Homecoming in UK?

With our 3 children already in UK, our trip on July 17 seems like a homecoming and family reunion.

We were driven to Colchester by Cheng's boyfriend from Heathrow and the first impression was the unusual heat which later was reported to be a record at 102 degrees! As most buildings, cars and buses were built with the cold weather in mind, hot weather means very poor ventilation and usually no air-conditioning like what we are used to in Malaysia.

With our son in Dartford, darting here and there, presently in London to attend a friend's wedding, and a daughter in Canterbury, our family reunion can only take place at Cheng's convocation this Friday.

By the way, I am using a German's computer with a German keyboard (among other things, imagine 'y' and 'z' interchanged) and you can understand the problem I am having typing this out! Even the homepage was set on www.lemonde.fr.

Our journey actually started at 11.30pm in Batu Gajah to Ipoh. Dr Yee had to drive us to Bercham to catch Yoyo's coach to KLIA which took only 3 hours to arrive at 5am. It was very convenient as we could just walk in to take a lift to departure lounge to check-in. We were too early as usual with the allowance of more time for just in case. No choice but to pay Rm6.90 for a cup of tea! Good training for what to expect in England when we pay in pounds!

Our first experience with Thai Airways turned out to be very pleasant with good service and food. Transfer at Bangkok airport, I experienced a thorough frisking by a lady officer because coins in my pocket triggered the sensor she was holding.

We seemed to be losing out on tourism to the Thais as I estimated the passengers were 80% whites, mostly returning after a holiday.

Well, spending too much time retyping because of the different keyboard, time to sign off. Bye!

Globalization

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a Canadian , using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals..... That, my friends, is Globalization.

Bridge over troubled water

Never fail to be a friend indeed when you see a friend in need.

Often the bridge you build over troubled water is the very bridge you yourself may need to cross.

The story is told of a young man hiking through the mountains, when a sudden blinding storm struck. The entire area was covered with deep snow. Before long, the hiker's hands and feet grew numb as he wandered through the storm and snow in search of shelter.

Just then he came upon an older man who had collapsed in the snow. "Are you OK?" asked the hiker.

"I'm so cold and so tired," the weary man stammered. "My legs are numb, and I don't think I have the strength to go any further."

The hiker responded: "Let me help you." He then removed his gloves and began rubbing the man's arms and legs. After several minutes of this gentle massage, the man felt strong enough to stand on his feet.

The two men, supporting each other, made their way through the storm.

Once they reached safety and shelter, the younger man thanked the other for all his help.

"Thank me?" said the older man. "I never would have made it out of there if it wasn't for you. I owe you my life," he said.

"No, you don't understand," responded the younger man. "I was tired, cold, and ready to give up. Helping you gave me the strength and determination to carry on. I owe you everything."

Sportsmanship

Out on her royal yacht the Queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark. Through her binoculars she could see it was Cristiano Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!

The Queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yacht's top speed would never get them there in time. At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white England shirts sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling ....... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.

On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said to Beckham, Rooney and Gerrard (for it was they), "I will give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup, but I see that my England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries."

She knighted them there and then, and proceeded to sail away. As she departed, Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!"

"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything and all that about our country."

"Well," Rooney replied, "she definitely knows f*ck-all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up?"

Old Boys' Network?

What does Tan Sri Azman Hashim, Tan Koon Swan, Botak Chin and myself has in common?

All of us have studied at the Methodist Boys’ Secondary School, Sentul in Kuala Lumpur!

For an obscure school, Tan Sri Azman and Koon Swan stood out, unlike more famous schools like Victoria Institution and St. John’s Institution where such personalities are too many to remember by.

Both of them were ex-classmates of one of my elder brothers. Azman was outstanding in school and I was told even school seniors asked him to help solve mathematical questions. He must have been one of the earliest Malays to qualify as a Chartered Accountant. I believe he must be the only person who, for a short period of time, actually owned Arab Malaysia Bank by himself!

Anyway, with a successful financial institution under his control, his group’s development company was not too outstanding. One of my elder brothers joined his company around 1990 and found that many development properties were not being developed. But his enthusiasm fizzled out after only a few months when he faced opposition from longer serving managers who did not like his proposals in spite of his track record.

My wife and I were at Ambank, Batu Gajah, to hire a safe deposit box. I could not resist telling the lady that her big boss was from the same school as me. She asked me which one and must have found it odd, thinking I was dropping name for better service? Surely no need for big boss for such small matter.

My first meeting with Koon Swan was when I was introduced to join his tuition class in Kasipillay, off Jalan Segambut (to differentiate from those off Jalan Ipoh). One of my classmates introduced me as so and so’s brother and he was so surprised that he quickly told his wife who came out to the sitting room in her wheel chair. To be honest, my first impression of Katherine or Catherine was that she looked very beautiful, fair and like a Japanese lady! She said I looked handsome (ahem) and so different from my brother (only those who know will know what I mean).

