1. During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said, "We didn't even know they were living up there."
2. Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
An improvised one to suit our Malaysian politics...
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a Virgin"
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically
but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it ... God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically
but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it ... God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?"
"Because you're working for the BARISAN NASIONAL Government,
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get screwed."
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"Because you're working for the BARISAN NASIONAL Government,
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get screwed."
Well, KS, whether the joke's politically correct or not, I think you are telling it the way it is! LOL!
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