 8 adults and two toddlers – brother and sister with their spouses and their 2 toddlers and college student son respectively, their father (my brother-in-law), a maid and a friend. With a car and an MPV, I could join them in their Ipoh food quest.

First, breakfast in Batu Gajah after their long journey. Then, deciding how to go about fitting in nephew's appointment with a former college friend (for lunch), and his brother-in-law's appointment at 11.00am to visit a car showroom in Bercham to take measurements for fittings and office furniture (typical Chinese businessman's killing 2 birds with one stone!) which he has a contract to supply.

When the visitors have no idea where they are and unfamiliar with the routes, I had to give suggestions. I avoided splitting into two groups (knowing their lack of familiarity with Ipoh roads) by suggesting meeting at Tesco Extra (former Makro) in Bercham. Well, with Murphy's Law within striking distance, the question posed to the friend, 'Is your house near Tesco Extra?' and the reply, 'Yes.' turned out to be the friend's jumping to conclusion that since we were in BG, then the Tesco must be the one nearest, ie in Station 18!

After meeting up, it became almost like a convoy, of 3 cars – 2 following 1 leading. Later, it would seem (to me, at least) troublesome for 3 cars in busy Ipoh looking for hawker-fare with white coffee, then the place to buy 'Ayam Garam' or salted chicken, then to drink the famous soya bean juice and buy biscuits. My niece's husband actually had a Sungkai salted chicken shop's contact number and he was about to order by phone. He called and promised to call within a few minutes with the order and they actually called back asking for the order! I told him to buy from Ipoh instead because I was shocked at their price of Rm22 and he was glad he got them at Rm16 here. In fact, in Menglembu, it might be even Rm2 cheaper!

Anyway, after the discomfort in trying to find parking spaces in Ipoh during a hot afternoon, on our way back to BG, I suggested going to Clearwater Sanctuary Golf Resort. The two kids and the maid had a nice time playing with the equipment while the adults had nice chats under shade with gentle breeze blowing across the lake.

Being senior and home alone has its advantage. My nephew came with mooncakes and before they left, my niece gave me a salted chicken for dinner!

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Why do I like retirement?

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday, Nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest





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A true 'Anak Malaysia' and proud of it...

Great grand father's Independence Declaration on 31 August 1957: Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Fast forward 52 years:

Tunku Abdul Rahman’s great granddaughter
Sharyn Lisa Shufiyan, 24

“Both my parents are Malay. My mum’s heritage includes Chinese, Thai and Arab, while my dad is Minangkabau. Due to my skin colour, I am often mistaken for a chinese.

I’m happy that I don’t have the typical Malay look but I do get annoyed when people call me Ah Moi or ask me straight up “Are you Chinese or Malay”. Like, why does it matter? Before I used to answer “Malay” but now I’m trying to consciously answer Malaysian instead..

I’ve heard of the 1Malaysia concept, but I think we don’t need to be told to be united. We’ve come such a long way that it should already be embedded in our hearts and minds that we are united. Unfortunately, you can still see racial discrimination and polarisation. There is still this ethno-centric view that the Malays are the dominant group and their rights must be protected, and non Malays are forever the outsiders.

For the concept to succeed, I think the government should stop with the race politics. It’s tiring, really. We grew up with application forms asking us to tick our race. We should stop painting a negative image of the other races, stop thinking about ‘us’ and ‘them’ and focus on ‘we’, ‘our’ and ‘Malaysians’.

No one should be made uncomfortable in their own home. A dear Chinese friend of mine said to me once, “I don’t feel patriotic because I am not made to feel like Malaysia is my home, and I don’t feel an affinity to China because I have never lived there..

I know some baby Nyonya friends who can trace their lineage back hundreds of years. I’m a fourth generation Malaysian.. If I am Bumiputra, why can’t they be, too? Clearly I have issues with the term.

I think the main reason why we still can’t achieve total unity is because of this ‘Malay rights’ concept. I’d rather ‘Malay rights’ be replaced by human rights. So unless we get rid of this Bumiputra status, or reform our views and policies on rights, we will never achieve unity.

For my merdeka wish, I’d like for Malaysians to have more voice, to be respected and heard. I wish that the government would uphold the true essence of parliamentary democracy. I wish for the people to no longer fear and discriminate against each other, to see that we are one and the same.

