Year-end Humour from Traffic Cops in the US

US cops have a way with words! These are actual comments made by South Carolina troopers that were taken off their car videos:

when dealing with those with poor memory:
"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

when dealing with name-droppers:
"I'm glad to hear that the chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

when dealing with those with superior complex:
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

when dealing with those who believe in quotas:
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

or...

“No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

AND THE WINNER IS....

when dealing with conceited women:
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

(edited from text forwarded by Bayi. Thanks.)
Link

Careful where you stick them prices...

Link

A typical Android user: nerdy but with girlfriends

Ever wondered what the typical Android user looks like? There’s no doubt we have our stereotypes for followers of specific operating systems, and Android is no exception. The guys from BlueStacks have just compiled information from Nielsen and a Facebook poll they conducted. The result is Mr. Android 2011.

More:
http://androidandme.com/2011/12/news/the-typical-android-user-is-a-nerd-in-t-shirt-and-jeans-but-at-least-we-have-girlfriends/

And I am not one yet.
Link

'Peace of mind' is a 'piece of cake'...

Once Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."

The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own -- and you have clear water.

Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!

Link

A miracle story

From Peter :

Freedom and Jeff

Freedom and I have been together 11 years this summer. She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings. Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery, it was broken in 4 places. She's my baby.

When Freedom came in she could not stand and both wings were broken. She was emaciated and covered in lice. We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the vet's office. From then on, I was always around her. We had her in a huge dog carrier with the top off, and it was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in. I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight; and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes. We also had to tube feed her for weeks.

This went on for 4-6 weeks, and by then she still couldn't stand. It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldn't stand in a week. You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning. She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didn't want to go to the center that Thursday, because I couldn't bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear. I went immediately back to her cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle. She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day.

We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her. I got her used to the glove, and then to jesses, and we started doing education programs for schools in western Washington . We wound up in the newspapers, radio (believe it or not) and some TV. Miracle Pets even did a show about us.

In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo. Lost the hair - the whole bit. I missed a lot of work. When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey and take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. This happened time and time again.

Fast forward to November 2000

the day after Thanksgiving, I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant. Anyway, they did the tests; and I had to come back Monday for the results. I went in Monday, and I was told that all the cancer was gone.

So the first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the big girl out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill. I hadn't said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew. She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), and she touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I don't know how long. That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.

On a side note: I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, and Freedom has some kind of hold on them. I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us and I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power course through his body. I have so many stories like that..

I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom.

Hope you enjoyed this!

Cancer is a strange cell. You can go along for years in remission and then one day it pops its head up again. If you ever have it you will never be free of it. Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.

Link

Lost in translation?

Sardar, a furniture dealer from Kirti Nagar, decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decides to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in west Delhi.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decides to visit a pub and have a glass of wine.

As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.

He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in PUNJABI-HINDI- ENGLISH but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.

They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance.

They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed.

Till this day, the Sardar is trying to figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.

Link

Of friends, panties and mourning...

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.

Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.

Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum, I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away, to which she agreed.

The first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties... he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there, I am still mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same...she stood there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit...but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences..."

Link

Mathias Gomes's 20 Non-winnable candidates in GE-13

How different is your list? I did try to find the original article in Malaysia Chronicle to link with, but without success. I searched outside MC too. Anyway, I am listing the names with brief descriptions...

According to Mathias Gomes, Top Twenty Non-Winnable Candidates in GE-13 in descending order:

20 : P Ramasamy (DAP), the current Penang Deputy Chief Minister II, was not in my list when this idea came to me weeks ago...

19 : Nasharudin Mat Isa (PAS). With his unusual link to UMNO and close ties to Hassan Ali, he has put himself far away from voters even from PAS, which loved him like a son...

18 : Who else? It surely has to be Hassan Ali (PAS). This great maestro will come down hard. He will finally have to face the realities on the ground. The people of Selangor will surely tell him what they think of his slimy and despicable ways...

17 : Zulkilfli Noordin (BN-friendly Independent), another troublemaker of the highest order who pretends to be holier than thou...

16 : Zahrain Hashim (BN-friendly Independent). Once regarded as a strong supporter of Anwar Ibrahim's, Zahrain sold his friendship and soul away to UMNO for crumbs and a field trip with the PM overseas...

15 : Nasharuddin Hashim (UMNO). Does anyone remember him now? Well he was the man who caused the Perak coup by crossing over to PKR from UMNO and then jumping ship again...

14 : Osman Jailu (BN-friendly Independent). This Changkat Jering assemblyman is one of the infamous trio who bit the hand that fed them. He is from the trio of 'frogs' that jumped ship, prompting the coup in Perak...

13 : Jamaluddin Mohd Radzi (BN-friendly Independent). This guy looks like an Casanova with his mustache and colouring - a true conman guise. He is the second member of the famous trio who sold out to UMNO for money, sparking the coup in Perak that toppled Mentri Besar Nizar Jamaluddin's Pakatan state government. Behrang remembers this ex-postman well. He will lose his deposit if he sits in Behrang again. Another guaranteed loser.

12 : N Gopalakrishnan (BN-friendly Independent). This one-time MIC Youth chief was Samy Vellu's close aide...

11 : M Saravanan (MIC). He is considered as one of Samy Vellu's attack dogs (You Tube)...

10 : Subramaniam Sathasivam (MIC), currently the deputy president of MIC and Minister for Human Resources. He is fighting a battle of sorts with his boss, G Palanivel...

9 : K Devamany (MIC). A vice-president at MIC, Devamany is one of the few MIC candidates who won the last election. But Cameron Highlands does not want him anymore...

8 : Khairy Jamaluddin (UMNO). This hot-shot Oxford graduate is no match for PKR's Chegubard or Badrul Hisham Shaharin in Rembau. As usual, when Khairy won, there was controversy just like in his UMNO Youth Chief victory over Mukhriz Mahathir...

7 : Leo Gwo Burne (PKR). This guy became famous because of the 'correct, correct, correct' Lingam Tapes...

6 : Syed Hamid Syed Jaffar Albar (UMNO). The former Home Minister was responsible for the headache that is now troubling Hishamudin Hussein over the illegal immigrants issue...

5 : Chua Soi Lek (MCA). Will this MCA president be a candidate in upcoming elections? If he has his way, for sure he will contest despite his obvious unpopularity...

