Painting yourself into a corner...

But this is totally illogical.

Reality in Realty

In London, for example, if you were to search for a landed property with a limit of say, GBP 150,000, this is probably what you can get!

Carnation Milk is best of all...

A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940's, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all...."

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms... I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house.. a man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it..."

Birthday SURPRISE...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, "Good morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch but we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday."

And I just sat there...on the couch...naked.

Deaf and Deafer

this sort of reminds me of my mom and dad...

A man feared his wife was not hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the doctor. "Stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.

He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away. Let's see what happens."

In a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife, and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks,
"Honey, What's for dinner?"

Again, no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, What's for dinner?"

Again, there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"Earl, for the 5th time, CHICKEN!"


BK