One night 4 MBA students were boozing till late night and did not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning, they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and wierd as they could with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone to a wedding dinner the night before and on their return, a tyre of their car punctured and they had to push the car all the way back. They pleaded that they were in no condition to take the test.
The Dean was a just person. So he agreed for them to take another test after 3 days. They said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day, they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that this test could be done only if they agreed to a special condition. All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
All of them agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks:
Q.1. Write down your name. (2 marks)
Q.2. Which tyre had punctured? (98 marks)
Government fed by the people
Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.
Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?
When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.
Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
Right attitude makes the difference
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,"Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like. "The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.
In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.
They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The holy man said, "I don't understand."
It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires just one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.
Moral: "Its people's attitude that makes this earth, a hell or heaven to them!!"
In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.
They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The holy man said, "I don't understand."
It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires just one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.
Moral: "Its people's attitude that makes this earth, a hell or heaven to them!!"
Water load of rubbish?
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia Coli Bacteria (often called E.Coli) found in water that contains faeces.
In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit. However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, wine or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermentation.
It is my duty to communicate to all of you people who are drinking water, to stop doing so. It has been scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and bad for you.
THEREFORE…It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit than to drink water and be full of shit!!!
YAM SENG!!!
In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit. However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, wine or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermentation.
It is my duty to communicate to all of you people who are drinking water, to stop doing so. It has been scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and bad for you.
THEREFORE…It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit than to drink water and be full of shit!!!
YAM SENG!!!
Promises were meant to be broken
I have often heard tenants promising my dad that at any time he wants them to vacate, they will do so. How naïve we had been as events turned out.
My dad died in 1982 and by 1985 we decided to issue eviction notices to all the tenants. One or two had been with us for more than 25 years. Perhaps their rationale was that the promise was given to the old man and not to his children.
My dad had been very kind by charging his ‘lou kawan’ or old friends, below market rates, some even less than a third that charged by a neighbouring landowner. For eg. for a lot size of 18’x30’, we were charging only Rm150 when the neighbour was charging about Rm500. Our reliance on the tenants’ verbal promise costed us dearly in terms of trouble and delay, in addition to reduced earnings over the years.
With the benefit of hindsight, it was clear that our kindness in charging a low rental worked to our disadvantage. The tenants were better off not acceding to our demand to vacate because at a later date, if and when the judgement was in our favour, the double rental payable by them would still be lower than if they were to leave and find an alternate place at 3 times what they were paying then.
On the other hand, had we been more calculative, we could have increased the rentals every year until they could not take it and leave on their own accord.
Out of 14 tenants, only 3 were gentlemen enough to keep to their words. One of them happened to be a ‘taiko’ in Kepong which made us more appreciative of his gesture. Another, from Jinjang, had my admiration when he rushed to the mining pond upon hearing about our neighbour’s drowning and jumped into it without hesitation to look for the body. The third one happened to be Ha Tham’s son-in-law, also in the tractor repair business.
Among the 11 tenants who decided to contest our Notice to vacate, was a son of one of dad’s best friends, the electrician. His action was considered by those who knew the history of our relationship, to be most ungrateful.
Years after his dad refused to accept my dad’s tenancy offer of a house and workshop, he accepted a part of our own workshop to operate as a motor electrician. A place to keep his tools and charge some batteries. Initially, his dad was furious as he lost a capable assistant. Only after a few years was he appreciative of his son’s move when the latter could afford to buy a car and a house.
A tenant who was in the electro-plating business actually tried to smear our reputation. I can still remember it was a Hari Raya Haji holiday and I was in Batu Gajah (my wife and children live with my in-laws then). By the time I reached the office, I was shocked to read the Star with a headline “The long legal tussle between landlord and tenants took a turn for the worse when one of the workshops was set on fire.” It carried a photo of one of Ha Tham’s sons looking at a window and a motor oil can was below it, on the ground. The gist of the report mentioned how the tenant was about to close shop for the day when he noticed the window burning and found an empty tin and some matches. To refute the misleading report, I immediately wrote a letter to the Star which in effect said that if we had the intention to burn the place down, we would have chosen a time when there was nobody around and not even before they closed for the day! The Star published my letter but it was nothing in terms of size compared with the report and photo.
