A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.
Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.
Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."
Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."
Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed.
Li-Li had practised controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."
Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."
HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
What makes a person rich?
One day the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Please pass this page on to friends and acquaintances to help them refresh their perspective and appreciation.
"Life is too short and good friends are too few."
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Please pass this page on to friends and acquaintances to help them refresh their perspective and appreciation.
"Life is too short and good friends are too few."
For those with killer instinct...
Actually it is not funny. A few years ago, in Batu Gajah, a retired teacher actually set fire while her husband was in his room. He died in the hospital soon after.
A few days later, my wife happened to go to the petrol station to buy some petrol for the grass-cutter. The attendants were whispering and sniggering. Later one of them told her that the accused bought some petrol from them and joked whether she was going to burn her husband!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Sometimes, it feels great to lose...
Shay's Story
Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway.. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."
Then he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"
Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed toplay, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart.. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that theother team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team whonow had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way, Shay!"
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,"the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
______________________________
Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway.. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."
Then he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"
Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed toplay, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart.. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that theother team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team whonow had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way, Shay!"
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,"the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
______________________________
Monday, March 26, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Slow Down Culture...
It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.
Globalised processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general senseof searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.
Said in other words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Paulo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies to NASA.
The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, neither the second or third.
One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.
Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. SlowFood is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.
Basically, the movement questions the sense of 'hurry' and 'craziness'generated by globalisation, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus 'having with quality', 'life quality' or the 'quality of being'. French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are moreproductive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the'do it now!'
This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the 'now', present and concrete, versus the 'global', undefined and anonymous.It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.
It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's timeto stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality withno-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.
In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girlto dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they danceto a tango.
Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when wedie of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, whichis the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout theworld. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Lifeis what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".
Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalised world.
(author unknown)
Globalised processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general senseof searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.
Said in other words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Paulo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies to NASA.
The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, neither the second or third.
One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.
Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. SlowFood is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.
Basically, the movement questions the sense of 'hurry' and 'craziness'generated by globalisation, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus 'having with quality', 'life quality' or the 'quality of being'. French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are moreproductive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the'do it now!'
This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the 'now', present and concrete, versus the 'global', undefined and anonymous.It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.
It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's timeto stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality withno-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.
In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girlto dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they danceto a tango.
Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when wedie of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, whichis the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout theworld. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Lifeis what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".
Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalised world.
(author unknown)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Vain and gullible...
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday.
She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29."
"Nope, I'm 47."
Now, she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk the same burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,how could you tell?"
The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise", she says. He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29."
"Nope, I'm 47."
Now, she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk the same burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,how could you tell?"
The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise", she says. He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Power of Gandhism...
Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K.Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico, shared the following story:
I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbours, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.
One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father asked me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced.
When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, "I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together."
After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00.
He anxiously asked me, "Why were you late?"
I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, "The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait," not realizing that he had already called the garage.
When he caught me in the lie, he said: "There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it."
So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads.
I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again.
I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday.
That is the power of non-violence.
I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbours, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.
One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father asked me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced.
When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, "I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together."
After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00.
He anxiously asked me, "Why were you late?"
I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, "The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait," not realizing that he had already called the garage.
When he caught me in the lie, he said: "There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it."
So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads.
I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again.
I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday.
That is the power of non-violence.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Millionaire experience in a real junk
5 days’ trip to Hanoi & Ha long Bay, Vietnam.
On 23 Feb. we made a short trip to Hanoi & Ha Long Bay with friends and retired staff of OCBC.
It was indeed an eye opener. The people in Vietnam are poor but they are very hard working…especially the women folks, carrying their produces weighing many kilos at both ends over their shoulders and walking around in the city selling them. They are friendly and cheerful in their daily routine.
The traffic system is horrendous with limited traffic lights and crossing the road is a real challenge. You are not only looking out for cars but with the number of trishaws and motorcycles you are actually competing with them at road junctions. Strangely, the people there are very good at manoeuvring their way out.
You can have Vietnamese Chicken rice/Escargot (luk luk snails) by the roadside sitting on low stools and with no qualm about being awkward. Even bread, the French Loaves, are being sold at road junction.
You can be a millionaire with RM250 in Vietnam cos you will get 1 million Dong with that money.
