A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his meeting tomorrow, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."
Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures $20." "Why not?" he thought. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen seconds later, he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read,"Machine provides a service men need when away from their wives, 50 Cents." He looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, he let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later, it shut off. With trembling hands, he was able to withdraw his member... which now had a button neatly sewn on the end.
Government fed by the people
Career options
I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.
Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?
Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?
When there's too much dirt...
We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.
Prevent bullying now!
If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Obituary: The late Mr. Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated valuable lessons such as: Know when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; Maybe it WAS my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies like "Don't spend more than you can earn." and reliable strategies like "Adults, not children, are in charge."
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Advil, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the criminal could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
He will be remembered as having cultivated valuable lessons such as: Know when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; Maybe it WAS my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies like "Don't spend more than you can earn." and reliable strategies like "Adults, not children, are in charge."
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Advil, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the criminal could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Blood is thicker than water?
Someone once said something to the effect that we are born with relatives, thank God we can choose our friends.
When I was a kid, my dad went through the dilemma of having to take an unpopular action just to please a nephew. I did not know of the situation until a few years later when the picture became clearer.
Our workshop units were fully occupied when one day, a cousin of mine came to see my dad, to explain how he had got a great business idea of starting an electro-plating business. He came a few times and pleaded that all he needed was at least 2 units of space. He even identified the units occupied by a panel-beater cum spray-painter, who was none other than the father of our 3 playmates who were of the same ages as my two older brothers and me.
Having known the circumstances later, I could understand why, at one stage, the father was very angry with us before they finally moved away. Who wouldn’t? The sad part was that my cousin's electro-plating business was soon taken over by someone else. Such people are commonly known as "sum fun choong yit tou" which translates to mean literally someone who gets excited over an idea but for "only 3 minutes when it is hot".
Years later, when I was managing a brother’s business, another cousin asked whether we could allow his son to park his car in our compound as he was working nearby. My brother must have felt awkward in refusing him, told him to ask me! At that time, his development company was active and just for ourselves we required 3 parking spaces and we used to have purchasers, contractors and consultants coming over now and again, so I had to say, “Sorry, no.” The effect was felt till today!
My sister was told by a neighbour that the cousin’s wife had been telling everybody how mean we were now unlike my father who was known to be generous.
In retrospect, I realized that dealing with some relatives, we are supposed to accede to whatever they requested, otherwise we are being mean. In other words, we cannot say no!
Using this as an analogy, government leaders would invariably deal with special requests from relatives and for those who acceded to them, it is more than likely to be unfair to those deserving cases and very likely to be less efficient in allocation of scarce resources.
When I was a kid, my dad went through the dilemma of having to take an unpopular action just to please a nephew. I did not know of the situation until a few years later when the picture became clearer.
Our workshop units were fully occupied when one day, a cousin of mine came to see my dad, to explain how he had got a great business idea of starting an electro-plating business. He came a few times and pleaded that all he needed was at least 2 units of space. He even identified the units occupied by a panel-beater cum spray-painter, who was none other than the father of our 3 playmates who were of the same ages as my two older brothers and me.
Having known the circumstances later, I could understand why, at one stage, the father was very angry with us before they finally moved away. Who wouldn’t? The sad part was that my cousin's electro-plating business was soon taken over by someone else. Such people are commonly known as "sum fun choong yit tou" which translates to mean literally someone who gets excited over an idea but for "only 3 minutes when it is hot".
Years later, when I was managing a brother’s business, another cousin asked whether we could allow his son to park his car in our compound as he was working nearby. My brother must have felt awkward in refusing him, told him to ask me! At that time, his development company was active and just for ourselves we required 3 parking spaces and we used to have purchasers, contractors and consultants coming over now and again, so I had to say, “Sorry, no.” The effect was felt till today!
My sister was told by a neighbour that the cousin’s wife had been telling everybody how mean we were now unlike my father who was known to be generous.
In retrospect, I realized that dealing with some relatives, we are supposed to accede to whatever they requested, otherwise we are being mean. In other words, we cannot say no!
Using this as an analogy, government leaders would invariably deal with special requests from relatives and for those who acceded to them, it is more than likely to be unfair to those deserving cases and very likely to be less efficient in allocation of scarce resources.
Monday, June 12, 2006
A long awaited visit by my KL jamming partners
My two jamming partners in KL finally made the trip to Batu Gajah, some 5 years since their last visit.