Another tenant, who was in coachbuilding business really took us for fools. On the one hand, he joined the others in the legal battle because his own premises was not ready. After having lost the final appeal at the Supreme Court, he asked if he could just pay the normal rental for the period! For some reasons, even though he was already a millionaire, he chose to be declared a bankrupt as a result of his judgment debt amounting to some Rm76,000. It was only after a few years that he regretted it, when at the airport, he was disallowed departure on an overseas trip!
An ex-classmate of mine took a special interest in his case. It was only later that I found out that he used to be their employee and since he became our tenant, was their competitor and had actually ‘potong jalan’ or took over one of their major customers. Years later, my friend had the last laugh when they secretly took over the company (Kee Hup) and terminated his services.
By the time we issued the notice to vacate, Ha Tham Engineering was under the control of his son who was a bad paymaster. Once he was taken to court when his employees complained about non-payment of EPF contributions. He was our biggest tenant in terms of rental. After the final appeal, his judgment debt totaled more than Rm160,000. Again, he rather be declared a bankrupt.
One spraypainter even commented, “I rather fight and be a bankrupt than to give in”
At the time, DAP’s Low Sek Moah was helping them. In fact, their first lawyer was Henry Lee, a DAP lawyer. Their last was Low Hop Bing who was a Federal counsel before he started his practice and now a Judge.
At the time, I was upset with the involvement of DAP. I asked Dr.Tan Chee Khoon for advice and he suggested that I see Dr Tan Seng Giaw. The latter actually told me that his party always support those who carry more votes, like in our case, the tenants. One of the things I found out about him was that he did his course in Leeds and lived near the hostel where I used to be.
Out of the 11 who contested our notice, 3 paid their judgement debts while the rest were declared bankrupts. We had to write off almost Rm500,000. The case took 5 years from Magistrate Court, High Court to Supreme Court. The action to recover judgment debts took another 3 years. Besides the time wasted, it affected me greatly in terms of my great disappointment over human relationships – so-called old friends, ingratitude, promises which meant nothing and so on. At the end, I even fell out with our lawyer, James, because of the delays, which was not his fault. But the pressure on me took its toll.
During the period when there was controversy over eviction of tenants in rent-controlled premises in Penang, I wrote to Aliran and the letter was published, highlighting our circumstances and asked whether we, as decent landlords (always perceived to be bullying), or the tenants, were the actual victims.
My dad died in 1982 and by 1985 we decided to issue eviction notices to all the tenants. One or two had been with us for more than 25 years. Perhaps their rationale was that the promise was given to the old man and not to his children.
My dad had been very kind by charging his ‘lou kawan’ or old friends, below market rates, some even less than a third that charged by a neighbouring landowner. For eg. for a lot size of 18’x30’, we were charging only Rm150 when the neighbour was charging about Rm500. Our reliance on the tenants’ verbal promise costed us dearly in terms of trouble and delay, in addition to reduced earnings over the years.
With the benefit of hindsight, it was clear that our kindness in charging a low rental worked to our disadvantage. The tenants were better off not acceding to our demand to vacate because at a later date, if and when the judgement was in our favour, the double rental payable by them would still be lower than if they were to leave and find an alternate place at 3 times what they were paying then.
On the other hand, had we been more calculative, we could have increased the rentals every year until they could not take it and leave on their own accord.
Out of 14 tenants, only 3 were gentlemen enough to keep to their words. One of them happened to be a ‘taiko’ in Kepong which made us more appreciative of his gesture. Another, from Jinjang, had my admiration when he rushed to the mining pond upon hearing about our neighbour’s drowning and jumped into it without hesitation to look for the body. The third one happened to be Ha Tham’s son-in-law, also in the tractor repair business.
