Sex and the Sabbath

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question.

The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays."

The man thinks: " What does a priest know of sex?"

He goes to minister...a married man, experienced, for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge...A Rabbi.

The Rabbi ponders the question and states," My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?!"

The Rabbi softly speaks," If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."

But today's cartoon 'Closer to home' in the Star seems to suggest some wives would rather their husbands be celibate:

Husband reading from newspaper: "It says here that men who make love twice a week live 12 years longer than men who are celibate. You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

Could not resist including this joke:

The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.

However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.
They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?"

The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow.

"You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?

"The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."
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