How a marriage is doomed to fail...

It started when I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

To overcome the problem, two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is downstairs and mine is upstairs.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"…. I said, "Dust!"

Then I remembered... marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.