Batu Gajah or Elephant Stone, if correctly translated from Malay, but most people translate the name one word at a time, and usually translate it as Stone Elephant. Nobody can be sure the origin of the name. But it has spawned a housing project, Elephant and Castle with obvious reference to the town name and Kellie’s Castle, a ruin of an uncompleted mansion built by a Scottish planter, Kellie Smith, who died before it could be completed. Yet, for those who have been to London, it suggests the housing development company owner had been there before, as there is an Elephant & Castle tube station.
Kellie’s Castle has been a tourist attraction for a number of years. It used to be neglected in its original state with thick undergrowth and commonly referred to by the locals as “the ghost house”. While in that state, it did not deter some daring lovers seeking a haven safe from peeping toms, and murderer(s) who killed and/or dumped his victim there.
Then the state government of Perak decided to spend millions to make it a tourist attraction. To be honest, the work was “too enthusiastic” and the result was that, part of the building was practically renovated instead of restored!
Anyway, it was rented to an enterprising Chinese who publicized and increased entrance fee, and he must have made good money from the many busloads of tourists (including my own daughter who came with her college-mates and became their guide, much to the surprise of the entrepreneur cum guide who I later got to know).
As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end, the rental contract was not renewed and given to a “more deserving category of people” and the dispute went to the court. After he had lost the case, the place is now in a transition stage with destroyed pots and fencing, which was why I discouraged my friends from visiting it.
According to my friend who was the driver, they were delayed when they started the journey by the old route before Rawang and got caught in a jam because of an accident involving a trailer, which reduced access to one lane. I still did not understand why he chose the old route especially being an occasional traveler to this place. In my case, being a frequent traveler, I did occasionally take the old route, which brought back memories of my weekly travel before the North-South Expressway was opened.
Only after their arrival and when by then I had already read the papers, that I told them one of the reasons was the closure of certain roads because of the visit by the Emperor and Empress of Japan to Ipoh and Kuala Kangsar.
Joe, bassist cum vocalist, messaged me that he will come later, “..I gotta go n cut 1 hair first, don’t wait 4 me lunch..” which became the butt of a joke. Imagine the big deal of cutting 1 hair! It would have been worse if he used “cut 1 head” instead! It showed how brevity can be a problem for those particular with proper language though we got the message conveyed.
We had lunch at Hoi Seng in BG Perdana where they used to invite professional singers so that they can boost their business by selling tickets for dinner cum show. We were offered a variety of fishes, which included one “suei mah lau” which literally means “water monkey” and because we chose some other fish, we could not help wondering what it looks like to be given that name. My friend could not help but joked that we could have braised elephant leg.
Since my last visit to the restaurant with my son, I noticed they have included some new pictures, most prominent were one taken of Dr. Chua Soi Lek, Minister of Health, and another, of Chua Jui Meng, his predecessor. Both pictures were taken with the bosses of the restaurant, a husband and wife team. I was tempted to ask if I could ask our MP, YB Fong Po Kuan, to have a similar picture taken and displayed.
My friend’s car was parked in our car porch. My jamming studio is in the next house. So, for convenience, he passed his guitars over the dividing fence to me to take in. I forgot about our 2 dogs with me at the other house barking at them, they being strangers. I took the guitars and went straight to the room and set up the electrical connections. To set the mood, I could not resist putting on an Elvis cd and chose Hound dog and played bass. I was wondering what took them so long until when they came in and told me off, “we were waiting for you to control the dogs!” Mistake with a big M!
After trying out a few tunes, Joe arrived with his friend. I introduced them to my friends and we started our jam with Black Magic Woman. Being new to our group, Joe left it to us to suggest other songs and tunes. So we used those compiled by KC. We tried a few Shadows tunes, starting with Apache, followed by Theme for young lovers. We agreed that because we do not read notes, we had difficulties remembering how each tune goes in spite of having the title and chords! It was a real pity when Richard confessed that he had forgotten how to play the lead for Rise and Fall of Fingle Bunt!
Then I remembered that I was to try out the video camera that I just acquired from Joe. So I asked Joe’s friend to be the shooter. After a few shots, the camera went dead. I just hoped that it was simply because I did not charge the battery just before using.
