Confession of a tardy bagpiper

I just realized I have a problem saying 'bagpipe', mixing up with 'magpie', when speaking to a young Scotsman on a visit from London. Alistair's grandparents used to work for Guthrie and he was supposed to look up No.10 Jalan Kampong Pandan and take a picture, if the house is still there! Vaguely, I remember him saying he is related to the first British Resident of Malaya. Anyway, this joke has nothing to do with him (except maybe the Scottish connection with bagpipes), and certainly sans connection with our local Indah Water Consortium, a nice name for a sewerage company!

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch.

I played out my heart and soul. As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I'd never played before, from 'Going Home' and 'The Lord is My Shepherd' to 'Flowers of the Forest.' I closed the lengthy session with 'Amazing Grace' and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "Man, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

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