Yesterday, I was at the coffee shop having my lunch when two friends joined me at the table. The stall operator asked the other guy (spray-painter) why he is alone and he replied that his associate (car mechanic) has gone to Kedah for his daughter's convocation. He continued that the other guy is lucky because all his children graduated as compared with none of his.
This statement reminded the stall operator of his own relations who looked down on him and his family because they were better educated. The animosity came to a head when one day, the other guy mentioned to his family not to mix with those 'uneducated ones'. This guy said he actually went over to his house and thumped him down to the floor! He then made a sweeping statement that all educated people look down on others and they prefer to keep to themselves rather than mix with others like him. He added that if you look around, most of those well educated, having good careers would live with their own families and not look after their aged parents. At this point, I had to say something. I noticed a man sitting at the next table gave me a knowing smile, seemingly agreeing with my surprise at what he had said so far.
I said that during my time as kids, we were expected to do some house work like painting the walls and windows, cutting firewood, running errands and so on. These days, our children do not have the time for such things and in fact, we have to run errands for them like paying bills and what not. For those with children, the grandparents are often part-time child minders (even with maids because of lack of trust) while the young adults work at their careers and take time to relax. I asked him, 'Given the choice, would you rather your children be at home and keep you company and do errands instead of being successful at their careers?' I am sure being at home most of the time, they are likely to get onto each other's nerves! It is all a question of trying to achieve balance and often, we are faced with either too little or too much attention or whatever it is we are after.
I was upset at his sweeping statement that all educated people do not care about their elders. Well, if we are talking about time spent, then obviously those being overseas are unable to be at the side of the old folks most times other than when they are home on holiday. I was reluctant to mention but I had to give my own example that I have a daughter doing post-graduate course who is volunteering her service to some people, while my other daughter in UK did caring work by choice. The work as a carer is not something one pretends to be happy to do, especially those VVIPs, for the cameras. I would say that her good nature helped her in finding a good job recently!
Anyway, among other things, he asked me why I stayed at home at night and not join him and others for night out. Now, this has nothing to do with looking down on people, more because of differences in interest. We have golfers and mahjong players who made friends as well as lost some while being too keen with their passion for them. For those who love playing music, anyone who can jam and play mutually enjoyable tunes are welcome regardless of their social background. I have had enough of differences in choice of songs or tunes with my good friends, and that has nothing to do with looking up to or down on people.
The guy mentioned that even in school, those studious ones kept away from them. I said from my own experience, being reserved and coming from a sheltered background, I used to find those 'naughty' (as in playful and not interested in studies) classmates were the ones being snobbish. I can still remember to this day how a classmate who brought a football to school, picked and chose whoever he is interested to play football with him! Now, who was looking down on who then?
This guy failed to realize that one of the reasons why some people cannot stand is his foul mouth. I have been used to those foul language when growing up in the motor workshops where the workers were known to swear at the beginning, at every pause, and at the end of every sentence. What I can't stand and most people find embarrassing is when it goes 'TNMKCH' at every pause. Just imagine our mothers were being insulted each time and he did not find that a good reason why some people stay away from him! For the record, we are still good friends because I am used to his language!
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