Considering it was the first time Joe joined us, we managed to play quite a number of songs known to us. Main problem was that Joe, though younger, is more into ballads of oldies like Young ones and even before, like Rose, Rose I love you, while his rock influence started from Deep Purple. Off course, he was into Ventures and the Shadows too. KC preferred rock numbers which required use of effects. This reminds us of the cartoon in which the chap said, “I am not good enough to play unplugged”! I would have used my compiled songs which would have suited Joe, if not for the fact that they came from afar and far between.
Once, Richard twanged the guitar and it reminded me of the intro of Tell Laura I love you and Joe showed interest but not them. I asked Joe to sing at least one Elvis number but the others were just not keen at all!
Soon after we stopped, after some 4 hours (more because of tired and painful fingers), my wife came back from work. Asked what she would suggest for dinner, she said, “you all go ahead, I am vegetarian for today.”
The next day, I asked KC to try connecting the video camera to the computer. He found that the cd that I had did not contain the right driver for the camera. By then, the battery was flat and I had it charged.
After they had left for home, I tried the camera again to see what was recorded could be replayed and was pleasantly surprised to see the recorded 7 clips. Only 3 were decent short clips: Joe singing Young ones, KC singing Badge and Richard playing the intro for Soldiers of Fortune. I was pleased to have recorded something, when I least expected, especially the sound that goes with it. I must remember to take along the SD card to show my children!
Batu Gajah or Elephant Stone, if correctly translated from Malay, but most people translate the name one word at a time, and usually translate it as Stone Elephant. Nobody can be sure the origin of the name. But it has spawned a housing project, Elephant and Castle with obvious reference to the town name and Kellie’s Castle, a ruin of an uncompleted mansion built by a Scottish planter, Kellie Smith, who died before it could be completed. Yet, for those who have been to London, it suggests the housing development company owner had been there before, as there is an Elephant & Castle tube station.
Kellie’s Castle has been a tourist attraction for a number of years. It used to be neglected in its original state with thick undergrowth and commonly referred to by the locals as “the ghost house”. While in that state, it did not deter some daring lovers seeking a haven safe from peeping toms, and murderer(s) who killed and/or dumped his victim there.
Then the state government of Perak decided to spend millions to make it a tourist attraction. To be honest, the work was “too enthusiastic” and the result was that, part of the building was practically renovated instead of restored!
Anyway, it was rented to an enterprising Chinese who publicized and increased entrance fee, and he must have made good money from the many busloads of tourists (including my own daughter who came with her college-mates and became their guide, much to the surprise of the entrepreneur cum guide who I later got to know).
As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end, the rental contract was not renewed and given to a “more deserving category of people” and the dispute went to the court. After he had lost the case, the place is now in a transition stage with destroyed pots and fencing, which was why I discouraged my friends from visiting it.
According to my friend who was the driver, they were delayed when they started the journey by the old route before Rawang and got caught in a jam because of an accident involving a trailer, which reduced access to one lane. I still did not understand why he chose the old route especially being an occasional traveler to this place. In my case, being a frequent traveler, I did occasionally take the old route, which brought back memories of my weekly travel before the North-South Expressway was opened.
Only after their arrival and when by then I had already read the papers, that I told them one of the reasons was the closure of certain roads because of the visit by the Emperor and Empress of Japan to Ipoh and Kuala Kangsar.
Joe, bassist cum vocalist, messaged me that he will come later, “..I gotta go n cut 1 hair first, don’t wait 4 me lunch..” which became the butt of a joke. Imagine the big deal of cutting 1 hair! It would have been worse if he used “cut 1 head” instead! It showed how brevity can be a problem for those particular with proper language though we got the message conveyed.
We had lunch at Hoi Seng in BG Perdana where they used to invite professional singers so that they can boost their business by selling tickets for dinner cum show. We were offered a variety of fishes, which included one “suei mah lau” which literally means “water monkey” and because we chose some other fish, we could not help wondering what it looks like to be given that name. My friend could not help but joked that we could have braised elephant leg.
Since my last visit to the restaurant with my son, I noticed they have included some new pictures, most prominent were one taken of Dr. Chua Soi Lek, Minister of Health, and another, of Chua Jui Meng, his predecessor. Both pictures were taken with the bosses of the restaurant, a husband and wife team. I was tempted to ask if I could ask our MP, YB Fong Po Kuan, to have a similar picture taken and displayed.
