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Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?
When there's too much dirt...
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If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
If only our students' English are as good...
notwithstanding the mistakes which make us laugh out loud.
If you need a laugh, then read these Children's Science Exam answers.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
(The main reason for our students' poor language skills, I think, is the objective-style examinations which do not require description - just tick the answer which you think is right. There is an element of luck as those who don't really know, just 'tembak'. There is a story about how if a student were to just tick (a) in all questions, for instance, chances are he would have got at least 20 marks!)
If you need a laugh, then read these Children's Science Exam answers.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
(The main reason for our students' poor language skills, I think, is the objective-style examinations which do not require description - just tick the answer which you think is right. There is an element of luck as those who don't really know, just 'tembak'. There is a story about how if a student were to just tick (a) in all questions, for instance, chances are he would have got at least 20 marks!)
Using medical science to solve a simple problem...
Two medical students were walking along the street in Minneapolis when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached the old man and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think"
One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."
The old man said: "You thought.......... but you're wrong."
Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said: "You thought......... but you're wrong."
So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"
And the old man said: "I thought it was a fart............. but I was wrong."
One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached the old man and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think"
One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."
The old man said: "You thought.......... but you're wrong."
Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said: "You thought......... but you're wrong."
So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"
And the old man said: "I thought it was a fart............. but I was wrong."
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
White on the outside, yellow inside...
With the rise of China as an economic giant, its presence cannot be ignored in world affairs. However, most people would never have imagined a Sinophile to takeover from Howard, a strong US ally and self-acknowledged Deputy Sheriff in supporting US’s role as policeman of the world.
The Australian people, like those in the US and Britain, must have realised the folly of maintaining troops overseas, fighting wars which do not concern the ordinary people and risking lives in the process. Should have learnt from Vietnam.
Ktemoc has some interesting tales to tell:
On race issue, regarding John Howard losing his own seat of Bennelong in Sydney, I read what SBS chief correspondent, Karen Middleton wrote about the behavior of some Liberal Party supporters on the night of Australia’s general election at the Wentworth Hotel in Sydney, which the Liberal Party used as its convention centre for that night.
When the polling count confirmed the predicted disastrous outcome for John Howard and his Coalition, some Liberal Party supporters went verbally feral.
Middleton wrote that “a prominent one-time senior Howard government official could not contain himself, even with media representatives standing around.”
That frustrated bigot spat out “Those f**king Chinese”, blaming the Chinese voters in the constituency of Bennelong for voting Maxime McKew instead of the erstwhile PM.
If you have read Australian political history, 60 years ago, PM Arthur Calwell in a 'Whites only' Australia had made an insulting comment against a Chinese resident named Wong. Calwell made a sneering pun: "Two Wongs won't make one white."
So to those diehard Liberal Party ultra conservatives, it must have been just too much to take, where today Chinese Aussie voters were significantly powerful enough to kick their favourite leader and PM out of office. How they would have wished Calwell was still around. But wait, there's more and it's about Wong again ;-)<
Giant killer Maxime McKew, who defeated John Howard, was seen during the campaign dressed in Chinese collared blouse ;-) and even cutting a ... guess ... no, not a cake or a ribbon ...c’mon ... yes, a roast pig ;-) together with several Chinese community leaders.
Hmmm, I wonder how it was done? Maybe they ‘prepared’ it by sawing through the bones but not the skin, so that when McKew and several Chinese blokes jointly cut the roast pig, they did it as if it was like a ... cheese cake ;-)
Needless to say, there were the obligatory lion dances etc. Alas, there was no Penang-style Chingay banner throwing ;-)
It didn’t help the ultra conservatives' anger that when mandarin-speaking new PM Kevin Rudd walked up at a Brisbane Hotel that night to claim victory for the Labour Party, he was accompanied by his family and Chinese son-in-law, Albert Tse who’s married to Rudd’s only daughter, Jessica.
The Star Online said: Rudd’s elder son, Nicholas, is studying at Fudan University in Shanghai, while the younger son, Marcus, is still in high school and is studying Chinese already.
An ardent Sinophile, Rudd’s love of things Chinese started when his mother gave him a book on Asian civilization when he was 10 years old. By the time he entered the Australian National University, his obvious choice was Chinese language and history. One report even claimed that Rudd has the Chinese character “solidarity” tattooed on his arm.
Chinese Premier Hu Jintao is said to have liked Rudd so much that he invited the latter and his family to be his guests at the Beijing Olympics. And this was even before the election. When the results rolled in signalling the end of Howard’s era, Premier Hu was among the earliest to congratulate him.
