It's my way or the highway...

"There's nothing wrong with your koo-koo. Go back to your wife!"

(Picture borrowed from Zorro unmasked)

With the recent legal reform which criminalizes marital rape, I just wish to highlight a minor aspect from a different perspective.

A married man with a menopausal wife will have to contend with being celibate or try to be imaginative. While he contends with his sexual needs, the master-bedroom which turns into a masturbate room is no longer a joke.

Being a reasonable man, he has to decide among the options of monk-hood, straying or divorce. In the meantime, his health suffers as a result of being humiliated with the wife’s rejection and it is contributing to his likely erectile dysfunction problem. Imagine with a ‘don’t touch me partner’, all romantic and erotic thoughts, which he relied on before, disappeared and he is at a loss as to how to make it work again.

According to Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King. “many marriages are strained as a result of desire discrepancy. Because a woman’s sexual desire is low, the wheels may fall off in the relationship. The relationship may become toxic as while he chases her, she withdraws from him.”

“The sexual contact will be good for the marriage as the couple spends some intimate time together. There is a saying ‘If you don’t use it, you lose it’ and one should remember that regular sexual activity facilitates sexual functions,” she said, adding that medical conditions such as erectile dysfunction (ED) may also rear its ugly head when a man is in his 40s.”

Wherever he goes to, gossips among women seem to go along the lines like, ‘that ungrateful so-and-so left his wife for a younger woman’ and ‘all men cannot be trusted’. In other words, he has to contend with “no means no” and any other action will be criticised no matter what the reasons were.

While we contend with problems of the majority cases of wife abuse and marital rape, spare a thought to the rare cases of husbands who are being emotionally abused by their wives, which left no scars. There is no avenue without criticism sums up his dilemma.

Dr. Rosie added, “While worrying about this, the man would also have to deal with less intense orgasms and a longer recovery period,” she said, adding that while a young man takes an average of 19 minutes before he is good to go again, a 55-year-old man may take anything from 24 hours to a week.”

Unless the relationship is already written off, it does not take much to please a husband, does it?

I cannot help recalling the recent news of Sapura’s boss who is 76, married to an Iranian of 30. Just imagine someone else, say in his 50s, having to consider celibacy. Does it seem natural? But then again, not many are as rich as him.