If we cannot make up our mind over a simple matter, and since being populist is vital in Malaysian politics, so be it. For all the good intentions of writers who took pains to explain the importance of this universal language, only those not prepared to face the problems involved will lose out. So let the people have the choice of choosing whether to be with it or not. I am put off by the usual defeatist attitude that the rural folks will lose out. Initially maybe, I beg to disagree with today's information technology. Blame it on the education ministers for not being decisive once and for all.
Lessons in Logic
Lazy people’s logic:
There should be a better way to start a day...
than waking up every morning.
'Work fascinates me'
I can look at it for hours.
Never put off the work till tomorrow ...
what you can put off today.
Practice makes perfect..
But nobody's perfect..
so why practice?
(with a bit of compassion)
'Hard work never killed anybody'
But why take the risk?
(with some aspiration!)
'Your future depends on your dreams'
So go to sleep
(why me?)
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
(far from the buck stops here)
A bus station is where a bus stops...
A train station is where a train stops...
what more can I say?
Truism?:
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
(long word with short meaning)
How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
(plays down the importance of money?)
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
(Carnivorous humour?)
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
On marriage:
(truisms?)
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
For marriage:
(only appears to be)
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Against marriage:
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
(what a relief!):
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
Lazy students’ logic:
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn?
For more advanced stuff, the following from Malaysia-Finance Blogspot:
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that,when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's stupid AND an asshole.
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