Then there is the report of Malaysian (Sabah) born Penny Wong in a Sydney Morning Herald report which talked about the "rise and rise of … Penny Wong".
Yes, this is the Wong of today that i mentioned earlier. It said:
Penny Wong, a Chinese Australian, is a huge winner.
She has ministerial responsibility for Australia's international stance on climate change. But fresh water is Australia's critical domestic issue. It is drying up. The issue will remain critical for the next decade, at least. Wong is the cabinet minister whom Rudd has given the power and authority to "co-ordinate" with eight state and territory Labor governments to "fix" the problem. A dozen or more of her colleagues would have done practically anything to get hold of the portfolio.
It has gone instead to a woman senator of five years of mixed heritage. Wong, from Adelaide, came to this country at the age of seven with her grandmother from what was colonial British North Borneo before World War II (well, it’s Sabah now). Hers has been a remarkable political career so far. Her handling of the water issue will make or break the rest of it. It is a massive responsibility.
Like Julia Gillard, the mega-ministry deputy prime minister from Melbourne, Wong is aligned with Labor's Left.
Then in another news article showing Rudd’s greater trust in Penny over high profile Peter Garrett, the Environment Minister, where he (Rudd) stripped off a key part of the environment portfolio, namely climate change (including managing the signing of the Kyoto Protocol) and water resource from Garrett, and created them into a new Ministry for Penny to handle, the Sydney Morning Herald in its article Wong set to take on the world talked about Penny being Australia's lead negotiator at global greenhouse talks beginning next week.
The elevation of Penny Wong directly into the cabinet confirms her rise to prominence one of the top performers during the election campaign. By naming her as Minister for Climate Change and Water, Rudd has responded to concerns about Peter Garrett as the Minister for Environment, Heritage and Arts.
Yes, it has been quite a long march for Chinese Australians since PM Arthur Calwell's infamous “Two Wongs won’t make a white”.
Today, Australia not only has a PM whose son-in-law is Chinese, or where Chinese Aussie voters were purportedly significant enough to vote John Howard out, but the cabinet has its first ethnic Chinese cabinet minister, Malaysian-born Penny Wong who has been selected on merit to be Australia's Tsar on climate change and water resources.
I wonder if Calwell was still alive what would he have made of "One Wong has made it all ‘right’"!
(My comment: In our Malaysian context, we have an almost namesake, Dr. Ng Yen Yen, who is the MCA Wanita Chief. She is a Minister in the BN coalition government which often touts the formula of power-sharing and which critics refer to us Umno-powered sharing.
What is significant is the fact that Penny Wong did not need a racial party to have got to where she is now. Ng Yen Yen's racialism compared with Wong Ying Yen's racial favouritism?
When I watched Devamany on national tv, I cringed at the way he has to ‘ampu’ to get out of his momentary bravado in Parliament. As far as I am concerned, and I am sure there are many out there who will agree, he is ‘history’.)
The Australian people, like those in the US and Britain, must have realised the folly of maintaining troops overseas, fighting wars which do not concern the ordinary people and risking lives in the process. Should have learnt from Vietnam.
Ktemoc has some interesting tales to tell:
On race issue, regarding John Howard losing his own seat of Bennelong in Sydney, I read what SBS chief correspondent, Karen Middleton wrote about the behavior of some Liberal Party supporters on the night of Australia’s general election at the Wentworth Hotel in Sydney, which the Liberal Party used as its convention centre for that night.
When the polling count confirmed the predicted disastrous outcome for John Howard and his Coalition, some Liberal Party supporters went verbally feral.
Middleton wrote that “a prominent one-time senior Howard government official could not contain himself, even with media representatives standing around.”
That frustrated bigot spat out “Those f**king Chinese”, blaming the Chinese voters in the constituency of Bennelong for voting Maxime McKew instead of the erstwhile PM.
If you have read Australian political history, 60 years ago, PM Arthur Calwell in a 'Whites only' Australia had made an insulting comment against a Chinese resident named Wong. Calwell made a sneering pun: "Two Wongs won't make one white."
So to those diehard Liberal Party ultra conservatives, it must have been just too much to take, where today Chinese Aussie voters were significantly powerful enough to kick their favourite leader and PM out of office. How they would have wished Calwell was still around. But wait, there's more and it's about Wong again ;-)<
Giant killer Maxime McKew, who defeated John Howard, was seen during the campaign dressed in Chinese collared blouse ;-) and even cutting a ... guess ... no, not a cake or a ribbon ...c’mon ... yes, a roast pig ;-) together with several Chinese community leaders.