4 : P Kamalanathan (MIC). This MIC information chief, who has a dubious degree which has still not been cleared yet, won in Hulu Selangor thanks to the support of the entire BN machinery together with lots of alleged 'voter-bribes', i.e. bribes given to voters...

3 : And now, the grand finale - the Top Three shocking losses. Well, at number 3 is a fellow with a loud voice, an extinct face, King of amphibians, and the No. 2 racist in the country after Mahathir Mohamad, the Don. Ladies and gentleman, in third place is none other than Ibrahim Ali (BN-friendly Independent)...

2 : At Number 2 is a lady who has become a liability to UMNO - with or without her family. She is notorious now for Malaysia's own Cowgate scandal, a RM250mil financial debacle involving a national livestock project...

1 : And now friends, the cliffhanger! The No. 1 most non-winnable candidate in Malaysian History goes to ... the most detested Chinese female in Malaysia - Hee Yit Foong of DAP. She was called all sorts of names for prompting the power grab in Perak...

I am sure each of us has our own list of candidates who we think are non-winnable in the next election for one reason or other.

The above list consists of DAP 1, PAS 2, PKR 1, UMNO 4, MCA 1, MIC 4 and BN-friendly Independents 7 (Hee is ex-DAP). I would expect those under BN-friendly Independents to be left out by BN, for having served their purpose and obviously non-winnable viewed from either side of the political divide. I would disagree on P. Ramasamy being considered as such, and I think the PAS duo are likely to be dropped for being too obviously Umno friendly to serve the bigger Pakatan scheme. Generally, we are unlikely to get the satisfaction of seeing non-winnable candidates lose because they are not going to be fielded. Khairy is likely to be fielded by virtue of his position as head of Umno Youth.
Link

Cash is still the best?

We need to be reminded of possible frauds which we are exposed to when using credit or debit cards. Highlights from Yahoo Finance:

Debit Cards Are Different

With credit cards, users who spot fraudulent charges on their bill can simply decline the charges and not pay the bill. On the other hand, debit cards draw money directly from your checking account, rather than from an intermediary such as a credit card company.

Skimming ATMs

"Any transaction you do outdoors at an open ATM is going to be higher risk exposure," McGoey says. "If the public has access to it, then someone has the ability to add skimming devices to it, position cameras on it and position themselves in a way where they could surveil it."

Stealing PINs at Gas Stations

"In a gas station where you do have a whole bunch of pay-at-the-pump kinds of things and minimal supervision, it's pretty easy for a bad guy to put a skimming device on and put a little pinpoint camera there and compromise debit cards that way," McNelley says. Thieves often use small cameras to capture footage of debit card users entering their PINs so they can have free access to their money.

The Web Is a Risky Place

"Online is the No. 1 place where consumers should not use their debit cards," she says. "It's susceptible at so many points. The consumer could have malware on their computer, so it could be at their endpoint that the data get compromised. It could be a man-in-the-middle attack where somebody is eavesdropping on their communications via the wireless network. And then at the other end, that data goes into a database at the merchant. As we've seen with some of the higher-profile breach events over the last year or so, that data is going to be vulnerable if (they're) not properly cared for."

Aside from the potential for hacking at many different points in a transaction, Abagnale says a fundamental problem with using debit cards online is it's impossible to know who is handling your information.

Restaurants Keep Customer Data on File

"Any place where the card is out of hand" can increase the chances of fraud, says McGoey. "The guy comes to your table, takes your card and disappears for a while, so he or she has privacy," giving the person the opportunity to copy your card information.

Even restaurants without sit-down service can present a threat. McNelley says using debit cards to order delivery can be risky because cashiers tend to keep customer payment information on file. That may make future orders more convenient, but small businesses rarely take the steps necessary to safeguard payment information, she says.

Source:
http://financiallyfit.yahoo.com/finance/article-113817-11716-3-4-risky-places-to-swipe-your-debit-card?ywaad=ad0035&nc
Link

Be careful with your lie detector

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner.

"Son, where were you today?"

The son says "... at school dad."
Robot slaps the son!

"Ok, I watched a DVD at my friend’s house!" the son says.

"What DVD?" asks the father.

"Toy story." Robot slaps the son again!

"Ok, it was a porno!" cries the son.

"What?!? When I was your age, I didn't know what porn was," says the dad.
Robot slaps the dad!

Mom laughs "Ha! Ha! Ha! He's certainly your son."
Robot slaps the mom!
Link

BR1Mming with hope and confusion

What may seem like a simple cash handout by our closet Santa is confusing more and more people. In Malaysia, after years of being fed half-truths and outright lies, nobody seems to be able to accept simple explanation.

Without going into the obvious criteria for eligibility which are shown on the form itself, the usual explanations given by officials, elected representatives and politician wannabees are still unacceptable to some.

The key question, 'Are pensions treated as income for the purpose of calculating the ceiling of Rm3,000 per household?' seems simple enough, yet I could not find anything from the official site http://www.treasury.gov.my/pdf/br1m/Mekanisma_BR1M.pdf
which explains this likely question, not even in its FAQs.

Yesterday a pensioner friend actually came to see me about this. He had been to the Penghulu's office, been discussing with both BN and PR politicians, with friends and fellow pensioners, yet he is still worried about either missing out come the deadline set at January 10 or being penalized in case he applied assuming he and his wife's combined pensions (which exceed Rm3,000) are not counted as income for that purpose but which turned out to be so.

Najib's cash handouts in one form or other are clearly for the coming general elections, regardless of the financial ability of the government. On the one hand, he could win the hearts of the voters without using his own party funds, while on the other, draining the country coffers is also like the poison apple strategy used in corporate battles.

Some people expect the government to pay to those even marginally ineligible because of lack of clear definitions, to avoid people turning round and accuse BN for not honouring their promises. But from a pragmatic point, I think the government would pay to those obviously eligible and tell the others to appeal. Considering the fact that there are many who refused to apply for fear of being tracked by the government for income tax purposes, those who simply applied for the sake of applying and hope for the best are unlikely to appeal.

Meanwhile, I am still unable to tell my friend whether his pensions are considered income for this purpose. He thinks pensions are like EPF which he opted out of, and should be considered his fund being spread over his remaining years.

Link

Unravelling a puzzle

Three men went to a hotel to share a room.

