'Unadulterated' innocent minds

Jack (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

Brittany (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle.  Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

Susan (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

Clinton (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him.
He replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married.  How will my wife fit in it?'

Marc (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

Steven (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

Melanie (age 5)  asked her Granny how old she was.. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more.
Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties.  Mine say five to  six.'

Tammy(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew.
Tammy  looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

James (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.'  Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

Sunday sermon: 'Dear Lord,'  the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'
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2 tales: How it didn't pay to be dishonest, and how it pays to remain true

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.  
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realise it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' said Bob
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.'
***
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art..
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas,
There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'
The father Opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'
There was silence.
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'
But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'
Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!'
But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting...' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'
'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!
A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'
'What about the paintings?'
'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!'

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OMG! Malaysians among world’s most bigoted, survey shows

But why aren't we surprised?

'Malaysians are among the least racially-tolerant people in the world, according to a survey by Swedish economists, who also revealed those from India, Bangladesh and Hong Kong as the most racist.

Researchers for the World Values Survey had aimed to determine whether racial tolerance was linked to free-market economics.

To gauge a respondent’s level of racial tolerance, they posed a simple question. Respondents in more than 80 countries were told to identify whom they would not want as neighbours.

One possible answer was “people of a different race”. The proportion of people picking this answer from any given country was then used to show the relative tolerance of that society.

Up to 29.9 per cent of Malaysians said they would not like living next to a person of a different race, which was approximately the same per centage in Thailand and the Philippines, Turkey, Algeria, Morocco, Mali and Zambia.

In contrast, only 9.9 per cent of Singaporeans were considered racially intolerant, marking out the republic as among the most open country in the world.

The data from the survey by Niclas Berggren and Therese Nilsson was recently mapped by the Washington Post to produce an “atlas of global tolerance”.'


'The results of the survey come after Malaysia emerged from a divisive general election.

Race has become the focus of analyses of the election results, with Umno leaders suggesting a “Chinese tsunami’ had resulted in the ruling Barisan Nasional’s (BN) worst ever electoral performance.

Despite evidence indicating an urban-rural divide rather that a Malay-Chinese split Umno and its newspaper Utusan Malaysia has maintained a racially-charged tone in the aftermath of the polls.'

More:
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/malaysians-among-worlds-most-bigoted-survey-shows/
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God has a sense of humour?

A woman received a call that her daughter was sick.

She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this."  She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.

Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up.  A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.  The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick.  I’ve locked my keys in my car.  I must get home.  Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said "Sure."  He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.
She hugged the man and through tears said "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied "Lady, I am NOT a nice man.  I just got out of PRISON yesterday, I was in prison for car theft."

The woman hugged the man again sobbing,  "Oh, thank you God!  You even sent me a Professional!"

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Tony Pua on how Dr Mahathir redefines Racism

'When Malays vote overwhelmingly for UMNO in the past, it is never “racism”.
When a 100% Malay crowd hold weekly protests against the Pakatan Rakyat government in Penang, it is not “racism”.
When Chinese voted for MCA in the past, that can’t be racism.
When Chinese also voted strongly for PAS and PKR in the current elections, PAS and PKR are not accused of racism.

When Malays increased their support for the DAP candidates, Dr Mahathir accused DAP of spreading “propaganda” that influenced educated Malays.
However, when the Chinese also voted strongly for DAP, that is proof of DAP “racism”.
When many Chinese turns up at Pakatan Rakyat events, that is beyond shadow of a doubt, Chinese “racism”.

What type of senile perverted logic is that?'

A result of having been in power for far too long, talking down to yesmen... lost his sense of logic.

I always wonder about this whenever someone from Umno accuses others of being racists. What could be more racist than a race-based party bent on race supremacy? Yet we are accused of being racists whenever we react to their unfair policies.
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