I had a dream...

no, actually, in my dreamy state, I was thinking of how different Malaysia would be if only the leaders have a different mindset. This is like my wish list for the new year of 2008.

In view of the past 50 years’ political control, UMNO decides to become United Malaysian National Organisation and run with the mindset of an NGO, more like United Magnanimous National Organisation.

They were grateful that the other coalition partners have suffered enough humiliation and told MCA that they can behave, instead of like cowards, cocky for a change, while MIC can conquer instead of be conquered, in view of their relatively small number.

The ISA was amended to target murderers, robbers, snatch thieves and rapists, instead of opposition members, to improve the security of the country.

The FRU is now in charge of street security and their water canons given to the Bomba instead.

Merdeka Square is now like Hyde Park Corner in London where anyone can give speeches. People actually got fed up after the initial freedom!

Special Branch was told to help those who criticise the government by forwarding recordings of their speeches direct to the leaders concerned, without fear of retaliation.

Online news portals like Malaysiakini and Malaysia Today; opposition newsletters like Harakah and Rocket; were given permits to publish like newspapers, or better still, no permit is required.

Bloggers were considered as friends instead of foes of our Ministry of Information and paid according to their popularity, for helping disseminating information to the public. Zam, if he decides to stay on, becomes like Zorro helping those in need of vital information instead of suppressing it.

Khazanah took over Plus and overnight, Malaysia becomes toll-free. Jalapang toll accidents and casualties were never reported since. Samy Vellu retired as Robin Hood for successfully concluding the deal.

Government’s reserves actually increased since there were no corruption and leakages and almost everything is based on merit. The majority race was told to prove it before grants and subsidies were given instead of the reverse. The allocated but unused funds were rolled over until they are genuinely needed. They feel secure because they are in political control and the people actually support them.

Petronas’s subsidies remain and it was able to continue with new explorations to find new reserves because there is no need to finance mega white elephants or bail out mega flops. More people benefited as a result.

Plantation companies involved in oil palm and oil mills made their contributions to ensure there is no shortage of cooking oil. Can you imagine the irony and shame of being the largest palm oil producer in the world and yet the people had to be limited to 5 kg for each purchase and many shops were actually out of stock?

In recognition of his unwavering opposition for the past umpteen years, Lim Kit Siang was awarded the title ‘Tun’, one up on Tan Chee Koon’s Tan Sri, and he accepts by saying ‘phai seh, phai seh, ai peah tak eh eah!’ and I was woken by the dogs barking at the SYS students.