Father of one of my kids

Don’t ass-u-me...because you make an ass out of u and me - made famous by Benny Hill.

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

A guy goes to the supermarket to get some groceries for his wife, and while strolling through the aisles he notices an attractive woman waving at him. He waves back, and continues filling up his cart.

A short while later, they are both in the same checkout queue. She smiles and says hello..

He's rather taken aback because, though she looks familiar, he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Excuse me, ma'am, but do I know you?'

To which she replies, 'Why yes, I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

He is shell-shocked! Now his mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Oh my God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's Kindergarten teacher.'
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