My friend’s car was parked in our car porch. My jamming studio is in the next house. So, for convenience, he passed his guitars over the dividing fence to me to take in. I forgot about our 2 dogs with me at the other house barking at them, they being strangers. I took the guitars and went straight to the room and set up the electrical connections. To set the mood, I could not resist putting on an Elvis cd and chose Hound dog and played bass. I was wondering what took them so long until when they came in and told me off, “we were waiting for you to control the dogs!” Mistake with a big M!
After trying out a few tunes, Joe arrived with his friend. I introduced them to my friends and we started our jam with Black Magic Woman. Being new to our group, Joe left it to us to suggest other songs and tunes. So we used those compiled by KC. We tried a few Shadows tunes, starting with Apache, followed by Theme for young lovers. We agreed that because we do not read notes, we had difficulties remembering how each tune goes in spite of having the title and chords! It was a real pity when Richard confessed that he had forgotten how to play the lead for Rise and Fall of Fingle Bunt!
Then I remembered that I was to try out the video camera that I just acquired from Joe. So I asked Joe’s friend to be the shooter. After a few shots, the camera went dead. I just hoped that it was simply because I did not charge the battery just before using.
Considering it was the first time Joe joined us, we managed to play quite a number of songs known to us. Main problem was that Joe, though younger, is more into ballads of oldies like Young ones and even before, like Rose, Rose I love you, while his rock influence started from Deep Purple. Off course, he was into Ventures and the Shadows too. KC preferred rock numbers which required use of effects. This reminds us of the cartoon in which the chap said, “I am not good enough to play unplugged”! I would have used my compiled songs which would have suited Joe, if not for the fact that they came from afar and far between.
Once, Richard twanged the guitar and it reminded me of the intro of Tell Laura I love you and Joe showed interest but not them. I asked Joe to sing at least one Elvis number but the others were just not keen at all!
Soon after we stopped, after some 4 hours (more because of tired and painful fingers), my wife came back from work. Asked what she would suggest for dinner, she said, “you all go ahead, I am vegetarian for today.”
The next day, I asked KC to try connecting the video camera to the computer. He found that the cd that I had did not contain the right driver for the camera. By then, the battery was flat and I had it charged.
After they had left for home, I tried the camera again to see what was recorded could be replayed and was pleasantly surprised to see the recorded 7 clips. Only 3 were decent short clips: Joe singing Young ones, KC singing Badge and Richard playing the intro for Soldiers of Fortune. I was pleased to have recorded something, when I least expected, especially the sound that goes with it. I must remember to take along the SD card to show my children!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...
At my age, walking can be hazardous too.
Last Sat, being a public holiday, my wife already had in mind to check out this route from Kg Raja (Camerons) to Gua Musang, then to Kota Baru to stay for a night. The return trip was via East-West highway passing through Gerik, Kuala Kangsar, and Ipoh.
Just before reaching KB, I told her I was thinking of my ex-classmate, Teo Poh Oon. It was a really long shot and the chances very slim indeed. First of all, I lost contact with him for more than 30 years and the only info was that he is practising as a lawyer and has a lady partner. In fact, just a few years ago, another ex-classmate’s brother-in-law based in KB, said disparagingly, “How could Poh Oon allow a lady to take precedence in the firm’s name when he is more senior?”
Therefore, while in Kota Baru, when I spotted a nameplate ‘Teo & Chew”, I was both glad as well as not optimistic simply because I was expecting “Chew & Teo” instead. I just left it at that. However, the next day we went into town again and spotted the same nameplate and it was very near the old market, which my wife had in mind, to visit some old shops and stalls selling silver jewellery, sarong kebayas and crockery. I told her I would check out the lawyers’ office to see if it was his, and even told her off when she discouraged me.
We came to an understanding that we will meet at 12.30pm at a certain place if I happen to meet him. But then it was closed (normally open on Sunday) because of Agong’s birthday. So I joined her going through the stalls selling sarong kebayas. She bought some kebayas, a potted palm and a mat, which I decided to put in the car instead of carrying them all over the place.
After lunch at a Chinese coffee shop (the stalls at the market had a wide variety of Malay food which I did not mind having, but the atmosphere was chaotic), we visited a few old jewellery shops selling kerongsang but could not find any old crockery shops. She bought an old ring and by then, she had already made up her mind to buy 2 more kebayas and I was to get the money hidden in the glove compartment. I had already made a trip to the car just to put earlier purchases but did not bother about the money as she did not insist and I did not want to give whoever is watching nearby that there are things hidden.
