A post worth repeating

This is the time of the year when we have to start looking for documents necessary for the filing of our tax returns. The ordinary taxpayers perception of the Inland Revenue is that of an uncompromising debt collector waiting for their dues. When you take risks and lose money, it is none of their business. But when you are making money, then they want a share of it.

Much as our Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri wants to change our perception of it - to make it more friendly, the tax laws remain to the dismay of many a taxpayer. Try telling them that their office and travelling expenses, which are commonly thought of as necessary for a small business, are disallowable for tax purposes and see their reactions. Fine them for disclosing something out of honesty and they will think, 'why did I do that, might as well wait for them to find out!'

As we all know, oil palms are susceptible to the vagaries of nature and palm oil prices are highly volatile. Yet we have provisions for estimates of profits which are not supposed to be out by more than 10%. Any deviation from that is liable to fine based on the 'under-estimated income'. So in effect, one has to be able to predict future prices too! Then, there is the added problem of thefts of fresh fruit bunches whenever the palm oil prices are high enough to make it worthwhile.

Anyway, this is one of my favourite jokes about the tax man or woman:

A father is in a restaurant with his son. The young man is demonstrating how he can catch a pound coin with his mouth after flipping it in the air. Suddenly, he starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes he has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious-looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the mall, reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the young man, the woman carefully unzips his pants takes hold of his testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then even more firmly. After a few seconds he convulses violently and coughs up the pound coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the lad, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replies, " I work for the Inland Revenue."


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