Answering machine every modern school should have

This is the message that the Maroochydore High School, Queensland, Australia, staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school.
This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed  to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough.
This is an actual message at a school in Australia.

Transcript:

Hello, you have reached the automated answering service of your school
In order to assist you in connecting you to the right staff member, Please listen to all the options before making a selection
To lie about why your child is absent Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his homework Press 2
To complain about what we do Press 3
To swear at staff members Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information, that has already been enclosed in your newsletter and several fliers that have been mailed to you Press 5
If you want us to raise your child Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year Press 8
To complain about bus transportation Press 9
To complain about school lunches Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his or her behavior, classwork, and homework. And it's not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort, Please hang up and have a nice day.
If you want this in another language Move to a country that speaks it.
Thank you for your interest in public education.

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