Hmmm, I wonder how it was done? Maybe they ‘prepared’ it by sawing through the bones but not the skin, so that when McKew and several Chinese blokes jointly cut the roast pig, they did it as if it was like a ... cheese cake ;-)
Needless to say, there were the obligatory lion dances etc. Alas, there was no Penang-style Chingay banner throwing ;-)
It didn’t help the ultra conservatives' anger that when mandarin-speaking new PM Kevin Rudd walked up at a Brisbane Hotel that night to claim victory for the Labour Party, he was accompanied by his family and Chinese son-in-law, Albert Tse who’s married to Rudd’s only daughter, Jessica.
The Star Online said: Rudd’s elder son, Nicholas, is studying at Fudan University in Shanghai, while the younger son, Marcus, is still in high school and is studying Chinese already.
An ardent Sinophile, Rudd’s love of things Chinese started when his mother gave him a book on Asian civilization when he was 10 years old. By the time he entered the Australian National University, his obvious choice was Chinese language and history. One report even claimed that Rudd has the Chinese character “solidarity” tattooed on his arm.
Chinese Premier Hu Jintao is said to have liked Rudd so much that he invited the latter and his family to be his guests at the Beijing Olympics. And this was even before the election. When the results rolled in signalling the end of Howard’s era, Premier Hu was among the earliest to congratulate him.
Then there is the report of Malaysian (Sabah) born Penny Wong in a Sydney Morning Herald report which talked about the "rise and rise of … Penny Wong".
Yes, this is the Wong of today that i mentioned earlier. It said:
Penny Wong, a Chinese Australian, is a huge winner.
She has ministerial responsibility for Australia's international stance on climate change. But fresh water is Australia's critical domestic issue. It is drying up. The issue will remain critical for the next decade, at least. Wong is the cabinet minister whom Rudd has given the power and authority to "co-ordinate" with eight state and territory Labor governments to "fix" the problem. A dozen or more of her colleagues would have done practically anything to get hold of the portfolio.
It has gone instead to a woman senator of five years of mixed heritage. Wong, from Adelaide, came to this country at the age of seven with her grandmother from what was colonial British North Borneo before World War II (well, it’s Sabah now). Hers has been a remarkable political career so far. Her handling of the water issue will make or break the rest of it. It is a massive responsibility.
Like Julia Gillard, the mega-ministry deputy prime minister from Melbourne, Wong is aligned with Labor's Left.
Then in another news article showing Rudd’s greater trust in Penny over high profile Peter Garrett, the Environment Minister, where he (Rudd) stripped off a key part of the environment portfolio, namely climate change (including managing the signing of the Kyoto Protocol) and water resource from Garrett, and created them into a new Ministry for Penny to handle, the Sydney Morning Herald in its article Wong set to take on the world talked about Penny being Australia's lead negotiator at global greenhouse talks beginning next week.
The elevation of Penny Wong directly into the cabinet confirms her rise to prominence one of the top performers during the election campaign. By naming her as Minister for Climate Change and Water, Rudd has responded to concerns about Peter Garrett as the Minister for Environment, Heritage and Arts.
Yes, it has been quite a long march for Chinese Australians since PM Arthur Calwell's infamous “Two Wongs won’t make a white”.
Today, Australia not only has a PM whose son-in-law is Chinese, or where Chinese Aussie voters were purportedly significant enough to vote John Howard out, but the cabinet has its first ethnic Chinese cabinet minister, Malaysian-born Penny Wong who has been selected on merit to be Australia's Tsar on climate change and water resources.
I wonder if Calwell was still alive what would he have made of "One Wong has made it all ‘right’"!
(My comment: In our Malaysian context, we have an almost namesake, Dr. Ng Yen Yen, who is the MCA Wanita Chief. She is a Minister in the BN coalition government which often touts the formula of power-sharing and which critics refer to us Umno-powered sharing.
What is significant is the fact that Penny Wong did not need a racial party to have got to where she is now. Ng Yen Yen's racialism compared with Wong Ying Yen's racial favouritism?
When I watched Devamany on national tv, I cringed at the way he has to ‘ampu’ to get out of his momentary bravado in Parliament. As far as I am concerned, and I am sure there are many out there who will agree, he is ‘history’.)
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