Among the 11 tenants who decided to contest our Notice to vacate, was a son of one of dad’s best friends, the electrician. His action was considered by those who knew the history of our relationship, to be most ungrateful.
Years after his dad refused to accept my dad’s tenancy offer of a house and workshop, he accepted a part of our own workshop to operate as a motor electrician. A place to keep his tools and charge some batteries. Initially, his dad was furious as he lost a capable assistant. Only after a few years was he appreciative of his son’s move when the latter could afford to buy a car and a house.
A tenant who was in the electro-plating business actually tried to smear our reputation. I can still remember it was a Hari Raya Haji holiday and I was in Batu Gajah (my wife and children live with my in-laws then). By the time I reached the office, I was shocked to read the Star with a headline “The long legal tussle between landlord and tenants took a turn for the worse when one of the workshops was set on fire.” It carried a photo of one of Ha Tham’s sons looking at a window and a motor oil can was below it, on the ground. The gist of the report mentioned how the tenant was about to close shop for the day when he noticed the window burning and found an empty tin and some matches. To refute the misleading report, I immediately wrote a letter to the Star which in effect said that if we had the intention to burn the place down, we would have chosen a time when there was nobody around and not even before they closed for the day! The Star published my letter but it was nothing in terms of size compared with the report and photo.
Another tenant, who was in coachbuilding business really took us for fools. On the one hand, he joined the others in the legal battle because his own premises was not ready. After having lost the final appeal at the Supreme Court, he asked if he could just pay the normal rental for the period! For some reasons, even though he was already a millionaire, he chose to be declared a bankrupt as a result of his judgment debt amounting to some Rm76,000. It was only after a few years that he regretted it, when at the airport, he was disallowed departure on an overseas trip!
An ex-classmate of mine took a special interest in his case. It was only later that I found out that he used to be their employee and since he became our tenant, was their competitor and had actually ‘potong jalan’ or took over one of their major customers. Years later, my friend had the last laugh when they secretly took over the company (Kee Hup) and terminated his services.
By the time we issued the notice to vacate, Ha Tham Engineering was under the control of his son who was a bad paymaster. Once he was taken to court when his employees complained about non-payment of EPF contributions. He was our biggest tenant in terms of rental. After the final appeal, his judgment debt totaled more than Rm160,000. Again, he rather be declared a bankrupt.
One spraypainter even commented, “I rather fight and be a bankrupt than to give in”
At the time, DAP’s Low Sek Moah was helping them. In fact, their first lawyer was Henry Lee, a DAP lawyer. Their last was Low Hop Bing who was a Federal counsel before he started his practice and now a Judge.
At the time, I was upset with the involvement of DAP. I asked Dr.Tan Chee Khoon for advice and he suggested that I see Dr Tan Seng Giaw. The latter actually told me that his party always support those who carry more votes, like in our case, the tenants. One of the things I found out about him was that he did his course in Leeds and lived near the hostel where I used to be.
Out of the 11 who contested our notice, 3 paid their judgement debts while the rest were declared bankrupts. We had to write off almost Rm500,000. The case took 5 years from Magistrate Court, High Court to Supreme Court. The action to recover judgment debts took another 3 years. Besides the time wasted, it affected me greatly in terms of my great disappointment over human relationships – so-called old friends, ingratitude, promises which meant nothing and so on. At the end, I even fell out with our lawyer, James, because of the delays, which was not his fault. But the pressure on me took its toll.
During the period when there was controversy over eviction of tenants in rent-controlled premises in Penang, I wrote to Aliran and the letter was published, highlighting our circumstances and asked whether we, as decent landlords (always perceived to be bullying), or the tenants, were the actual victims.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Another form of courier service
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Natalie," the man replied.
"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Natalie," was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Natalie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Natalie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Natalie questioned the man."No one has ever used me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "Palm Coast."
"Really" she said. "I have family in "Palm Coast."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer.
"I want to see Natalie," the man replied.
"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Natalie," was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Natalie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Natalie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Natalie questioned the man."No one has ever used me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "Palm Coast."
"Really" she said. "I have family in "Palm Coast."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer.
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