Humour beneath the snob appeal

A lady walks into Tiffany's...
She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it...
As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts...
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a salesperson was not anywhere near...
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her... good looking as well...
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's.
He politely greets the lady with 'Good day, Madam... How may we help you today?'
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, 'Madam... if you farted just looking at it... you're going to shit when I tell you the price...'

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Fantasia Malaysia: Cabinet to mull RCI on 'Red Bean Army'!

I could not believe my eyes when I first read the headline in FreeMalaysiaToday! This is like a national joke getting out of hand, and all because someone started a group 'Red Bean Army' on Facebook and it gathered more 'members' presumably, because I have yet to come across it nor look for it. The following seems to be the start of the hyped fantasy:

'Li Shuang who created a Facebook page for the Red Bean Army, reportedly said that it was merely a title and not an organization with an agenda. According to China Press, he said the Red Bean Army Facebook fanpage was merely a social network from which anyone could claim they were a part of the army. Former executive secretary of DAP Youth, Shen Yee Aun, had first “exposed” to the media that the Red Bean Army are professionals who manipulate facts not only to attack the government, but also ordinary people who support Barisan Nasional. According to Shen, although many started out as volunteers, they now work full-time on a RM3,000 monthly pay. '

More:
Cabinet to mull RCI on 'Red Bean Army'
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2013/07/02/cabinet-to-mull-rci-on-%E2%80%98red-bean-army%E2%80%99/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+mycenews+%28MyCen+News%29

Just because BN lost in terms of popular votes in GE13 and Najib declared it was because of a 'Chinese tsunami', it has gained credence as a force to be reckoned with! Now that even the cabinet is considering whether to set up a RCI on this loose unregistered group, whatever little respect I have for our cabinet (more like kitchen cabinet with their pencant for red beans) will be gone.

Knowing DAP is known for its reliance on public donations for its campaigns, that anyone could believe the party is willing to fork out Rm100 million to support the RBA is already unbelievable. What is more credible is what Lim Kit Siang alleged: that some people with vested interests are using the RBA as an excuse for an allocation of Rm250 million to support Umno cybertroopers. That it is going to involve cabinet decision, it is more likely that public funds are going to be used.

The only reason I can think of, as to why the cabinet might get involved, is the scandals associated with senior ministers. What do they expect the people to do when they can 'rant and rave' about those ministers, yet the latter can just ignore them with their 'elegant silence'? Facebook seems a most convenient social networking site which encourages comments. You can just 'like' or 'dislike', comment or share on any topic which your FB friends or sponsored groups posted.

Other than the worry over the possible use of public funds for a frivolous reason, I am sure most people would treat this laughable proposal of a RCI as a big joke to be ignored. The reason BN is losing in the cyber war is because it is scandal-ridden with endless cases which interest readers. Who would want to read  so-called news from BN sites? We already have enough of propaganda coming from the mainstream national television channels and newspapers. There are so much lies being spunned by TV3, NTV7 and Utusan that many people would rather skipped them so as not to raise their blood pressures.

Update:
Fictitious tale of DAP-funded “Red Bean Army” of 3,000 cybertroopers being kept alive testimony of power and influence of vested interests who want RM350 million allocation whether from UMNO or public funds to pay UMNO/BN cybertroopers for next five years
http://blog.limkitsiang.com/2013/07/02/fictitious-tale-of-dap-funded-red-bean-army-of-3000-cybertroopers-being-kept-alive-testimony-of-power-and-influence-of-vested-interests-who-want-rm350-million-allocation-whether/

Selected comments from Malaysiakini:
http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/234928
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HTG explains what is juice-jacking and how worried should you be

'If you’re not familiar with how pairing works on your iPhone or iPad, this is the mechanism by which your desktop establishes a trusted relationship with your device so that iTunes, Xcode, or other tools can talk to it. Once a desktop machine has been paired, it can access a host of personal information on the device, including your address book, notes, photos, music collection, sms database, typing cache, and can even initiate a full backup of the phone. Once a device is paired, all of this and more can be accessed wirelessly at any time, regardless of whether you have WiFi sync turned on. A pairing lasts for the life of the file system: that is, once your iPhone or iPad is paired with another machine, that pairing relationship lasts until you restore the phone to a factory state.

This mechanism, intended to make using your iOS device painless and enjoyable, can actually create a rather painful state: the kiosk you just recharged your iPhone with can, theoretically, maintain a Wi-Fi umbilical cord to your iOS device for continued access even after you’ve unplugged your phone and slumped into a nearby airport lounge chair to play a round (or forty) of Angry Birds.'

'Although juice jacking isn’t as widespread a threat as outright phone theft or exposure to malicious viruses via compromised downloads, you should still take common sense precautions to avoid exposure to systems that may malicious access your personal devices.

The most obvious precautions center around simply making it unnecessary to charge your phone using a third-party system:

Keep Your Devices Topped Off: The most obvious precaution is to keep your mobile device charged. Make it a habit to charge your phone at your home and office when you’re not actively using it or sitting at your desk doing work. The fewer times you find yourself staring at a red 3% battery bar when you’re traveling or away from home, the better.

Carry a Personal Charger: Chargers have become so small and lightweight that they scarcely weigh more than the actual USB cable they attach to. Throw a charger in your bag so you can charge your own phone and maintain control over the data port.

Carry a Backup Battery: Whether you opt to carry a full spare battery (for devices that allow you to physically swap the battery) or an external reserve battery, you can go longer without needing to tether your phone to a kiosk or wall outlet...'

