How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Government fed by the people

Career options

Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Friday, February 08, 2008

Actual situational jokes

On our way back from Sitiawan, a bridal car passed by and I commented, “Another fool rushes in”.

As we were coming back, after a visit to a bird’s nest dealer, our prospective British buyer said there are swifts in Britain but they don’t have this kind of stuff, and I told him, “Even the swifts in Britain are polite – they don’t spit!” My wife actually told a swift-keeper how lucky he is, “each time a swift spits out, it is $money to you”.

A few years ago, a Chinese lady police officer joked about when she was in charge of a rape case. The alleged Chinese rapist, who could not understand Bahasa Malaysia, was bewildered when the victim was told to ‘tolong sifatkan…’ He asked the police officer, “Why was the reference to ‘sifat’ as he did not do anything to her backside?”

The other night, I was watching TV news and I cringed when the Malay lady reader mentioned the name, ‘Thirunama’. I was told Lingam in Tamil means something similar to Bhutto in Malay!

Already T-shirts with ‘Lingam was speaking to me’ selling like hot cakes. Others: ‘Looks and sounds like me, BUT… so does Brad Pitt LAH!’ ‘BUMPED into HIM> in Changi (He’s just tagging along)’ ‘Correct Correct Correct’
New T-shirts should have ‘the person who looks and sounds like Lingam spoke to Me’.

One of the coffee shops we frequent for breakfast is called ‘Foo Kee’ and each time I mention that name when I tell a friend where I am (over the phone), at least one or two persons will turn to look at me.

For those who understand Hakka dialect:

A middle-aged widow who is a rubber tapper has been going out with a married man. Friends and relatives warned her that he might be after her money. Her reply: “Ngai yew lui pin ki ngak? Chi pet mau chu yew ki tiau ng kian hoi!”

Before this, as an example of her foul language: “su yun san hei how toh moon, oh took ngiau kum meh chi pet marn hoi moon.”

Perhaps I will leave it to Hakkas to translate the last two jokes.

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