The clerk asked for $300.

Each man paid $100, making up the $300.

The hotelkeeper then decided to allow a discount for the day,
charging only $250 for the room.

He told the clerk to return $50 to the three men.

The clerk pocketed $20 for himself.
He gave the remaining $30 back to the three men.

Each man took back $10.
Therefore, each man paid $100 - $10 = $90 for the night.

$90 x 3 = $270 + the clerk's $20 = $290.

Question: Where has the remaining $10 gone?

Many people are still trying to work out an answer.

I was caught in this puzzle too. But to explain it, we need to look at the real situation instead of being led into thinking the amounts do not add up.

The hotel keeper charges $250 and the clerk took $20 from the $270, shared by the three men at $90 each. To the hotel keeper, he gave a discount of $50 from the $300 and receives $250; to the three men, the room costs $270. One does not know the others deal, that's all to it.
Link

Interpreting a Will...

His will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend.
"Ah well, Paddy would be pleased," she said.
"You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"So go on, how much did this really cost?'"
"All of it," said Colleen. "Forty thousand."

"Aw No!" Mary exclaimed, "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!"

Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."
Mary computed quickly."For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone?
How big is it?"
..
.
.


Link

We, the voters, should be given the choice to select our PM

Never before has there been such a clear contest for the PM position in Malaysia, unless the verdict on January 9, 2012 put Anwar behind bars again.

By convention, BN (Alliance before), with Umno as the anchor party, had always chosen Umno's President and Deputy President as the nation's Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister. We have seen how this system meant our PM was decided by 191 division leaders of Umno. The power in the hands of the decision-makers is obvious, and it follows that whoever is able to influence them gets to be PM. Where does that leave us, the voters?

Pakatan Rakyat has confirmed, and reconfirmed, even to the extent of considering making Anwar PM if he were to be sentenced to jail, if ever PR won the next general election.

Therefore, the choice for the post of PM of Malaysia is between BN's Najib and PR's Anwar.

The Sodomy II case is perceived by many to be cooked up by vested interests who wanted Anwar to be out of the way in the coming general election. The fact that the so-called victim met with the PM (no less) and a police officer in a hotel (of all places) serves to re-enforce this perception. The rest of the evidence are well documented and commented during the trial and now we await the crucial verdict on January 9.

I am sure many voters feel that the competition for the post of PM between Najib and Anwar will be unfairly affected by the deliberate action to disqualify Anwar using Sodomy II. It shows Najib as being unprepared to face a fair competition to let the voters decide in the forthcoming general elections. It also shows how the incumbent has an unfair advantage because of the many institutions under his control. Should Najib wins because of Anwar being put away, his victory will be hollow and dishonourable.

However, there is always the prospect that any judgment against Anwar could rally the people behind his daughter Nurul Izzah, which could possibly tip the balance at the GE in PR's favour. The perception of injustice could work wonders in the minds of the people, cutting across race and religious barriers. She will be the chosen icon without the usual jealousies between more obvious contenders under normal circumstances. Let's hope good sense will prevail and that there will be a fair competition between Najib and Anwar, which gives us a chance to choose our PM.

Update:
Wlliam Leong's latest article on Legitimacy of the Judiciary...
http://malaysia-today.net/mtcolumns/letterssurat/46090-legitimacy-of-the-judiciary-political-foes-bn-businessman-and-you
Link

Christmas dinner for old folks in Pusing

For the past few years, we had been attending Christmas dinner for old folks at the Dewan Dato Cheah Fah. This year I went alone. I met one of the committee members (of Pusing Thong Yin Benevolent Association) and asked if any local politicians were invited. He replied none, and emphasized that they tried not to touch on politics. But from past experience, DAP representatives were invited when Pakatan was in power in Perak, then MCA representatives when BN was in power. So I had my doubts.

Anyway, this year, there were no elected representatives present, though there was an Indian representing an elected representative which I did not bother to find out who. But there was an MCA politician, Loh Kwee Peng (?) JP, who seemed to be in the limelight on stage at every photo session. Towards the end, a committee member announced that there was a shortfall of Rm1,527 arising from the total expenses of Rm37,350 exceeding total receipts of Rm35,823, as shown in the accounts made available to all, together with details of donors and other relevant information. Soon after, he made another announcement that the shortfall had been covered by a donation of Rm1,600 pledged by MCA man, Loh. He was greeted with applause. I appreciate such generosity but wished he did not capitalize on it politically. So my doubts about the promised non-political nature of the event was not being too cynical after all.

Link

Christmas trivia...

To those who still believe in Santa Claus...

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known...

ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!!





A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!
Link

Christmas Sunday morning

The Tarmac on the left leads to our Semi-Ds; the grass patch on the left is in front of our other house. It is obvious from this view, that the vegetable plot and the barrel are in front of our house. Why not in front of theirs?

Notice the palm leaves left on the right. Why not in front of their house?

A Navara driven out of the porch needs the grass verge on the right to be able to drive off without having to move forward and backward again. Once, a catering truck parked on the grass just before the barrel and I nearly could not manoeuvre out from the porch!
Link

Breast feeding in public holds up traffic!

What were you thinking about?

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to all.
Link

Kosong becomes Gero meh?

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.

When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"

The first Ah Lian replied smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
Link

Everything is big in Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush"...

I just realized this joke isn't very nice. Just don't laugh, ok?
Link

In memory of my mother

Yap Liew (1917 - 1993)

Today is actually my mother's 18th death anniversary. She died in Tung Shin Hospital, KL, and the date was easy to remember because of Christmas Eve and when Highland Tower collapsed (1993), killing many residents and people who happened to be there.

Being home alone also brings back memories of when after the funeral service, everybody left the family house except me. The loneliness which I felt was more so when just hours earlier there was a big crowd of relatives and friends who were present. I realized I was all alone when I woke up at dusk from a nap.

I used to travel between KL and BG, between my mother and my own family, almost every week for 12 years, when the North-South Expressway has yet to open.

Being the youngest in the family, when I came back from UK for good, my father was already paralyzed after a stroke. He passed on in 1982, a few months after. Despite having a large family and many grandchildren, my mother lived by herself most of the time and I was with her 5 days in a week. Many would not know that my 'Cheah pah siew eng' was actually her favourite expression of anyone who got involved into a lot of trouble unnecessarily for minding others business.

