Friday, June 26, 2015

Dina Zaman: Unappreciated in my own country

'I never thought I would say this but when I arrived home from Singapore, and had a long drawn out battle with baggage delays at KLIA, and then touts at KL Sentral, I looked up to the dark evening sky and thought how Malaysia had become a third world country.

As I stood there with my bags, observing fellow Malaysians shouting at the touts, while the security guards looked away, and then seeing a poor, hapless foreign porter being heckled by a lazy plonker of a Malaysian, I said to myself, there has to be a better way of living and to live.

While I wrestled with anger and contempt at the touts, the Malay in me, the Muslim in me felt dismayed to see much older Malay men wearing the kopiahs (skullcaps) touting cab rides and swearing at those who declined their offers.
Apa dah jadi dengan orang Melayu kita ni (What's happening to the Malays), I said to myself.'


'An old friend’s ever oft repeated phrase came to mind: it’s so hard (here).

Two reasons as to why I have been quiet – not writing columns – are because I, with my friends, have been busy marketing our research start-up (more on that in another column) and I have been searching for funding for a postgraduate programme. I already have a conditional offer abroad.

I had been told to try for funding from local universities; upon finishing my PhD, I would be bonded to the university. No problem, I said.

Rejection from University A:

“Your niche area might be useful for the English Language section or the Literature section. The thing that might work against you is your age (no offence, this is simply stating the reality that heads of departments prefer younger staff so as to ensure continuity.”

I wrote back, my intended study is in the field of sociology or anthropology, not literature.

Unless you count my study on the class divide among Muslims as FICTION. And my age has nothing to do with it.

Rejection from University B, because even though I have a Masters in Literature, it’s not in Sociology.

I am willing to take up another Masters, I said.

“I am sorry but we are unable to offer you a position.”

I also was rebuffed by a private organisation which funds postgraduate studies, solely because I am in my mid-40s.

"You need to be below the age of 40 as you will be bonded to us."

"Just because I'll be 50 by then it doesn't mean I can't serve the organisation or country. Why are you so ageist."

"Er, er, er... I am just following orders."

What a marked difference when it comes to responses from foreign universities: when I apply to foreign universities, I am always floored to know that the supervisors I approached have read my book and works published in news websites.

When I visited the National University of Singapore, I was shocked to find that my work had been studied and written about in a journal they published!

What am I doing here, when my country does not even appreciate me?'

More:
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/opinion/dina-zaman/article/unappreciated-in-my-own-country#sthash.3p3P3Ug2.dpbs
Link

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