Years ago, in Leeds, I was told that Chinese were welcome into any of the local casinos. Some students actually went in to test if it was true and they got a free drink and some sandwiches. Some high rollers get frequent offers of free air tickets and accommodation from big casinos in Los Angeles and Macau, for instance. Such was the reputation of the gambling traits of Chinese all over the world.
I have just received an Irish joke (more like a joke on Irishmen) forwarded to me, which has a certain twist to it. It is quite similar to the old lady who betted with her bank manager.
The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Paddy shows up with his solicitor.
The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable.'
'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Paddy. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. You're on!'
Paddy says, 'I'll bet you a thousand pound that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'No way! It's a bet.'
Paddy removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Paddy says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand pound that I can bite my other eye.'
The auditor can tell Paddy isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Paddy removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realises he has bet and lost three thousand quid, with Paddy's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Would you like to go double or nothing?' Paddy asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand pound that I can stand on one side of your desk and piss into that rubbish bin on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way Paddy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Paddy stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he strains for all his worth, he can't make the stream reach the bin on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a big win.
But Paddy's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Paddy told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me 20,000 pounds that he could come in here and piss all over your desk - and that you'd be happy about it.'
Government fed by the people
Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.
Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?
When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.
Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)
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