Subject: woman sometimes a.k.a. wife

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Dumas.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? - Sigmund Freud.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Anonymous.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman.

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison.

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran.

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray.

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Nash.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget once... - Anonymous.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henry Youngman.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle.

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. - Anonymous.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." - Anonymous.

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

My comments:- Yet, if you try to book a good restaurant for a wedding, you need almost a year’s booking in advance. "Wise men say, only fools rush in..." croons Elvis.