We went our separate ways, she to the kebaya stall and me to the car. On the way, I spotted a bakery with nice French loaves. I stopped to buy 2 and even commented to the woman that she liked Pavarotti from the opera tune being played in her shop.
After leaving the shop and still thinking about the Pavarotti comment, I did not notice the raised level of the next shop. I kicked against it, first the right leg, then the left and I lost my balance. I went forward trying hard to stop my fall and I could remember bouncing up from my first fall and head towards the edge of a 2-step raised level and hit directly at the edge. I can still remember the hard knock on my forehead and the immense pain followed by the gush of blood. I am known for having a phobia of blood, which can make me faint and I was about to feel faint. At that moment, I suddenly remember my children and wife and thought to myself I had to control the situation. I quickly pulled out my hanky and placed it against my cut and pressed hard. The shop-owner was very helpful in quickly providing me with cotton wool. The next thing, I tried to contact my wife and took out my handphone and someone had to give her instructions of my location.
I always say the handphone is the best instument in times of emergency, not to mention the countless occasions we could just call someone to say we are going to be late. I could have fainted and even died due to loss of blood and I wonder if my wife would ever know until much later.
The mother of a shop-owner waited with me for a long while for my wife to bring the car over. She gave up when I told her that we are new in town and she probably had problem finding her way. One of the reasons why she took so long was that when I handed to her the car key, the remote sensor detached itself from the key (for the first time) and remained in my pocket! Talking about things going wrong! I did not know until when she asked for it. Good job she knew how to disable the alarm and managed to drive the car over.
Earlier I had noticed a clinic with the unusual surname Lua and those people around me confirmed that it was just at the back of the shops. After getting into the car, as we were moving off, I looked at the front of the shop and noticed “Teo & Chew”! Of all places!
At the clinic, after the initial treatment which included about 12 stitches to close a gaping wound (2-inch long) which he commented, “don’t understand how it could be so serious but luckily did not affect the bone,” I asked the doctor if he knew Teo of Teo & Chew. Before he could give the full name, I asked “Teo Poh Oon?” and he said “ Yes, that’s him” and followed with “ I know him very well. Do you want me to contact him?” He actually asked me a few times and I declined because we were in a hurry to go back and there is a long journey ahead.
How would I know that my wife still had her kebayas in mind and asked if she should get them before we leave for home. Knowing her, I just said, “Please be quick” while I waited in the car. This really reminds me of the mahjong kaki who would rather finish the game first before going home after having heard the news that his father had died!
I believe the concussion had caused a certain whiplash effect on my neck as I could feel pain when I turn my head. So the long journey home was rather painful now and again when the car bounced or jerked.
As usual, I kept thinking of “why it happened?” as being superstitious, I always believe there is a reason. Apart from the worst that could have happened: like myself died while my 3 children are in UK; my injury prevented me from going on the trip in July; I also thought of “what a way to get to know Teo Poh Oon’s office! I did not know if it was him until the accident and the treatment by the doctor who happens to know him!
The other strange thing was that I just got a call, out of the blue (within 24 hours of our return) from an ex-classmate, wanting to include us in his application for agricultural land in Kelantan! It was our first trip to KB! Earlier, when in KB, I was quite surprised there was a write-up on PAS in The Star. In this morning’s paper, again, there are a few write-ups on Kelantan.
Something is brewing there!
Last Sat, being a public holiday, my wife already had in mind to check out this route from Kg Raja (Camerons) to Gua Musang, then to Kota Baru to stay for a night. The return trip was via East-West highway passing through Gerik, Kuala Kangsar, and Ipoh.
Just before reaching KB, I told her I was thinking of my ex-classmate, Teo Poh Oon. It was a really long shot and the chances very slim indeed. First of all, I lost contact with him for more than 30 years and the only info was that he is practising as a lawyer and has a lady partner. In fact, just a few years ago, another ex-classmate’s brother-in-law based in KB, said disparagingly, “How could Poh Oon allow a lady to take precedence in the firm’s name when he is more senior?”
Therefore, while in Kota Baru, when I spotted a nameplate ‘Teo & Chew”, I was both glad as well as not optimistic simply because I was expecting “Chew & Teo” instead. I just left it at that. However, the next day we went into town again and spotted the same nameplate and it was very near the old market, which my wife had in mind, to visit some old shops and stalls selling silver jewellery, sarong kebayas and crockery. I told her I would check out the lawyers’ office to see if it was his, and even told her off when she discouraged me.