For the past couple of days, I had been uploading old pictures of our own Clan in Facebook, much to the pleasant surprise of my nephews and nieces who had seen them for the first time. We even have a family tree which covers five generations! Thanks to the internet and Facebook, information sharing has been made so easy and almost instantaneous.

Meanwhile, it will be Lonely this Christmas again.

Link

Why some smug students failed in exams...

I am sure we have come across students who thought they have done well, yet failed in the examinations. We have also come across those who expected the worst, yet obtained excellent results.

If I were to be given the task of setting questions, I would love to trap those smug students with the following examples as red herrings in objective answers to choose from (these are presumed to be actual written answers by students):

Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%

Q. In which battle did Tipu Sultan died?
A. His last battle.

Q. Where was the Declaration of Independance Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.

Q. Ganga flows in which state?
A. Liquid.

Q. What's the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.

Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.

Did the student give any wrong answer??


Q: What does terminal illness mean? A: When you become ill at the airport.
Q: What is a plasmid? A: a high definition tv.
Q: Explain homeostasis. A: It is when you stay at home all day and don't go out.
Q: Explain genome. A: abbreviation of gender and gnome.
Q: Explain momentum. A: a brief moment.
Q: How can we prove that radiation-treated food is safe? A: by eating some.
Q: What does a transformer do? A: It can go from robot to sports car in three seconds.
Q: Give a reason why people would want to live near a power line. A: You get your electricity faster.
Q: Change 7/8 into a decimal. A: 7.8
Q: To change centimeters to meters you... A: take out the centi.
Q: What is conditional probability? A: maybe, maybe not.
Q: What is the splitting formula? A: boy meets girl; boy meets another girl; girl finds out about other girl = the splitting formula.
Q: What is a random variable? A: Someone with multiple personalities.
Q: What is a discrete random variable? Give an example. A: It is a person that hides at a corner at parties. Similar to the wallpaper but a bit more unpredictable after a few drinks.
Q: Explain the term wholesaler. A: Someone who sells you whole items, eg whole cake.
Q: What guarantees might a mortgage company insist on when you want to buy a house? A: They may check to see whether you are well-endowed before allowing the purchase.
Q: What happens during a census? A: During the census, a man goes from door to door and increases the population.
Q: What is a computer virus? A: an STD. A systematically transmitted disease.
Q: Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone system? A: It doesn't come with a chair.
Q: What is hacking? A: a really bad cough.
Q: What is a network? A: When you chat to people you don't like in order to try and get a job.
Q: What does the phrase case study mean? A: It is the process whereby you sit and stare at your suitcase before you go on a trip but not knowing what to pack.
Q: Who said I think Therefore I Am? A: I did.
Q: What is pastoral farming? A: It's a farm run by reverends.
Q: What does lava mean? A: a pre-pubescent caterpillar.
Q: Which artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red Seas? A: The Sewage Canal.
Q: What was the main industry of Persia? A: Cats.
Q: The race of people known as Malays come from which country? A: Malaria.
Q: Name the smaller rivers that run into the Nile. A: Juveniles.
Q: What are rift valleys? A: Valleys fallen out after argument.
Q: Why was the Berlin Wall built? A: Germany was competing with China.
Q: Explain autocracy. A: Country with lots of cars.
Q: Upon ascending the throne, the first thing that Queen Elizabeth II did was to... A: Sit down.
Q: What was the biggest threat to world peace in the 1980s? A: Heavy metal rock music...because it was very loud and noisy.
Q: What is having only one spouse called? A: Monotony.
Q: What were Jesus' closest group of followers known as? A: The Decibels.
Q: State two major world religions. A: The Force in Star Wars, and football.
Q: What is a pilgrimage? A: It is when lots of people wander off in the same direction for no apparent reason.
Q: Name the successor of the First Roman Emperor. A: The Second Roman Emperor.
Q: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death? A: Suspicious ones.
Q: Name one of Abraham Lincoln's greatest achievements. A: Having his face carved in rock.

Link

My choice this Christmas...

either Lonely this Christmas by Elvis...



or Bhangra version of Jingle Bells...



Wife and Cheng are now with Mariya and Sosha in Mulu Caves, Sarawak; Nee in Dubai and Beng and Dot in PJ. Will be attending a dinner for old folks in Pusing on Christmas day, a sign of the times.
Link

Things you should have learnt by now

Things you should have learned by the time you have reached Middle age...

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

You should not confuse your career with your life.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: 'Take two aspirin' and 'Keep away from children'.

A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Last but not least: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Link

My wife's impression of Dubai

With a daughter undergoing training in Dubai, provided with a serviced apartment and a company car, SP could not resist asking a sister to accompany her to pay her a visit.

Her sister's husband asked, 'What did you do in Dubai in one whole week? I went there for golf and it took me just half a day to see it all!'

Well, they went to visit (almost mandatory) Burj Khalifa, the world's largest, if not still the tallest, tower in the world. They went on a desert safari and a camel ride, besides shopping in the mega malls.

With huge revenues from oil, their PM when interviewed on television, said 'Arab Spring' would not happen in United Arab Emirates because they looked after the people well. SP could not get over a country being tax-free, duty-free, even free carparks, and almost crime-free because the goldsmith shops are without security guards. The other notable absence was dogs in a predominantly Muslim country. The expressways are super wide, with 6 lanes on each side, and brightly lid at night all the way. Being a rich and duty-free country, all kinds of luxury cars could be found. Even in the car park of the serviced apartments could be found Ferraris and Porches. Taxis using topline BMWs and Mercs are common. So it was small wonder our daughter is provided with a Mazda 6! Petrol costs less than Rm1 per litre and tolls are collected electronically using smart tags presumably.

With more than 40% of the population consisting of Indians, it was unsurprising for her to describe, 'Every other person you see is an Indian!' The local Emaratis comprise less than that! When a security guard was asked, 'I'm Nepalese. All the guards here (in the company) are Nepalese.' With better remuneration packages, maids are better educated and trained and Filipinos and Indonesians are common. Service from grocers include free delivery even for just a packet of milk!
Link

An analogy

The Bird Feeder

-Written by a British Citizen after the London Riots...

I bought a bird feeder.. I hung it on my patio and filled it lovingly with seed... It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the Continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the bird sh * t. It was everywhere; on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table ...everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal...