I wish that Malaysia would truly live up to the tourism spin of Malaysia truly Asia. Malaysians to lead – whatever their ethnic background. Only ONE NATIONALITY -MALAYSIAN. No Malays, No Chinese, No Indians – ONLY MALAYSIANS. Choose whatever religion one is comfortable with.
MERDEKA
MERDEKA
MERDEKA

http://bangmalaysia.wordpress.com/2009/09/11/tunku-abdul-rahmans-great-granddaughter-speaks-up/
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Why we need meritocracy to succeed...

A profound short little paragraph years ago that says it all:

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

This can be explained with a simple analogy:

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that!



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Damai Laut Country Resort - a recent visit

View on the right, on the way to hotel lobby

View from the lobby

On the way to the beach, across swimming pool

Steps leading to the beach

Quiet beach to ourselves!

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Play on words by Lexophiles

LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

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Consequence of our security problems...

When my daughters are thousands of miles overseas, I have relative peace of mind but when they are in Kuala Lumpur, I worry over their security. This was confirmed by Cheng who had a discussion with one of her aunts in KL. Here's the purported conversation:

Aunt: Malaysia is now so well developed that the gaps between our country and those developed western countries are now much narrower. I like the weather here and I can get almost anything I want too. I can travel overseas if and when I feel like it.

Cheng: I would agree with that but to me, the problem of lack of security would be one of the main reasons against my coming back to this country. I do not want to be put in a situation where I cannot go out as I please, without the need to have the presence of a male to provide some sort of security. Why must we girls be dependent on boys or men with such a simple act as going out of the house? My personal experience was as a victim of a snatch theft which injured my neck, just walking between my aunt's house and Bangsar Shopping Complex, plus two unsuccessful snatch attempts elsewhere. Your sister was a recent victim of a 'break car window and grab handbag' robbery when she stopped her car at a road junction. I think you are just being lucky.

My comments: The case of the father jogging with his daughter (ahead of her by a few minutes only) which resulted in her murder, showed the false sense of security of having a male presence.

BSC must be notorious now, when we consider the fact that Canny Ong was abducted from its car park and murdered somewhere else (despite having her mother and others in the same complex), and the recent case of a restaurant patron being assaulted and his partner's handbag snatched in the presence of other patrons showed the lawlessness of the situation and helplessness of the people here.

A few years ago, my other daughter had her handphone fished out of her room in Section 14 because of having the room windows open (no air-conditioning) which was reported to the police and followed by another 4 or 5 cases at the same house within two years (not reported because of no confidence in police action or prevention). Someone recently commented that since more people are walking from Millenium Square to Asia Jaya LRT station (behind the houses), there are less cases of snatch thefts because of the absence of motorcyclists! Good point to note.

In Perak, my son used to come back from a night out with his friends until early next morning. He is getting used to being stopped by police who might be more interested in finding fault with 'no road tax or no driving licence' than enhancing security. Sometimes, we wonder if they are friends or foes. During the puasa month, there was an increased presence of police and JPJ personnel in setting up road blocks and everyone knew why. For the first time, near the entrance to Meru Valley Golf Resort, I saw almost 30 young policemen with their new uniforms. We joked privately of the usual excuse of 'mana cukup? Ada lima orang (not enough, we have five of us) when it comes to private settlement, so with 30 persons, it requires a lot more to be enough for even just a cup of tea each! A palm oil fruit harvesting contractor was driving an empty lorry, yet when stopped, the JPJ staff got the cheek to say, 'nak minum kopi sahaja'! And it was something like Rm80 for being there at the wrong time! Blatant extortion. Can you blame the people for not respecting the law enforcement officers?

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Aphorism

A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH!

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.


15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.


17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Proton Saga(made in Malaysia car).

19. After 70, if you don't wake up aching in many joints, you are probably dead!

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.

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Cheer up, things could have been worse...

I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse!

A good start but could have been mauled by a Rothweiler dog.

Yesterday, I found an old friend through Facebook. Very excitedly, I wrote, 'Found you! Out of 25 namesakes.' Each time I used the computer, I would check for any response. After what seems like a day or so, I noticed the picture under 'added as friend pending acceptance' disappeared! Rejection was the first thought that came to mind. Why? What did I do?

This morning, I tried again by sending a message, explaining that I would understand if cannot accept as friend because of the lack of confidentiality, etc. but at least give me a response. It was a good job, I left my mobile number when I mentioned about Don and Mylene contacting me out of the blue. Minutes later, I got a text message explaining why because in China, Facebook is practically banned. They can read only messages sent through Facebook. I also noticed that my Globetrkr does not seem to include any visit from China. The friend happens to be in Shanghai and I mentioned about my nephew who is in that city too.