We came to an understanding that we will meet at 12.30pm at a certain place if I happen to meet him. But then it was closed (normally open on Sunday) because of Agong’s birthday. So I joined her going through the stalls selling sarong kebayas. She bought some kebayas, a potted palm and a mat, which I decided to put in the car instead of carrying them all over the place.
After lunch at a Chinese coffee shop (the stalls at the market had a wide variety of Malay food which I did not mind having, but the atmosphere was chaotic), we visited a few old jewellery shops selling kerongsang but could not find any old crockery shops. She bought an old ring and by then, she had already made up her mind to buy 2 more kebayas and I was to get the money hidden in the glove compartment. I had already made a trip to the car just to put earlier purchases but did not bother about the money as she did not insist and I did not want to give whoever is watching nearby that there are things hidden.
We went our separate ways, she to the kebaya stall and me to the car. On the way, I spotted a bakery with nice French loaves. I stopped to buy 2 and even commented to the woman that she liked Pavarotti from the opera tune being played in her shop.
After leaving the shop and still thinking about the Pavarotti comment, I did not notice the raised level of the next shop. I kicked against it, first the right leg, then the left and I lost my balance. I went forward trying hard to stop my fall and I could remember bouncing up from my first fall and head towards the edge of a 2-step raised level and hit directly at the edge. I can still remember the hard knock on my forehead and the immense pain followed by the gush of blood. I am known for having a phobia of blood, which can make me faint and I was about to feel faint. At that moment, I suddenly remember my children and wife and thought to myself I had to control the situation. I quickly pulled out my hanky and placed it against my cut and pressed hard. The shop-owner was very helpful in quickly providing me with cotton wool. The next thing, I tried to contact my wife and took out my handphone and someone had to give her instructions of my location.
I always say the handphone is the best instument in times of emergency, not to mention the countless occasions we could just call someone to say we are going to be late. I could have fainted and even died due to loss of blood and I wonder if my wife would ever know until much later.
The mother of a shop-owner waited with me for a long while for my wife to bring the car over. She gave up when I told her that we are new in town and she probably had problem finding her way. One of the reasons why she took so long was that when I handed to her the car key, the remote sensor detached itself from the key (for the first time) and remained in my pocket! Talking about things going wrong! I did not know until when she asked for it. Good job she knew how to disable the alarm and managed to drive the car over.
Earlier I had noticed a clinic with the unusual surname Lua and those people around me confirmed that it was just at the back of the shops. After getting into the car, as we were moving off, I looked at the front of the shop and noticed “Teo & Chew”! Of all places!
At the clinic, after the initial treatment which included about 12 stitches to close a gaping wound (2-inch long) which he commented, “don’t understand how it could be so serious but luckily did not affect the bone,” I asked the doctor if he knew Teo of Teo & Chew. Before he could give the full name, I asked “Teo Poh Oon?” and he said “ Yes, that’s him” and followed with “ I know him very well. Do you want me to contact him?” He actually asked me a few times and I declined because we were in a hurry to go back and there is a long journey ahead.
How would I know that my wife still had her kebayas in mind and asked if she should get them before we leave for home. Knowing her, I just said, “Please be quick” while I waited in the car. This really reminds me of the mahjong kaki who would rather finish the game first before going home after having heard the news that his father had died!
I believe the concussion had caused a certain whiplash effect on my neck as I could feel pain when I turn my head. So the long journey home was rather painful now and again when the car bounced or jerked.
As usual, I kept thinking of “why it happened?” as being superstitious, I always believe there is a reason. Apart from the worst that could have happened: like myself died while my 3 children are in UK; my injury prevented me from going on the trip in July; I also thought of “what a way to get to know Teo Poh Oon’s office! I did not know if it was him until the accident and the treatment by the doctor who happens to know him!
The other strange thing was that I just got a call, out of the blue (within 24 hours of our return) from an ex-classmate, wanting to include us in his application for agricultural land in Kelantan! It was our first trip to KB! Earlier, when in KB, I was quite surprised there was a write-up on PAS in The Star. In this morning’s paper, again, there are a few write-ups on Kelantan.
Something is brewing there!
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