Now let's see ... our government give out free food, subsidised housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the millions. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for the free services; small flats are housing 5 or more families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by a doctor in an emergency surgery because it is filled with illegal non tax payers; your child's year 12 class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'The Union Jack' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Its just my opinion but:

maybe, just maybe, it's time for the government to take down the damn bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the sh*t!
Link

Young Paul McCartney in town?

Bulgarians Mariya and Sasho at Kopitiam Kaya, Restoran Jejantas Sg. Buloh, this morning. Friends of Cheng, fresh from KLIA, on our way to Batu Gajah.
Link

ABU + UBA = Ubah?

As if responding to Najib's fondness for initials and acronyms, the opposition has come out with initials which might effect change to our Malaysian political scene...

ABU: 'Anything But Umno' or 'Asal Bukan Umno'
http://malaysia-today.net/mtcolumns/43340-abu-anything-but-umno-or-asal-bukan-umno

Dr. Jeffrey Kitingan announces formation of UBA or United Borneo Alliance
http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v5/newspolitic.php?id=634771

But an influential political commentator thinks otherwise...

Only Ku Li can put Malaysia on right footing
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/2011/12/17/only-ku-li-can-put-msia-on-right-footing/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed
utm_campaign=Feed%3A+mycenews+%28MyCen+News%29

Why only Ku Li? Many people who were impressed with Ku Li's objective statements recently have questioned why his loyalty remains with Umno. How could he expect people to accept him as PM if ever Pakatan wins when he cannot even decide which side he wants to be on? Ku Li had his quest for power within Umno and later under S46 but lost, and now it is Anwar's turn to try to achieve what Ku Li had failed. I think it would be hard for leaders in Pakatan to accept Ku Li as if there are no leaders worthy to become PM of Malaysia. I can understand the writer's views based on Malaysia's unique circumstances, but surely a popular choice by the people is not necessarily unacceptable to the Malay rulers. The political reality is such that the majority of the voters are Malays and the PM is expected to be a Malay. The only thing I can think of is that a new government with stated objectives of transparency and accountability might mean tighter controls on expenses which are deemed pompous and superfluous, something our Rulers might not be accustomed to.
Link

Rubbish thy neighbour...

seems to be the motto of my neighbour because his own place is spic and span...

(Click for bigger image)

The items seen in the above picture of what we see in front of our house are his creations:

the plot of unsightly but useful (to them) plants and a barrel, the unwanted 'mother-in-law's tongue' just taken out of a pot, the freshly cut palm leaves, and the pigeons (early birds, not yet the full force) waiting for their daily grains thrown on our side of the road. The bird shit accumulated over time can be seen on the blue roof below the electric cable.


Link

Wedding splurge: West lost to the East

But the glamour of the stars is still priceless...

Top 10 Most Expensive Weddings

For these folks, if their wedding day(s) weren't the happiest days of their lives, then something is seriously wrong. If you thought your wedding was astronomical, try these top ten of the most extravagant weddings to date ranging from $2 million to $78 million dollars where broadcasting your wedding vows to the world is as important as showing the lining of your wallet.

10. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ($2 million)


They are still together, almost 6 years later, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and they come in at number 10 on the top ten list of grandest weddings of all time. After Tom proposed to Katie on the top of the Eiffel Tower, 19 months before the wedding date, they were married in Italy at the 15th century castle, Odescalchi Castle in Rome on November 18th, 2006. Giorgio Armani designed all the apparel for the bridal party and Andrea Boccelli gave a musical performance. The wedding was attended by 150 guests. The couple honeymooned in Maldives following the elaborate wedding event.

9. Paul McCartney and Heather Mills ($3 million)


Fireworks, grand feasting and dancers dressed in Indian costume performed for Paul McCartney and Heather Mill wedding in 2001. The $3 million dollar wedding ceremony took place in County, Monaghan, Ireland. The ceremony was held in St. Salvador Church and the reception took place at Castle Leslie with 300 guests. Heather Mills wore a dress she herself fashioned and carried roses named after her husband. They honeymooned at a private island in Seychelles. They spent their first evening on a $20 million yacht for $19,000 a night.

8. Liza Minnelli and David Gest ($3.5 million)

Held at the Manhattan Collegiate Church in 2002, with 850 wedding guests, the wedding was a monumental event with guests including Natalie Cole singing Unforgettable, a 60-piece orchestra also kept the guests entertained along with Tony Bennett. The wedding included a $40,000 6-foot, 12-tier cake, a staff of 500 and a bill of over $700,000 in flowers.

7. Elizabeth Hurley &Arun Nayar ($7 million)


Wed on June 29, 2006, Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar, an Indian businessman married in a 15th century castle in Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire in Britain. The festivities lasted for 8 days across the 2 continents of Europe and Asia. The proceedings began at Sudeley and then the wedding party traveled to Umaid Bhawan Palace in Jodhpur, India. The palace suite cost $10,000 a night.

6. DelphineArnault and Alessandro VallarinoGancia ($7 million)

Who said a bride isn't worth it, especially when she is the daughter of the wealthy French businessman, Bernard Arnault? Her fancy dress was fashioned by the famous designer, John Galliano. It certainly was a price you will not find on the racks at David Bridal either. Add to a wealthy bride a wealthy groom with a family with a wine dynasty business and you got a splendid party, with of course, plenty of fine wines. They couple wed in 2005 at the Cote dAzur in France. The venue was decorated with 5,000 white roses. Harper Bazaar called it the Wedding of the Year.

5. Wayne Rooney & Coleen McLoughlin ($15 million)

Okay if that previous wedding bill wasn't enough to impress you, try doubling that with a few little extras and you have got the wedding of Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLaughlin at $15 million. Colleen McLoughlin, a television presenter/product endorser plus a Manchester United/England football star resulted not only in an expensive wedding but an interesting one at that. The 4 day wedding ceremony took place in Villa Durazzo in Portofino Italy on June 12, 2008. With stunning views of the Italian Rivera on a yacht with 64 guests flown in on five different private jets, the ambiance was beautiful. After spending almost $4 million dollars on a dress designed by Georgia Chapman Marchesa label, guests had to wonder if the budget had run out after being served pizza for the reception. In the end, they were able to cut costs of $5 million by allowing Britain's OK! Magazine to publish exclusive information and pictures about the event, that is, after the pizza was served.