Then, this afternoon, out of the blue, this particular nephew called me! I thought he called from Shanghai but then realized it was a local mobile number. He said he would be coming up to Ipoh with his family to see a friend and asked if I am free for breakfast tomorrow.

Come dinner time, being home alone, I decided to walk to my friend's restaurant for a quick 'wat tan hor' (kwayteow cooked Cantonese style). I walked down the usual path which involved balancing oneself down the slope. Each time, my neighbour's dogs would bark at me because our dogs used to bark at them. In other words, they are not friends though the owners are, in fact related. I did not give a second thought about it until I saw the smaller black dog came at me, barking. I tried to shoo it away without effect and tried to scare it away, still without effect. While I was wondering what to do in case of it biting me, I saw the Rothweiler coming at me, and I had to literally run for my life!

Luckily, after I ran across the road, they stopped. I called out for the owner and it took him a few minutes before realizing that I was calling him. I told him in no uncertain terms how I felt about it in case I was bitten by the dogs. I cannot help thinking what could have happened (as in being mauled by two dogs) when my wife and daughter has already left for a holiday overseas and my nephew's family coming tomorrow morning.

What a day!

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Rowan Atkinson a.k.a. Mr. Bean...

the man millions of people the world over laughed at: getting ready for work while driving a Mini; using his Mini to push aside the poor three-wheeled Robin; having his Mini flattened by a military tank, and so on and so forth. I particularly like his sense of timing as a music conductor of a Salvation Army brass band during Christmas. Look, who is having the last laugh!:






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Opposing views

With war, who is friend or enemy, depends on which side you are on. Surely, the existence of major differences must have started a war, and it is unlikely to end, especially the war of words, even after peace, if people from either side have the chance to express their views.

Don and Mylene forwarded to me the following two 'incidents' which may or may not start a debate as to who is right or wrong:

Thought for the day!

An incident occurred in a supermarket recently, when the following was witnessed:

A Muslim woman dressed in a Burkha (A black gown & face mask) was standing with her shopping in a queue at the checkout.

When it was her turn to be served, and as she reached the cashier, she made a loud remark about the English Flag lapel pin, which the female cashier was wearing on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly. My son serves abroad with the forces and I wear it for him".

The Muslim woman then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing and killing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

At that point, a Gentleman standing in the queue stepped forward, and interrupted with a calm and gentle voice, and said to the Iraqi woman: "Excuse me, but hundreds of thousands of men and women, just like this ladies son have fought and sacrificed their lives so that people just like YOU can stand here, in England, which is MY country and allow you to blatantly accuse an innocent check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen".

"It is my belief that if you were allowed to be as outspoken as that in Iraq, which you claim to be YOUR country, then we wouldn't need to be fighting there today".

"However - now that you have learned how to speak out and criticise the English people who have afforded you the protection of MY country, I will gladly pay the cost of a ticket to help you pay your way back to Iraq".

"When you get there, and if you manage to survive for being as outspoken as you are here in England, then you should be able to help straighten out the mess which YOUR Iraqi countrymen have got you into in the first place, which appears to be the reason that you have come to MY country to avoid."

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded.

Ouch

A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included 20 Admirals from the US, British, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

a reception, he found himself standing with a huge group of officers that included personnel from most of the countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French Admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages. Americans learn only English!

He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences, rather than speaking French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, "Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."





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I am a re-cyclist...

yesterday I cycled and today I cycle again.

It is strange because just when I was about to post something on re-cycling, I got a call from Mylene who asked for my email address because she wants to send something for me to post. I met them once, at a guess, 2 years ago, at the monthly Little Penang Street Market and I gave them a sticker with my name and phone number.

The couple are into showing people how to achieve almost zero garbage by separating their daily rubbish. I particularly like their advice on how to use 10 pots to make compost from our organic waste from fruits and vegetables. For those who are keen, please visit their website.

Their message to me:

Hi KS

Nice to get in touch with you once again. We read your blog almost every night and we find it quite fun and informative.

We are still doing what we have been doing over the last 13 years .... recycling household waste and sharing this simple, practical and doable method of keeping valuable resources from the landfill.

You can visit our website for more info on recycling. www.greencrusaders.com

Looking foward to meeting up with you at the Little Penang Street Maret soon and a chit- chat over a cup of coffee.

Warm Regards Don & Mylene.

