You know you are old when...

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

AND...

You are not sure if these are facts or jokes!

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