Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Nury Vittachi: Being politically incorrect

'DON’T you think that everyone who is forced to listen to sermons should be supplied with a button that says: “Skip to end and agree”, like on websites?

I know that’s a politically-incorrect thing to say, but it is becoming increasingly hard to be politically correct these days.

Consider this true story.

A teacher took out a lawsuit recently complaining that her school bosses sacked her because of her disability.

How mean! Or at least that’s what I thought until I read that her official disability was “fear of children”.

It seems this is an actual disease now, and not just any intelligent person’s reaction to being swarmed by sticky irrational creatures which emit astonishing amounts of biochemical acids from both ends.'

'One TV host in New Zealand was recently criticised for being non-politically correct after he said on air that reasoning with toddlers was “like trying to explain bad behaviour to drunken rugby hoons [louts] with the language skills of chimpanzees”.

I was shocked. How could he get away with insulting chimpanzees like that?

Personally, I never use pepper spray when my children get out of control. I keep totally calm and we come to a compromise.

I compromise by giving them what they want and they compromise by shutting up. This is known as “good parenting”.

Meanwhile, I am seriously considering getting myself diagnosed with fear of children as an official disability so that the government will be forced to relieve me of the stress of parenting.

I’ll have a miraculous recovery from this disability as soon as the children have graduated from university.

Sound like a plan?'

More where that came from:
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