The place is very peaceful and you can see a large number of European Tourists enjoying trishaw rides or going around on rented motorbikes. Prices for food are reasonable and the styles are quite similar to Chinese foods. We had one at ‘Little Hanoi’, which is very tasty & the price is reasonable.
Two days one night at Ha long Bay also provided us with memorable experience. Firstly, we have to get into the Junk vide a makeshift platform with 2 crewmembers holding it at more than 30% slope. Then we were asked to surrender our passports for registration with the local police before setting sail.
The one night stay in the Junk, initially, I was a bit apprehensive as I imagine it to be a Junk just like our Logo but it turned out to be quite a luxurious boat with eight rooms on twin sharing.
Seafood meals were provided for dinner and lunch while breakfast we were served English breakfast. Sunset at Ha Long Bay, observing it from the sundeck was so beautiful, with so many limestone islands popping from the sea. With stops for climbing, trekking and kayaking we had a wonderful time. The cruise costs USD54.00.
KP
On 23 Feb. we made a short trip to Hanoi & Ha Long Bay with friends and retired staff of OCBC.
It was indeed an eye opener. The people in Vietnam are poor but they are very hard working…especially the women folks, carrying their produces weighing many kilos at both ends over their shoulders and walking around in the city selling them. They are friendly and cheerful in their daily routine.
The traffic system is horrendous with limited traffic lights and crossing the road is a real challenge. You are not only looking out for cars but with the number of trishaws and motorcycles you are actually competing with them at road junctions. Strangely, the people there are very good at manoeuvring their way out.
You can have Vietnamese Chicken rice/Escargot (luk luk snails) by the roadside sitting on low stools and with no qualm about being awkward. Even bread, the French Loaves, are being sold at road junction.
You can be a millionaire with RM250 in Vietnam cos you will get 1 million Dong with that money.
The place is very peaceful and you can see a large number of European Tourists enjoying trishaw rides or going around on rented motorbikes. Prices for food are reasonable and the styles are quite similar to Chinese foods. We had one at ‘Little Hanoi’, which is very tasty & the price is reasonable.
Two days one night at Ha long Bay also provided us with memorable experience. Firstly, we have to get into the Junk vide a makeshift platform with 2 crewmembers holding it at more than 30% slope. Then we were asked to surrender our passports for registration with the local police before setting sail.
The one night stay in the Junk, initially, I was a bit apprehensive as I imagine it to be a Junk just like our Logo but it turned out to be quite a luxurious boat with eight rooms on twin sharing.
Seafood meals were provided for dinner and lunch while breakfast we were served English breakfast. Sunset at Ha Long Bay, observing it from the sundeck was so beautiful, with so many limestone islands popping from the sea. With stops for climbing, trekking and kayaking we had a wonderful time. The cruise costs USD54.00.
KP
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Them flies never lie...
Flies normally are a real nuisance, especially when we know where they might have been. I can still remember vividly, in London, over 30 years ago, seeing a poster showing flies hovering as well as on top of a pile of shit, with the caption: "Eat shit. 5 million flies can't be wrong!" Well, in a way...
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure, one day, when he was stopped by a state trooper.
"You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.
"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.
"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."
"What's a circle fly?"
"Them flies that circle a horse's ass," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."
"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's ass, would you?" the trooper angrily asked.
"Nope! I'm not," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies."
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure, one day, when he was stopped by a state trooper.
"You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.
"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.
"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."
"What's a circle fly?"
"Them flies that circle a horse's ass," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."
"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's ass, would you?" the trooper angrily asked.
"Nope! I'm not," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies."
Pensioner
A retired gentleman went to Centrelink Office to apply for the Age Pension.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." he said.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."
So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.
She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Age Pension application.
When he returned home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Centrelink office.
She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have got the Disability Pension, too."
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." he said.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."
So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.
She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Age Pension application.
When he returned home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Centrelink office.
She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have got the Disability Pension, too."
Saturday, March 17, 2007
A bank where the customers are immortals...
This reminds me of an incident that happened to me… only thing, I’m still alive.
Be sure to cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. Anyone who has dealt with an estate will agree with this.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) Supervisor gets on the phone
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given)
After they got the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
Be sure to cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. Anyone who has dealt with an estate will agree with this.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) Supervisor gets on the phone
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given)
After they got the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
Friday, March 16, 2007
Business Communications...