4. Vikram Chatwal and Priva Sachdey ($20 million)

Let us make it an even 20 after 15, that is, $20 mil, and then everything will be up to par for the wedding of Vikram Chatwal, son of a New York hotel magnet and a jet-setting hotelier and actor and for his model/actress/investment banker bride, Priya Sachdey (who ever said a man couldn't have it all). The wedding took place on February 18, 2006 and is known as one of the most luxurious weddings ever in all of India. Bill Clinton was on the guest list along with many other well-known, high-powered people. The wedding took place over 10 days and was spread across 3 cities in India (Mumbai, Udaipur, and Delhi). There were 600 guests from 26 countries who were all retrieved for the event on chartered jets.

3. Miss Yugoslavia Aleksandra Kokotovic and Andrey Melnichenko ($30 million)

Topping a $20 million dollar wedding isn't easy but for Miss Yugoslavia Aleksandra Kokotovic and Andrey Melnichenko, it wasn't hard with a $30 million dollar extravaganza that made history in world famous weddings. Andrey Melnichenko, the Russian billionaire and founder of MDM Bank and the Serbian model, Miss Yugoslavia Aleksandra Kokotovic married in Cote D Azur, France on September 3, 2005. There were performances by Christina Aguilera and Whitney Houston for a full house of guests of the rich and famous. The singers alone cost $3.6 million each to perform.

2. Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum and Princess Salama ($44.5 million)


The Arabs really know how to have a wedding party and especially the ruler of Dubai who married Princess Salama in 1981. The wedding earned a place in the Forbes list of Billionaire Weddings. A stadium was built just for the occasion to entertain 20,000 guests for 7 days of luxury.

1. Vanisha Mittal &Amit Bhatia ($78 million)


The Indians, however, outshined the Arabs on November 18, 2004 when Vanisha Mittal and Amit Bhatia wed in what is recorded as the most expensive wedding in history. 1,000 guests from around the world attended after each had received a 20-page silver card to the event which included all the lavish details of the entire venue that lasted for 5 days. The party took place at the finest chateau and garden in France, the 17th century, Vaux le Vicomte. The bride, Vanisha Mittal, daughter to the steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal and Amit Bhatia, the investment banker wed in sheer riches. A performance by Kylie Minogue the pop singer was the high-lighted attraction to the event. 100 different dishes were prepared by a top Calcutta Chef and the wine cost $1.5 million. The costs of everything else we leave to your imagination!

Weddings are a happy time for all, especially for the guests who were able to attend the top ten most expensive weddings in history. Of these wedding events, the real two questions are who is still together and who will be next to top the list?


Link

Kim Quek on MACC's explanation on Cowgate

"Many people may be wondering why the Malaysian Anti Corruption Commission (MACC) washed its hands off the investigation of the National Feedlot Center (NFC) scandal and passed the buck to the police...

More:
Condos merely one link in Cowgate chain
by Kim Quek

http://english.cpiasia.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2279:condos-merely-one-link-in-cowgate-chain-&catid=178:yong-thye-chong&Itemid=193

Now we know why people describe it as Malaysian Agency for Covering-up Corruption or MA Sissy...

(Don't worry I'll cover your back)
Link

Zaid Ibrahim on "1Melayu, 1Bumi: What's wrong with it?"

This article was forwarded with subject title 'UTUSAN MALAYSIA WILL NOT PRINT THIS - WE WILL'

When Khir Toyo gave his undivided support for the 1 Melayu 1 Bumi idea, he asked what was wrong with it. Many things are wrong with it. Firstly, if the idea is that we need a movement to “unify” all Malays and Bumiputera under one political party (which is UMNO, presumably) it will not happen; not now, not ever. Malays are not sheep that will follow the likes of Ibrahim Ali and Khir Toyo without thinking.

There have been Malay leaders in UMNO who have tried since Merdeka to get this kind of narrow racial unity going, but to no avail. Indeed, they came up with their idea of “unity” not because they genuinely cared about the welfare of the Malays; but to sustain their race-based party which is the only political model they know. They are not prepared to change. They are not prepared to meet the changing world with honest courage. They are not brave enough to admit that their model of “unity” does not work. So, when the Malays support or join other parties, these politicians will cry wolf and create fear with race and religion. In the words of Khir Toyo: “For the Malay people themselves, the voting pattern of the Chinese and the policy of the DAP, which seems to be anti-everything that involves the interests of the Bumiputera and the religion of Islam, are clear indicators that there already is a wave that wants to empower the Chinese race in politics after they have taken control of the economy.”

What control? What power? What leaders like Khir Toyo and Ibrahim Ali fail to understand is that political power is not everything. Even without this recent “unity call”, the Malays are already in complete political control.

More than two-thirds of the Cabinet is Malay. Even the Barisan Nasional is just a coalition in name, and the way the Government does things shows that UMNO is not “first amongst equals” but, simply, “first”. And this happens not just in the Federal Government: more than two-thirds of Parliamentarians are Malay or Bumiputera. The Sultans are Malay. All except one of the Menteri Besar and Chief Ministers are Malay-Bumiputera. Eighty-five percent of the Civil Service are Malay, including the diplomatic corps and the educational and judicial services. The Armed Forces and Police are composed primarily of Malays. Rela members are mostly Malay. And what about the claim that the Chinese are in sole control of the economy? Have Khir Toyo and Ibrahim Ali forgotten about Government-Linked Companies (GLCs) such as Maybank, PETRONAS, Telekom Malaysia, TNB, Khazanah Nasional, PNB, Media Prima, Felda, Sime Darby, and many others, the vast majority of which are owned by the Government and managed by Malay-Bumiputera? The G-20 group of largest listed GLCs alone possess RM353 billion (around half) of the market capitalisation of the entire Bursa Malaysia and owned by GLCs controlled by UMNOputra. NEP asked for 30 %.

Are we to believe that, despite all this, the Malays and Bumiputera are still not in power? What more control do people like Khir Toyo want?

We Malays do not need to control more than what we already have. Instead, we need to have a competitive spirit coupled with the right work attitudes and values. Individuals, not corporations, need more capital and know-how. We need to harness our entrepreneurial spirit. We need to have the right educational options so that we understand the history of our nation properly—so we understand the meaning of democracy, rights and freedom. Then, and only then, will we learn to be at peace with others in the country and face the changes taking place around us.