What I was about to post:

One day, a student said she wanted to throw away a piece of paper which she had done her homework on. Her classmate said she wanted it. Thinking that she wanted it because of what was written on the paper, her mother walked about half a kilometre to where her car was parked to get it. It was then the classmate said, 'my grandmother collects old papers to sell'. The student's mother was upset because she said she would rather give her 10 sen than walked such a long way for that paper meant for re-cycling!

The other day, my wife instructed me to take away all the old newspapers in the PJ house for our cleaner in BG! Stacked up, I think it was almost three feet high. But for all that it was worth, it seemed silly because the weight would increase fuel consumption, especially long distance of at least 200km and I ended up having to send it to her house and even had to take the whole lot down again! Again, I would rather give her the few ringgit instead. But what boss said, I had to listen because she is always right.

The thing about re-cycling is that it will make the place look untidy because of having to store it first until collection. So if one prefers tidiness, re-cycling is not an option unless it is straight to the bins meant for it.

We are far behind in this aspect, unlike some European countries where they have separate containers for glass, plastic and paper. What I like best is that you can actually throw in broken bottles. I always have this problem in Malaysia whenever I have broken pieces of glass as I worry over the fact that someone might get cut, if not the rubbish collector, then probably scavengers at the landfill.
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An aid to remembering tunes...

The problem with playing music without proper knowledge is that we often ask, 'How does it go?' Just imagine, say, playing Man of Mystery (The Shadows) without knowing the melody!

I asked for and was given a CD of tunes which the saxophonist has selected for me to try out if I can accompany him. It turned out to be a dud CD because, according to Cheng, each song has only less than 100kb which is impossible to have recorded properly. This explains why I tried the CD player and DVD player and each time showed 'No disc'. So I searched for them at Youtube (wonderful facility) and looked for those with more distinct drumbeats and the following are my selection, though the first tune has hardly any drum accompaniment.

Over the rainbow (Kenny G)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh07llqnVl8

A day in the life of a fool ('Black Orpheus')

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4beJksepOo

As time goes by (Kenny G)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOA7EzEoPW0

Emily (Dave Koz)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrETGwk2AWg&feature=related

Misty (Conner Plant @ Mel Brown 2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Tx_dj5Um4&feature=related

It would be helpful to me if Foo would start with the first line of each tune so that I get to know the tune to follow!

How I wish I have the magic stethoscope (as shown in the following clip) to just place it one top of each song name!

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You are what you eat...

must be a common statement these days when commenting on someone's size, especially relating to overweight or even obese persons. Just the other day, I saw this 'prosperous looking' young man walking past, holding a big packet of chips and munching, on his way to the phone shop.

Research have shown the importance of food on our general health - basically, we must have the essential vitamins and minerals and enzymes (according to the following article), and preferably, have a good balance of what are necessary.

This informative article seems educational and helpful in our understanding of cancer and its prevention:

Build up your body defence against cancer.
Please do read......... Prevention is better than cure.

Health & Wellness

Cancer, Enzymes & the Power of Papaya
By Mauris L. Emeka

It has been said that cancer is the final stage in years of acting against the laws of nature, and that anyone with an unhealthy lifestyle and who eats improperly spends his whole life preparing for this dreaded disease.

What is the nature of cancer as seen from the cellular level? Dr. John Beard, a leading professor of embryology in Scotland, posed that question sometime in the 1880s. He spent the rest of his life exploring the process of cancer and discovering just what activity within the body produces malignant tumors. Dr. Beard documented his work in a publication called “The Enzyme Treatment of Cancer And Its Scientific Basis”, copyright 1911.

We have in our bodies what scientists call primitive germ cells. In laymen's terms, these are undeveloped cells that remain after new life is first formed in a mother’s womb. They are called “primitive” because these cells never did develop into mature cells to form various parts of the body. Think of primitive germ cells as extra cells that were not needed in the formation of the fetus. These cells are therefore in each of us, and they seemingly have no function until and unless the body experiences stress or injury of any kind. At that point, the primitive cells become activated in order to help heal whatever stress or injury the body may be experiencing. And once they are activated, these primitive cells start maturing and behaving like trophoblasts cells, which are the cells that house the fetus in an expectant mother. Dr. Beard found that these activated cells continue their growth and development until enough protein digesting enzymes are brought to bear. When there is a sufficient amount of protein digesting enzymes in the body the growth of activated cells ceases. The organ known as the pancreas produces these enzymes, but if it fails to produce enough of them then the activated primitive cells will continue their trophoblasts-like growth eventually producing a cancerous tumor. So whenever healing is initiated by primitive germ cells it is vital that the body have enough protein digesting enzymes to halt the healing process once it has reached a certain point. Dr. Beard’s most important discovery was that if there are not enough of certain enzymes in the body then the growth of activated primitive germ cells will proceed unchecked and lead to the formation of a cancerous tumor. Indeed, the present day enzyme treatment of cancer is based largely on this important discovery

