I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. - Robert Paul
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. - Anonymous
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution. - Jay Leno
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle. - Eric Zorn
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. - Mark Twain
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.- James Agate
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