None of these things requires us to have more control over anything other than our own abilities. In fact, the kind of “control” that Khir Toyo wants is partly the cause of the dependency syndrome amongst the Malays, which encourages us to feel that we are entitled to special treatment all the time.

To look at it from the another perspective: if people like Khir Toyo and Ibrahim Ali were right, and control is indeed central to the advancement of the Malays, then surely the Malays would have grown very advanced in education technology and finance after all these years of control. So, if Malays remain poor and uncompetitive today—if we still lack capital and business opportunities—then it is the duty of responsible political leaders to identify the real root causes of these deficiencies.

Can Khir Toyo and others like him explain to the Malays what can be achieved in this regard if, say, PAS joined UMNO? What benefits will Malay political unity bring to the education system? What reforms will it bring for a better administration of the country? Will there be less corruption if there is more Malay control than there already is?

No, because the lack of Malay unity and political control is not the root cause of these problems. It is not even remotely related to these problems at all. In fact, if there were more of the control that Khir Toyo and his kind want, there will be more of the dependency syndrome, more insecurity, more feelings of entitlement without having to strive for anything through education and honest work. These so-called “leaders” must stop crying wolf and start looking at ways to help improve what is clearly a terrible situation. They must help the Malays and Bumiputera identify opportunities and make best use of them according to their abilities, and if these abilities are not enough, then these leaders must help improve them. They must help students get a better education and skills through better teachers and lecturers.

It is straightforward, but it requires hard work and not empty rhetoric. The call for “control” and “unity” does nothing except sweep the need for real work under the carpet.

The real enemies of the Malays are ignorance and lack of knowledge. Those leaders who demand “unity” and “control” should look in the mirror and ask: “Is this really the best I can do for my people?”

Zaid Ibrahim
Link

The Bill which even Bill Gates cannot qualify

"If passed, this Bill will be the first in the world that compels computing professionals to be registered, appraised and confirmed by a board of professionals in order to be allowed to conduct their trade in IT projects that are considered Critical National Information Infrastructure (CNII)."

"People like Mark Zuckenberg and Bill Gates would not be able to conduct their development work for any IT project in Malaysia, because they do not have a degree to show for it. Smart or silly - let the citizens decide!"

Indirect way to regulate the alternative e-media?

"There is also speculation that the CPA11 is a cover for the BN to clamp down on the online and opposition media, using the far-ranging and awesomely discretionary scope of the law to get at the alternative e-press. At the rate the BN is going, soon even bloggers may have to reigister and seek approval before they can put up a page in cyberspace."

Source: Malaysia Chronicle
http://www.malaysia-chronicle.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=24606:what-a-disaster-government-even-it-pros-unspared-in-bns-rush-for-oppressive-laws&Itemid=2

I also see it as government's way of enabling local graduates to be recognized for government and other local projects, much like how established professional bodies in accounting, architecture, engineering, law, medicine, surveying, and so on, were sidelined in favour of newly established and government sanctioned bodies. No matter how well known a professional is in his own field, he has to comply with such requirements before he can practise here.

We have seen how America's relatively greater freedom in expression in an environment which favours innovation and inventions has produced such greats as Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Larry Page (Google) and Mark Zuckenberg (Facebook). The Bill is likely to stifle and discourage potentially innovative minds in favour of mindless copycats.

Link

From a voter's point of view

What do voters look for during an election?

To begin with, not all eligible voters would turn up at election centres to vote, for reasons like being out of town, overseas, or simply could not be bothered who wins.

With BN's deep pockets, some voters actually look forward to receiving some cash in exchange for their votes, but who they actually vote for would remain a secret... unless the voting slips have been marked for scrutiny after the election.

If the candidates are relatively unknown to the voters, party symbols are important to voters when voting. Some voters are hardcore supporters of a party and any candidate selected will be supported. Other voters are more discerning and they scrutinize the candidates' credentials before deciding who to vote for. Qualifications, party or social work track record, character and personality are important criteria to base on. Personal political beliefs and how far a candidate is prepared to go to stand by his convictions despite harassment and jail sentence would endear him to the voters. It is therefore unsurprising to see opposition leaders who had been into the slammer could win votes easily. They are portrayed as having strong character and who cannot be easily cowed by the authorities. YAB Lim Guan Eng stood out as a good example of someone who was jailed unreasonably and who is now Chief Minister of Penang!

Most of us do not have the privilege of voting for candidates of our choice because the candidates who stand for election are selected by their parties and depend on where we are registered as voters. It would take a determined person to actually move his address to where his favourite candidate will stand for election. Even that does not guarantee him that privilege because the person might not be selected by his party!

To most of us, we have already decided which party or coalition to support, and unless the local candidate is such an obnoxious character or a personal enemy, chances are that we will vote according to party symbol. Some would make an exception to this party loyalty rule where an independent candidate or a candidate from a party not of our choice happens to be someone we admire.

I had come across people who suggested that we vote BN at state level for development, but to vote opposition candidate as MP to enable him or her to voice out at national level. I believe certain BN candidates for state seats could have used this ruse to improve their chances when the sentiments were unfavourable to them. This perception of BN for development had been reinforced by years of BN's unfair allocation of development funds to only BN representatives. Development funds for opposition representatives are channeled to the local district office for distribution, which to all intent and purposes, are also under the control of BN.

Najib's unethical 'you help me to help you' distribution of goodies during campaign periods at by-elections had proven the advantage of having a strong opposition. It was because of the fear of losing that BN had to resort to bribing the voters. In other words, had it been a very safe BN seat, then they will not have to resort to such blatant offers of cash and kind. The most common and obvious signs of instant development are the re-surfacing of roads, cutting of grass and clearing of clogged drains. Najib had taken it even further by promising millions in development provided his candidate wins!


Link

Squat, don't sit, when you shit

“Shit! I've just converted my squatting toilet bowl to a sitting one, to facilitate the older folks...” commented my friend who forwarded this information.

Change your toilet so you can heal constipation (and many other health problems)
by Stephanie Relfe B.Sc.

You may find this information incredible - but read on. It may begin to make sense once you get used to the idea.

Believe it or not, the current toilet seat is a comparatively new invention. It was developed in the Industrial revolution by people who thought it was more 'dignified' to sit on a 'throne' than the way the natives did. However, many doctors at the time were worried about this causing health problems because it went against nature.