Anyway, knowing that though I was in Pure Science class, and I did not intend to take Pure Science subjects, he advised me not to attend his tuition in case I would feel cheated later on.

Koon Swan used to work in the Income Tax Department and he helped in sorting out a tax problem for my father. When my father’s sole proprietorship was transferred to a limited company, he recommended Chan Teik Huat of Kassim Chan & Co., which at that time, was just a small firm of accountants.

The first period of accounts audited, was accompanied by a management letter, with a long list of recommendations on internal control. We followed it to the letter. For example, we stopped exchanging cheques for cash or vice versa, with tenants and others; we banked in all cash received and used an Imprest system for Petty Cash. I was particularly disappointed when soon after, Kassim was suspended for his part in Bank Rakyat case (correct me if I am wrong). How ironic I thought, as auditor advising us smalltimers to keep proper accounts and he himself overlooked big frauds.

When Koon Swan joined Genting Bhd as General Manager, Genting Highlands was still new and considered ‘very far’ and the access road ‘too winding and dangerous’. They were looking for staff and he actually phoned my brother asking if any of our relatives or friends were interested in working there. As I was attending a course, I was not ready then.

By the time I was ready, I went for an interview. Even though I was interested in a hotel job, I was tested as though I was applying for a croupier job! By the time I was interviewed by Ms.SK Lim (boss’s daughter who later became Mrs. Chan of Kassim Chan), I knew I was unsuccessful. Before I could sit down, she asked, “Do you think you know Mr. Tan, you are sure of getting a job here?” Though my memory is deteriorating with age, this sentence had been etched in my memory and like a computer virus, cannot be deleted, even with Alzheimer disease!

Anyway, I wonder what my life would have been if I had a job with Genting. Would I have gone overseas and met my wife as fated?

Anyway, when my father found out that Koon Swan has a brother studying in Leeds, he kept asking his brother to tell me more so that I knew what to do. He was kind enough to change his flight to travel with me and my friend KC, on a Czechoslovakian Airline plane. We stopped over at Prague, where we could see Skoda cars for the first time, at the airport. With another friend, also from Sentul MBS, we hired a Hillman Hunter from Heathrow and four of us travelled on the M1 to Methodist International House in Leeds.

Few months later, Koon Swan and wife visited his brother in Leeds and took him on their tour of Lake District. Their arrival created quite a stir, as the Daimler limousine driven by a uniformed British chauffeur pulled up.

Mrs. Tan had given me a very good impression. One day, she must have phoned my dad and when she knew he was in hospital, she actually visited him! Imagine, someone wheel-chair bound, and yet took the trouble to visit. Many an able-bodied person would have thought of an excuse, and in fact, it is not expected of anyone to visit, under such circumstances. One of my regrets was not to have visited her before she passed on. I have come to realize not to take for granted that we could see someone later and procrastinate until it was too late.

I remember during our first visit to their house in Pantai Hill then, we were shown around the house. We walked up the stairs and met her on the first floor. This gave me the impression they had some sort of lift in the house. Years later, I asked Koon Swan’s brother about the lift and he said, “no lift in the house’. This left me wondering for years.

Recently, there was a write-up in the papers about Rosemary Tan’s project. She said all the detached houses (priced over Rm1 million) have a lift, in memory of her mother, who used a makeshift lift in their old house. Bingo! Again, it was one up for my memory, very reassuring indeed. But I still wonder why her uncle denied it when asked.

Botak Chin was my junior in school and I was told, he was a brother of one of my primary school classmates, who I could not recall at all! At one time, he was “the most wanted man” in Malaysia because of his notoriety and ruthlessness. Nobody knew he was actually holed up in a sawmill a few lots away from our office! When the police surrounded the sawmill, there was an exchange of gunfire and I could hear the gunshots from our office. After his arrest, the owner (an old man) of the sawmill was charged for harbouring a wanted man. It took a lot of trouble and expense and with the help of Dr. Tan Chee Khoon before he was released. A distant relative of mine who was Botak Chin's neighbour in the railway quarters next to Caltex station in Jalan Ipoh actually helped in his funeral arrangements after he was hanged.

I believe Botak Chin (surname Wong) must be connected with some gangsters in the squatter area behind our land. I knew of a number of neighbours who became gangsters because of poverty and poor upbringing. There was a time when most of them were doing well as pimps, each having a girl on his motorcycle!

We used to have a coffee shop stall at the front part of the land. The woman running the stall never paid us rental for years. Her brothers were local gangsters. I was told, one night, they had gang fight with those further up Jalan Ipoh and came back to our place and quickly closed the gate. I could not help thinking "like High Chapparel"!