MEMORANDUM
From: Headquarters - New York
To: General Managers
Next Thursday at 10:30 Haley's Comet will appear over this area. This is an event which occurs only once every 75 years. Notify all directors and have them arrange for all employees to assemble on the Company lawn and inform them of the occurrence of this phenomenon.
If it rains, cancel the day's observation and assemble in the auditorium to see a film about the comet.
MEMORANDUM
From: General Manager
To: Managers
By order of the Executive Vice President, next Thursday at 10:30, Haley's Comet will appear over the Company lawn.
If it rains, cancel the day's work and report to the auditorium with all employees where we will show films: a phenomenal event which occurs every 75 years.
MEMORANDUM
From: Manager
To: All Department Chiefs
By order of the phenomenal Vice President, at 10:30 next Thursday, Haley's Comet will appear in the auditorium.
In case of rain over the Company lawn, the Executive Vice President will give another order, something which occurs only every 75 years.
MEMORANDUM
From: Department Chief
To: Section Chiefs
Next Thursday at 10:30 the Executive Vice President will appear in the auditorium with Haley's Comet, something which occurs every 75 years.
If it rains, the Executive Vice President will cancel the comet and order us all out to our phenomenal Company lawn.
MEMORANDUM
From: Section Chief
To: All EA's
When it rains next Thursday at 10:30 over the Company lawn, the phenomenal 75 year old Executive Vice President will cancel all work and appear before all employees in the auditorium accompanied by Bill Haley and his Comets.
From: Headquarters - New York
To: General Managers
Next Thursday at 10:30 Haley's Comet will appear over this area. This is an event which occurs only once every 75 years. Notify all directors and have them arrange for all employees to assemble on the Company lawn and inform them of the occurrence of this phenomenon.
If it rains, cancel the day's observation and assemble in the auditorium to see a film about the comet.
MEMORANDUM
From: General Manager
To: Managers
By order of the Executive Vice President, next Thursday at 10:30, Haley's Comet will appear over the Company lawn.
If it rains, cancel the day's work and report to the auditorium with all employees where we will show films: a phenomenal event which occurs every 75 years.
MEMORANDUM
From: Manager
To: All Department Chiefs
By order of the phenomenal Vice President, at 10:30 next Thursday, Haley's Comet will appear in the auditorium.
In case of rain over the Company lawn, the Executive Vice President will give another order, something which occurs only every 75 years.
MEMORANDUM
From: Department Chief
To: Section Chiefs
Next Thursday at 10:30 the Executive Vice President will appear in the auditorium with Haley's Comet, something which occurs every 75 years.
If it rains, the Executive Vice President will cancel the comet and order us all out to our phenomenal Company lawn.
MEMORANDUM
From: Section Chief
To: All EA's
When it rains next Thursday at 10:30 over the Company lawn, the phenomenal 75 year old Executive Vice President will cancel all work and appear before all employees in the auditorium accompanied by Bill Haley and his Comets.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
How Silly Bank Charges...
What I posted in Lim Kit Siang's blogsite:-
K S Ong Says: March 8th, 2007 at 12:31 am
It is a strange coincidence that I was about to write about How Silly Bank Charges, in connection with HSBC Mastercard and Visa credit cards.
My son went over to UK to look for a job. He did not cancel his credit cards with HSBC and Standard Chartered. The latter account was left with a few ringgit in credit which did not pose any problem.
When I received the HSBC card statements with small balances and knowing the bank charges a minimum of Rm5.00, I had actually called up their call centre to confirm what would be the following month’s charges so that my cheque would be in time as well as sufficient to cover any outstanding amounts.
My son came back on holiday and went to the bank to cancel the cards and I was furious when he showed me the following details:-
Mastercard /Visa
Credit used as of last payment 12.51/11.38
Payment – thank you 10.95/11.34Cr
Late payment charge 5.00/ 5.00
Total credit used 6.56/ 5.04
Your statement balance 6.56/ 5.04
Because of the initial outstanding 1.56 and 0.04, by the time he settled, he was slapped with another 5.00 late payment charge each which totalled 11.56 and 10.04 respectively.