If you have ever felt, as many, many people do, that after you have evacuated, there is still something left, here is the reason:

The anal canal is UNSTRAIGHTENED when seated. Bowel evacuation when seated results frequently in OBSTRUCTIVE CONSTIPATION. Adopt a relaxed, FULL SQUAT POSTURE and the anal canal STRAIGHTENS.

This obviously can help constipation. Months later other health improvements can happen, due to your body being free of extra toxins. Also, bladder function may improve after several months bec au se of an improved pelvic floor nerve supply.

Oncologists have observed that 80% of colon cancers occur in the caecum and the sigmoid colon, the two areas that are not fully evacuated in the sitting posture. This causes fecal stagnation and probably explains why colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths in the United States . In traditional Asian and African cultures where squatting is the norm, colon cancer is virtually unknown!

Most hemorrhoids will heal without relapse when, upon urge, the squat posture is adopted for bowel movements.

Another serious condition caused by sitting to evacuate instead of squatting is the leakage of wastes into the small intestine. This affects the ileo-caecal valve, which is considered by modern medicine to be inherently flawed because it is so often leaking. Ask a kinesiologist and they will most likely tell you that the ileo-caecal correction is one of the most common corrections that needs to be done. Also, the toxins get into the bloodstream and hence put more pressure on the liver which has to detox them.

Most sufferers usually notice significant comfort improvement within seven days of making this simple change of habit to the squat posture bec au se body wastes pass through the straightened anal canal.

There are several ways you can manage to turn your present toilet into one where you can squat:

In USA , purchase a platform from http://www.naturesplatform.com/. It is VERY sturdy and can be easily folded and put to one side. (See picture below).


So, to my friend who had just renovated his toilet, this (with extra cost) could resolve his problem!
Link

If you can't clean them, draw them instead

SCOTT WADE lives real close to a dirt road in San Marcos, Texas ....


Being an artist, instead of cleaning the dust, he creates beautiful artworks...



Link

London confuses foreigners...

Shopping in London

went to Boots; they don't sell boots...
went to Selfridges; they don't sell fridges...
went to Curry's; they don't sell curry...
went to the Apple store; they don't sell apples...
even at Blackberry they don't sell any kinda berries...
as for Virgin Megastore, what a huge disappointment!!!

I have not yet dared to go into this place but I wonder what they have to offer...



Link

MP or ADUN?

The unprecedented success of Pakatan at the last general election in 2008 provided its leaders a pleasant surprise in the form of additional states under their control. It also created problems largely due to the clamour for Exco positions among the state assemblymen in Kedah, Penang, Perak and Selangor.

Senior party leaders in DAP who stood only in parliamentary constituencies, found to their unpleasant surprise, some junior leaders being appointed Exco members with all the trappings that come with their positions. The most outstanding positions are that of Chief Minister and Deputy Chief Ministers of Penang, and Menteri Besar of Kedah, Perak (for a short period), Selangor and Kelantan. I wonder if some actually regretted not having stood for state constituencies as well, or whether they wanted to but not given the chance.

Anyway, the famous case of Hee who was sidelined in Perak and thus not given an official Camry, which led to the infamous opportunistic power grab by Najib is enough fodder for the next general election. Najib amply rewarded her with Deputy Speaker post and money she could only have dreamed of before. This case illustrated the high worth of opposition representatives to BN leaders who have the means to offer tempting and unethical proposals.

I am sure the reason why some Pakatan candidates stood for both parliamentary and state constituencies was because of the lack of suitable candidates. To have well known DAP leaders like Lim Guan Eng, Prof. Ramasamy, Ngeh Koo Ham, Nga Kor Ming and Teresa Kok, for example, was meant to improve the chances of winning, which they did. According to the latest statement by DAP chairman, Karpal Singh, with the exception of LGE, all other candidates will be offered one candidacy only, either parliamentary or state.

If given a choice, it can be quite a difficult one for any candidate who is ambitious. The past elections had shown the better chance of winning a state and therefore, a chance to be an Exco member. However, depending on whether one is optimistic or not, the next GE could see Pakatan winning, and end BN rule for the first time ever. Being a Pakatan MP is looking to be attractive because he or she stands a chance to be a Minister in the federal cabinet!
Link

Elton John's baby: fact vs fiction

This is probably true:

Sir Elton John has been named as the father on the birth certificate for his new son Zachary, ending speculation as to whether he or husband David Furnish is the biological father of the little boy, born by a surrogate mother.

Source:
http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/04/elton-john-baby-biological-father/

This is the spin to have a good laugh:

Elton John and David Furnish wanted a baby.

They had their sperm mixed together and a surrogate mother was artificially inseminated.

When the baby was born Elton and David were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of them crying and screaming.

In the corner, one baby was lying serenely. A nurse came over to both of them and indicated that the happy child was theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Elton said to David. "All these crying babies...and yet our baby is so content. This just proves the superiority of gay love!"

The nurse said, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the pacifier out of his ass...."




Link

Adoption

I see the natural baby being sidelined and left out in the cold!


I also see it politically in a race-based party too.
Link

Julian Assange: No OS is ever truly safe...

but as is usual, ignorance is bliss. Let the high techies worry about it until it hit us personally...

'Carrier IQ is bad news. We have spent much ink covering and debating the maliciousness of this pre-installed service which hides itself in the background of some Android devices, collects user information, and then sends it back to carriers. However according to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, Carrier IQ is just the tip of the iceberg as most smartphones can be hacked remotely "with ease." At a recent speech, Assange stated point blank that anyone with an iPhone, BlackBerry or Gmail account was "screwed." While Assange didn't mention Android by name in his introductory speech, our favorite operating system is indeed referenced in some Wikileaks' reports. No OS is ever truly safe after all.'

'Following the release of "The Spy Files," a cache of 287 documents which detail "the reality of the international mass surveillance industry" spanning 25 countries, Assange explained that over 150 organizations are able to remotely control all aspects of a smartphone, including reading messages, sending "fake" messages, viewing browsing history, reading emails, and monitoring phone calls. These private organizations could then sell the information wholesale to governments or other partners.'

Source:
http://www.androidpolice.com/2011/12/02/carrier-iq-is-just-the-tip-of-the-iceberg-wikileaks-founder-reveals-that-smartphones-can-easily-be-hacked/
Link