Changing family values

This year’s Petronas advert on tv seems to play on today’s reality against good old-fashioned family values.

I was brought up in a big family with extended families living under one roof, for most of my growing up impressionable years. I am second youngest, but felt and treated like the youngest. My baby sister died when she was only 4 years old because of kidney failure. My oldest nephew is only 5 years younger than me and his eldest son is only a month younger than my eldest! His second son married two years ago and he is a grandfather now!

Anyway, in those days, our house was a hive of activities. I can still picture my mother with endless household chores, helped by my second sister and my sisters-in-law. When my nephews and nieces were small, baby cries were common. It is a wonder how our selective memory can remember certain events that happened many years ago yet be absent-minded like forgetting a few things which we are supposed to bring.

Now, baby cries, cock crows and certain classical Chinese tunes (heard from Redifusion days) always bring back memories of my teenage days. Each time I mentioned about a certain baby cry which reminded me of a certain nephew or niece, my wife complained that I did not mention about my own children’s! The big difference or reason was nostalgia.

When traveling at night, passing by dimly lit lone village houses amid trees, reminds me of our house on a two-acre land with some rubber and fruit trees before sheds were erected for workshops. Middle of the night, wherever and whenever I could hear the hum of Land Rover vehicle passing by, it reminds me of those army vehicles passing our compound to and from Batu Cantonment, in KL.

Whenever I watched Hong Kong tv serials, which usually have many family members interacting, I am reminded of my growing up years. I am one of those so-called “dying breed” who values family relationships more than anything else. Yet, I am a failure because I find I was unable to please everybody! Every action or inaction could cause problems and elicit criticisms. I have come to the conclusion that I might as well please myself!

Many people, especially those who are so busy with their work or business, may not realise our different roles as a son, husband, father, brother and so on. To further complicate matters, we have in-laws too, which creates problem of which side to spend the Chinese New Year reunion, for instance. The choice of location of work or business and home is another point of contention.

The Petronas advert (in Hokien for a change and therefore more endearing to me) shows a group of old ladies in an old folks' home. One of them said her son is a doctor in London, a cardiologist (had difficulty pronouncing the word) who can earn 20,000 pounds sterling for one operation. Sometimes, he could manage 2 operations a day!

Old lady B was seen using her fingers to work out the amount, probably in terms of ringgit, with an impressed expression

Old lady C did not want to lose out, said her son is a lawyer in a very big firm earning lots of money.

Old lady D was quick to point out that her daughter works in a very big accounting firm, but could not remember the name. Nevertheless, she earns 450,000 ringgit a year!

Then one of them turned to old lady B and asked, “what about your son?”

She replied, “my son is coming to pick me” and continued, “quite troublesome actually, every time he wants to go sight-seeing somewhere, he will come and take me along”. Just then, a Proton Iswara Aeroback draws near and one of them asked, “who is that?”

While getting ready to go, Lady B replied, “that’s my son, he is here to pick me.”

“Where are we going today?” Lady B asked her son who is with his wife and 2 children, and he replied, “Cameron”. The other ladies were silent with envy.

So who is the lucky one then?