A lot would depend on the financial situation of the parents, with some who are obviously trying very hard to keep up with the Joneses. It is common these days for Yuppy parents to fork out over Rm10,000 a year in fees for pre-school! This amount is almost equivalent to fees for private colleges or public universities. Besides this, you are likely to find classes for music, ballet, and tuition for mathematics. This is just for pre-school!
A parent once commented about his son who was seen to be overprotective over his children. He said he didn't have to do it for him before and he turned out qualified as a doctor. In fact, there are many yuppies who had an ordinary childhood before, yet they got caught up with the rat race. Once a rich man was asked why he was so stingy and his son so spendthrift. He replied, 'My father was poor, but his father is rich.' That explains it in some way.
As a parent who has been there and done that, though in a different era, I think such 'kiasu' parents are taking the fun out of children's childhood. Of course, they will tell you that their children will not be able to keep up with the others if they did not provide similar extra help. But I believe children should be given a chance to develop on their own. There is always the likely danger of pushing them too hard and getting adverse reactions like dislike for studies and feeling bored in class because they are way ahead of others. Being ahead of others too early is actually not a sign of being intellectually better, but having the unfair advantage of learning stuff in advance. I used to admire classmates who did their homework just before handing up their assignments. These were the ones who could really do their work under pressure like in examinations.
There are lots more I could write about but it is not going to make any difference to young parents of today. An advertisement in Mandarin comes to my mind: 'Kui te pu it ting hau, hau te pu it ting kui'. Translated into English it means 'Expensive things are not necessarily good, good things are not necessarily expensive'.
My children were educated in national schools up to Form 5, then in private colleges and then overseas universities. I know the last is not necessarily affordable to average parents, but my point is in highlighting their earlier education: pre-school and school, which were ordinary and in a small town. There was no traffic jams to contend with and school was only 5 minutes by car on occasions when a daughter forgot to bring something.
Education in national schools has the advantage of having friends of different races. My children have Malay and Indian friends as compared with their friends in Chinese schools who tend to have mainly Chinese friends. It has the advantage of easier integration and interaction with other people in Malaysia.
At a recent meeting, my friend was impressed with Cheng's command of English and knowledge. His children attended international school from the beginning and took 'O' levels earlier than others. They graduated earlier than others, but otherwise I do not see any other obvious advantage. A lot depends on exposure and also the person, whether he or she is an introvert or extrovert. But then again, who is to say what is best but the person himself?
As parents, our duty is to provide whatever is necessary for our children's development. In doing so, it is important not to go against the grains of their natural abilities, talents or inclinations. Each child is different. What works for one may not work for another. By asking for their opinions will help in guiding us along. Children are now more mature and intellectual in this IT age. Treat them with respect and you will be rewarded with love and respect. This is not something that success in career and money could buy.
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