Coming to terms with being Old...

A friend who is 60 said he always think he is 25. I know of some retirees who are fond of criticizing women's appearance while not realizing they are not in their former youthful forms. Which is why sometimes, we should look at ourselves in the mirror before we think of being critical.

Some signs of getting old come in the form of how you are being addressed. Many years ago, strangers called you 'brother', then came the first time when someone called you 'uncle' and you might not realize it at first!

In Chinese, Cantonese for instance, there is even a distinction when you upgrade from being called 'ah sook' to 'ah park' which rightfully should mean you are younger or older (respectfully) than the caller's father! Until you come across those who are not educated in English who are used to calling people like you 'uncle' when they are of your age! That's when you lose self confidence by a few notches.

But then again, we should understand that in Chinese custom, there are some who would call you older out of respect! My third sister-in-law used to call me 6th uncle just like how her children would call me, even though she is 10 years older! I think most of us would opt for not having this kind of respect, don't you think so?

By the way, some of us Chinese are still uncomfortable with westerners calling their fathers and mothers by name. The following are some stuff forwarded to me which most people would have come across them:

Some advantages of being old:

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them.

Sex manual for old Dummies:

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want... the neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

'OLD' IS WHEN... you should know your own limitations and need new meanings to old sayings:
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

You cannot take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

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