In a real sense, protein digesting enzymes are our first line of defence against cancer. That is why it is so important that we nourish the body in a way that introduces protein digesting enzymes into it everyday. Otherwise, we must depend on the limited capability of our pancreas to produce such enzymes. All too often our pancreas is not capable of supplying enough digestive enzymes to digest the preponderance of cooked food that we consume daily. [Note: when food is cooked it kills the enzymes and when we eat those foods it becomes the job of our pancreas to supply enzymes to digest them; but the pancreas is limited in this regard].

When someone has cancer, no matter where the malignant tumor shows up, it is vital that they consume foods whose enzymes have not been killed. That means eating an abundance of raw fruits, vegetables and nuts. Dr. Beard and other researchers have discovered that enzymes that digest protein play a key role in halting the growth of cancer cells. It’s no wonder that virtually every alternative cancer treatment program encourages patients to stop eating animal products and to eat more raw enzyme-rich fruits and vegetables. When someone has cancer, if they continue eating a daily diet of animal products (meat, chicken, fish, dairy, etc.), these hard to digest foods greatly challenge an already overworked pancreas. Cancer, no matter where it shows up, is a sure sign that the pancreas is not producing adequate enzymes. In addition, eating animal products makes the body chemistry considerably more acidic, and cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. And, as mentioned earlier, a lack of protein digesting enzymes allows out of control primitive germ cells to become cancerous. In that sense, we can think of cancer, any cancer, as an enzyme deficiency disease.

The good news is that we can each do something about this situation. We can change what we eat and eat more foods that introduce enzymes into the body, as opposed to mainly cooked foods that require the body to manufacture critically needed enzymes. One such food that is especially helpful in this regard is the papaya and papaya seeds; another is pineapple. Both fruits contain enzymes (papain and bromelain, respectively) that are similar to the protein digesting enzymes made by the pancreas. Another extremely beneficial food is sprouts (bean sprouts, broccoli sprouts). They are a rich source of beneficial enzymes and other nutrients that are known to suppress cancerous activity. Protein digesting enzymes are particularly important in that they can dissolve the protein coating that forms around all cancer cells, and this enables the immune system to finally ‘see’ the cancer cells and target them for destruction. These foods also make the body chemistry less acidic and thus a lot less conducive for cancerous activity. (See Barbara Simonsohn’s book, “Healing Power of Papaya”, copyright 2000).

Grant it, protein digesting enzymes may not be the only answer to cancer, but truly they are the body’s first defense against this most dreaded disease. If I ever though I had cancer, aside from abstaining from animal protein, sugar, refined grains, and processed foods, I would be sure to eat at least a half of a papaya and a generous portions of its seeds daily in order to strengthen my body’s first line of defence.

Mr. Emeka lives in Port Orchard, Washington. He authored two self-help books about cancer: “Fear Cancer No More” copyright 2002 & “Cancer’s Best Medicine”, copyright 2004. www.cancernomore.com

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Neologisms

Before we could even master English, more meanings are being created for old words and more words are being created for old meanings! (sigh)

New Meanings for Old Words: (from the Washington Post annual Neologism Contest)

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Shiftless (Adj.) describes people too lazy to use upper-case letters in their e-mail.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Peripatetic (n.), One who wanders around aiding the pitiful.

Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

New Words for Old Meanings:

Frisbeetarianism (n.). The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Aquadextrous (adj). Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Carperpetuation (n.) The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Disconfect (v.) To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.

Elbonics (n.) The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

Frust (n.) The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until she finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Lactomangulation (n.) Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "'illegal" side.

Peppier (pehp ee ay') (n.) The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Phonesia (n.) The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

Pupkus (n.) The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

Implowed (adj.) Trapped by packed snow pushed into the driveway by a passing snow plow.

Telecrastination (n.) The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Awkword (n.) A word that is difficult to pronounce. (example: "similarly")

Anecdotage (n.) Advanced age where all one does is relate stories about "the good old days."

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