The Theory:
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction.
Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take it out or pour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!
Couple of years ago, on different days over a period of a few weeks when we were not around, my neighbour trimmed; cut down; and later carted away; a palm I planted outside our house. I did not react.
Over another period of time, he told his gardener to spray weedkiller on to my bourgainvilla outside our house, which was obvious after a few days when the leaves dried up. But it grew back. He did it a few times. Still I did not react.
He encroached on land facing our house instead of their own, to plant things useful to them but unsightly to be planted on their side. Still I did not react.
He put trimmed branches and palm leaves in front of our house instead of theirs. He even burnt the dried branches and leaves there instead of doing it in front of their own house. Still I did not react.
He believes feeding pigeons will bring wealth and good karma. But he instructs his maid to throw the grains on the road... in front of our house instead! Won't that bring blessings to us instead? But in the meantime, we have over a hundred pidgeons waiting on our roof top, on electric and telephone cables, during feeding time. Where we park our cars would depend on where they are likely to be ie. avoid parking under the wires. I dread the day when there is a health warning on bird flu.
In my own way, I had been using Taichi to avoid arguments, and to follow the 90/10 principle, maybe I should thank him each time for what he did to me!
2 comments:
By the way are you god?
It would be helpful if you could identify yourself, otherwise a mere mortal like myself would not know who I am dealing with. I could have chosen not to publish and just ignore your comment.
It may seem incredible that a neighbour could do so many things without any response from me. There are all kinds of people in this world and different actions by different people will get different reactions too. Just take my word for what I have stated, after all I am not claiming something incredibly noble. Just try to avoid quarrels which might lead to more problems.
Would you believe others cannot park outside their house even though on public road? Ask the students who did. All these can be substantiated if and when you want evidence!
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