In the first place, it was futile of my initial effort to call up and make payments thinking it would settle the accounts, leaving only the formality of his cancellation of the cards.
Secondly, it showed the inflexibility of using computers and the inability of human intervention in the form of using discretion which in the good old days, a bank officer or manager could effect to maintain goodwill.
K S Ong Says: March 9th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Sorry to bore readers with story on pennies instead of big bucks.
I am continuing with the saga of HSBC credit cards. My son just received his statement and to his horror, there were still balances of 0.04 and 0.01 outstanding in his Mastercard and Visa respectively.
Just imagine, having personally visited the office to sign cancellation docs and paid outstanding amounts on Feb 27 could not effect it, what else is required?
I bet HSBC’s computer is programmed to leave behind balances so that they can continue with their senseless late payment charges.
What happen to the humans in charge in the silly bank?
I am glad he is still around to give them a piece of his mind.
I was told he was kept waiting for half an hour and they finally agreed that he should pay the 5 sen to settle it.
Imagine the waste of time, petrol and parking charges over a such an insignificant amount. Whatever goodwill the bank enjoyed in the past was gone forever.
K S Ong Says: March 8th, 2007 at 12:31 am
It is a strange coincidence that I was about to write about How Silly Bank Charges, in connection with HSBC Mastercard and Visa credit cards.
My son went over to UK to look for a job. He did not cancel his credit cards with HSBC and Standard Chartered. The latter account was left with a few ringgit in credit which did not pose any problem.
When I received the HSBC card statements with small balances and knowing the bank charges a minimum of Rm5.00, I had actually called up their call centre to confirm what would be the following month’s charges so that my cheque would be in time as well as sufficient to cover any outstanding amounts.
My son came back on holiday and went to the bank to cancel the cards and I was furious when he showed me the following details:-
Mastercard /Visa
Credit used as of last payment 12.51/11.38
Payment – thank you 10.95/11.34Cr
Late payment charge 5.00/ 5.00
Total credit used 6.56/ 5.04
Your statement balance 6.56/ 5.04
Because of the initial outstanding 1.56 and 0.04, by the time he settled, he was slapped with another 5.00 late payment charge each which totalled 11.56 and 10.04 respectively.
In the first place, it was futile of my initial effort to call up and make payments thinking it would settle the accounts, leaving only the formality of his cancellation of the cards.
Secondly, it showed the inflexibility of using computers and the inability of human intervention in the form of using discretion which in the good old days, a bank officer or manager could effect to maintain goodwill.
K S Ong Says: March 9th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Sorry to bore readers with story on pennies instead of big bucks.
I am continuing with the saga of HSBC credit cards. My son just received his statement and to his horror, there were still balances of 0.04 and 0.01 outstanding in his Mastercard and Visa respectively.
Just imagine, having personally visited the office to sign cancellation docs and paid outstanding amounts on Feb 27 could not effect it, what else is required?
I bet HSBC’s computer is programmed to leave behind balances so that they can continue with their senseless late payment charges.
What happen to the humans in charge in the silly bank?
I am glad he is still around to give them a piece of his mind.
I was told he was kept waiting for half an hour and they finally agreed that he should pay the 5 sen to settle it.
Imagine the waste of time, petrol and parking charges over a such an insignificant amount. Whatever goodwill the bank enjoyed in the past was gone forever.
Because You REACTED like That...
For the past 9 days I was unable to access my own blog. Anyway, just like to share this gem of advice sent to me by a friend, for the benefit of those yet to receive it.
The 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will change your life.
What is this secret?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.
A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you, YOU can control how you react!
Let's use an example.
You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee into your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back down-stairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late,
you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15- minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those five seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good a day you are having. Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your
reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative
comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do
you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the bluecar ruin your drive.
Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use our "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
You now know the 90/10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the
results.
The 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will change your life.
What is this secret?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.
A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you, YOU can control how you react!
Let's use an example.
You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee into your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back down-stairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late,
you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15- minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those five seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good a day you are having. Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your
reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative
comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do
you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the bluecar ruin your drive.
Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use our "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
You now know the 90/10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the
results.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Students' common sense, wandering mind and fantasies
Ask a silly question...
Use your common sense mah!
Use your common sense mah!