More:

http://www.howtogeek.com/166497/htg-explains-what-is-juice-jacking-and-how-worried-should-you-be/

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Like being born again: sewage baby literally went through hell and back

Nothing can have more extreme of reactions than having a baby.

There are many unwanted pregnancies conceived out of wedlock or a result of uncontrolled hormones or rape. As if to teach the couple a lesson, often just one time was enough to conceive! Poor baby.

Yet, on the other extreme, there are many couples who had tried ways and means to conceive without success. It could be due to one or more of several reasons due to the husband or wife, or both. Fortunately, medical science could do wonders like IVF, use of surrogate mother, or even choice of sperm for a single mother by choice!

The reaction of the man responsible when told of conception must be the most reliable test of his readiness for fatherhood, or his love for would be mother. There are countless variables used in movies and I am sure some scriptwriters are trying hard to come out with some new ones based on modern life styles and expectations.

For those who have missed the real life sad story of the Chinese baby who ended up in the sewerage pipe but fortunately saved...

Loo-flush baby boy's amazing rescue

'A NEWBORN baby found wedged in a sewage pipe after being flushed down the loo was making a miraculous recovery last night.

Firemen found the two-day-old boy after the landlady at some flats reported hearing whimpering from the 4in-wide pipe.
When they cut into it and peered inside they saw a tiny foot. The 5lb boy could not be tugged out so the entire L-shaped section of pipe was cut out and taken to hospital.'

'Doctors in Jinhua, China, then used saws and pliers to carefully chip away at the pipe to free the baby, who still had his umbilical cord and placenta attached.
He suffered cuts and a possible fractured skull.
But the hospital said the boy — named Baby 59 after the number of his incubator — was stable and expected to make a full recovery.

Police were said to be treating the case as attempted murder amid claims the parents deliberately flushed the unwanted baby down the loo.

But some reports said the mum told nurses it was an accident because she unexpectedly went into labour while using the toilet.'

'The dramatic rescue was captured by TV cameras and sparked a furious response on Chinese social networks.

One poster said: “I can never forgive dumping the baby into the toilet pipe. Can these people be called human beings?”

Babies are often dumped in China as couples in towns and cities are fined if they have more than one child.

The policy was introduced in the 1970s in an effort to keep a rapidly growing population under control.'

CAROL COOPER:

'HUMAN babies are totally dependent on others for warmth, nourishment and protection from infection.

Crying is their only weapon. But they don’t always cry very loud or very long.

Newborn babies are poor at controlling body temperature, so they become cold very quickly. When they do, they stop crying.

Their blood sugar levels can also plummet, which can result in coma. Within hours, this baby would have gone quiet and died.'

Link

KL's proposed Mega Tower: shouldn't we have a referendum on it?

How ironic: FT Kuala Lumpur's major decisions are decided by minority voters.

By now, we are familiar with the 9 Pakatan MPs having no say at all, in matters relating to KL City Hall. Only 2 MPs are from BN. KL Mayor is a federal appointee and he is answerable to BN FT Minister, whose popularity is nothing to shout about, having won in FT Putrajaya, the smallest constituency (15,791 voters) out of 222 parliamentary seats.

The 9 Pakatan MPs consist of 5 from DAP (with total votes of 229,377); and 4 from PKR (with total votes (including one candidate who lost) of 173,807). Including the unsuccessful PAS candidate, Pakatan obtained a total of 425,352 votes.

The 2 Umno MPs (Setiawangsa and Titiwangsa) together with 2 other unsuccessful Umno candidates, received a total of 105,134 votes. Together with the other unsuccessful BN candidates: 4 from MCA (64,032 votes); 2 from Gerakan (50,572 votes) and 1 from PPP (7,530 votes), BN obtained a total of 227,268 votes. Others (a Berjasa candidate and some independents) received a total of 5,230 votes.

If we assume all those who voted for Pakatan Rakyat (425,352 voters) are against the project, then it would appear that 227,268 voters could ride roughshod over the majority. In other words, had there been a referendum in KL, I believe the project will be shot down.

But this is Malaysia. After GE 13, we are being ruled by a government supported by only 47% voters, yet secured 133 parliamentary seats (or 60%), because of the FPTP system which turned out to be blatantly unfair because of mal-apportionment in constituencies.

Update:

From Facebook:

1M Malaysians Reject 100-storey Mega Tower shared Kassim Muhamad's photo.

'Mayor of Kuala Lumpur Ahmad Phesal Talib put up 1 notice near Stadium Merdeka and 4 ads in print papers on 17-19 June announcing that there is request to Change of Layout Plan and Converting Land Reserved for People's Owned Park, Merdeka Stadium, Stadium Negara and surrounding sites into Land for High Class Hotel, Apartment, Shopping Mall, 118 storey Mega Tower. For who? For 'PNB'.

He gave 14 days notice for those who want to object, which the dateline is end of TODAY.

Datuk Ketua Pangarah, DBKL, Datuk Salleh Yusof yesterday said the KL Mayor will only meet and listen to those who submit the objection letter.

Meaning,
no prior community & public consultation, no exposure of layout plan, survey plan, no social impact studies etc, just a notice board and 4 ads without applicant's name, but all 'questionable' sentences in the notice which even the Ketua Pengarah cannot answer, DBKL may proceed to approve the project after today.

What say you, warga Kuala Lumpur,
and Rakyat Malaysia?'

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