Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Latest jokes from UK


It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London .

 A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they
 haven't got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it
 under his arm and walks to the gate." McTavish , Scotland ," he says,
 "Discus" and in he walks.

 The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his
 shoulder." Waddington-Smythe , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in
 he walks.

 The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks
 it under his arm. “O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."

Meanwhile...

A young girl started work in a village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday  for a couple of days and asked her if she would be willing to run the shop on her own. She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.

"Look," he said. "My regular customers don't ask for condoms, they'll ask for  a 310 [small], a 320 [medium] or a 330 [large]. The word condom won't even be  used.

The first day was fine but on the second day a coloured guy came in to the  shop, put out his hand and said "350"..

The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her  predicament.

" Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs"  her boss told her.

She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes "!!!! she said " He's got one hanging there"....!

The boss said "Go back in and give him £3-50......................He's the Window cleaner"!!!!

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